Thursday, January 31, 2008
a good friend of mine says that i shouldn;t think so much about stuff, and just take each day as it comes ,
thanks benji.
cute song
funny vid
aiyah sometimes we gotta learn to laugh at ourselves
yesterday was a weird day for me,
at 11 to about 3 am, i was crying for no reason,
squirming on the floor like a dried shirmp
staring into space and weeping like a running tap
stoning to the pnc question staring back at me with the " I KNOW YOU CANT SOLVE ME " plastered all over it.
i worried about english,
i feared opening that skills pack
things were fine when i got to school
perhaps seeing people makes me feel a whole lot different
my feelings and emotions become detached when i meet people.
theres just this strange manner of leaving them behind and am happy when i see others.
i am amused.
i think that everyone is just exhausted and hence cranky.
smile and things will be better.
smile : )~
lets think about it
what do i benefit out of doing such things
what do i forgo
oh yeh, i forgo happiness.
ok smile then.
: ) hhh
thanks benji.
cute song
funny vid
내가 어떻게 느끼는지는 걱정하지마Baby don`t worry about the way I feel
aiyah sometimes we gotta learn to laugh at ourselves
yesterday was a weird day for me,
at 11 to about 3 am, i was crying for no reason,
squirming on the floor like a dried shirmp
staring into space and weeping like a running tap
stoning to the pnc question staring back at me with the " I KNOW YOU CANT SOLVE ME " plastered all over it.
i worried about english,
i feared opening that skills pack
things were fine when i got to school
perhaps seeing people makes me feel a whole lot different
my feelings and emotions become detached when i meet people.
theres just this strange manner of leaving them behind and am happy when i see others.
i am amused.
i think that everyone is just exhausted and hence cranky.
smile and things will be better.
smile : )~
lets think about it
what do i benefit out of doing such things
what do i forgo
oh yeh, i forgo happiness.
ok smile then.
: ) hhh
what we could have been, 5:38 AM.
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
search google and type " she attributes her success hardwork"
HOW cliche.
I always try so hard and i cannot seem to get what i want! Or what i really desire.
I try so hard and only achieve half of what others don;t even put effort in for.
All they do is just to lift a finger, and nothing else. Jott down a few points only what, no big deal.
jerks.
hard work hard work hard work. go and die lah, what is the point of hard work when sometimes,, at the end of the day i forget all about what i am working so hard for, or i forgot how the process was like, or i did not even manage to attain half of what i am working for.
oh hey, don;t criticize me by saying " OH HEY YOU DON'T SUCCEED BECAUSE YOU KEEP COMPLAINING. " i;ll just reply by saying that you don;t even know WHAT is the thing i have been working so hard for, and so you have no right to say that. Complaining about something does not prevent people from succeeding.
the world is frickin unfair.
Is it because God made it like this ? Is it even right for me to question? Oh wait. i;m talking about creation here. We are born so different and everyone else seems to be born with some sort of advantage over me. Advantage over ME only. Why?
S lah, don;t worry, i KANT flippin give up on anything because why? If i do, then i will be diminished to nothing. Even though now i look like some fool trying TOO hard , its better than being something really insignificant. I;m trying too hard to cling on, and you know what, if i don;t cling on, i can;t die, but i will suffer! its like, hanging on for your dear life on an endless pole and if u let go, you are tortured cos you will fall through an endless pit of burning fire/ pins and needles. At least if u still hold on to the bloody pole, you won;t be Tortured to death.
sheesh
One thing which adds to my burden anguish and feeling of " THIS is so unfair " is because of ENGLISH@! wth. I can;t seem do comprehension!! save me!! how come like that!! can read can talk but, cannot write and think!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ahh ! For once in my life, i am actually WORRYING about english. I;m in shit, deep shit. OMGOODNESS ENGLISHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHIT.
i despise too much, i think too much about IRRELEVANT things to my papers. so shit .
i am so angry with myself today.
one phrase
WTH.
oh i shall be a little bit more hard working and spell it out.
WHAT THE HELL.
HOW cliche.
I always try so hard and i cannot seem to get what i want! Or what i really desire.
I try so hard and only achieve half of what others don;t even put effort in for.
All they do is just to lift a finger, and nothing else. Jott down a few points only what, no big deal.
hard work hard work hard work. go and die lah, what is the point of hard work when sometimes,, at the end of the day i forget all about what i am working so hard for, or i forgot how the process was like, or i did not even manage to attain half of what i am working for.
oh hey, don;t criticize me by saying " OH HEY YOU DON'T SUCCEED BECAUSE YOU KEEP COMPLAINING. " i;ll just reply by saying that you don;t even know WHAT is the thing i have been working so hard for, and so you have no right to say that. Complaining about something does not prevent people from succeeding.
the world is frickin unfair.
Is it because God made it like this ? Is it even right for me to question? Oh wait. i;m talking about creation here. We are born so different and everyone else seems to be born with some sort of advantage over me. Advantage over ME only. Why?
S lah, don;t worry, i KANT flippin give up on anything because why? If i do, then i will be diminished to nothing. Even though now i look like some fool trying TOO hard , its better than being something really insignificant. I;m trying too hard to cling on, and you know what, if i don;t cling on, i can;t die, but i will suffer! its like, hanging on for your dear life on an endless pole and if u let go, you are tortured cos you will fall through an endless pit of burning fire/ pins and needles. At least if u still hold on to the bloody pole, you won;t be Tortured to death.
sheesh
One thing which adds to my burden anguish and feeling of " THIS is so unfair " is because of ENGLISH@! wth. I can;t seem do comprehension!! save me!! how come like that!! can read can talk but, cannot write and think!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ahh ! For once in my life, i am actually WORRYING about english. I;m in shit, deep shit. OMGOODNESS ENGLISHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHIT.
i despise too much, i think too much about IRRELEVANT things to my papers. so shit .
i am so angry with myself today.
one phrase
WTH.
oh i shall be a little bit more hard working and spell it out.
WHAT THE HELL.
what we could have been, 4:37 AM.
Monday, January 28, 2008
i almost forgot that it is Monday today.
Sometimes life gets so mundane that you cannot remember what happened the day before,
sometimes after assembly, you can;t even remember if you did/ did not say the pledge.
i almost forgot how cheerful the world can be. perhaps its coz its deep into the night/morning now. Time check, 1.22am. ok lets play a song to make things better.
kk i wish to have a dream.
oh~ i am so lazy. i slept the entire afternoon and evening away.
got home at 5++ and slept till 11. ! and i am supposed to be studying for econs and physics now, and hmm since i can;t source for answers in textbooks, i shall now source the internet for answers. Head is throbbing like crazy ,
blah blah Deflation should not be confused with temporarily falling prices; instead, it is a sustained fall in general prices. In the IS-LM model this is caused by a shift in the supply and demand curve for goods and interest,
blah
i feel like talking to someone.,, just anyone,
ohh i really feel like talking@@~........ .. . .
Daph joined our geekklub today! She;s a -geek-
Ran in the rain during pc today. It was fun
ChaiYan;s birthday today, he is older.
Test later, its not fun.
숙제가 너무나 많아서 ,, ,but it is right, hh
공부하자! 힘내자!
.. . . 정말 오늘부터 미친듯이 공부하자 -0-................
what strange empty promises i love to make to myself. - -~
ohh ilove to waste mytime on stupid things.~~
buck up buck up!!
or else like that die man.
oh shucks. 4 more hours to school
OH MY GOODNESS !
Sometimes life gets so mundane that you cannot remember what happened the day before,
sometimes after assembly, you can;t even remember if you did/ did not say the pledge.
i almost forgot how cheerful the world can be. perhaps its coz its deep into the night/morning now. Time check, 1.22am. ok lets play a song to make things better.
더 이상 울지 않을래 눈물은 거둘래
이제는 웃어볼래 내가 가는 길, 쉽진 않겠지만
I'll make my way.난 할 수 있어
Someday my dreams will come true
kk i wish to have a dream.
oh~ i am so lazy. i slept the entire afternoon and evening away.
got home at 5++ and slept till 11. ! and i am supposed to be studying for econs and physics now, and hmm since i can;t source for answers in textbooks, i shall now source the internet for answers. Head is throbbing like crazy ,
blah blah Deflation should not be confused with temporarily falling prices; instead, it is a sustained fall in general prices. In the IS-LM model this is caused by a shift in the supply and demand curve for goods and interest,
blah
i feel like talking to someone.,, just anyone,
ohh i really feel like talking@@~........ .. . .
Daph joined our geekklub today! She;s a -geek-
Ran in the rain during pc today. It was fun
ChaiYan;s birthday today, he is older.
Test later, its not fun.
숙제가 너무나 많아서 ,, ,but it is right, hh
공부하자! 힘내자!
.. . . 정말 오늘부터 미친듯이 공부하자 -0-................
what strange empty promises i love to make to myself. - -~
ohh ilove to waste mytime on stupid things.~~
buck up buck up!!
or else like that die man.
oh shucks. 4 more hours to school
OH MY GOODNESS !
what we could have been, 9:02 AM.
Sunday, January 27, 2008
This song is awesome! kkk
with you- chris brown. kkk
although the lyrics are superficial and wtv,, but its so sweet,the tune~ kkk
Anyway~~~~~
yesterday night,. mom brought EJ and i to this K0rean restaurant ! : ) !
EJ recommended this dish to us, and it is 자짱면!ja jjang myeon. Jia jiang mian[ in chinese] .
its oily noodles with some pork and onion in some black sauce.
Don;t be deceived by the seemingly small portion. Three of us shared it and we were REALLY full. and there was actually excess :O !
yay noodles! not very spicy . ej;s dainty hands are there.
mummy!
hahaha!!me and EJ~~. Ej has issues with elongated necks. lol
wahhhhhh~~ totally suitable for her FAKEbook account . haha
we went to china town to see see after that.. hh
anyway~~ Today i went for service and it was by DR A.R BERN.ARD!
he is one of my favorite speakers , another fav speaker of mine is Pastor SY.R0gers.
It was really great.
i didn;t get to sit with the CG , but it feels good to sit alone sometimes, you don;t get distracted , and for that few minutes after service, when you are looking around for your cg. That is when u get your whole mind to yourself and allow the word to sink in a little more. It was really great and it was exactly what i was struggling with, reputation. I felt like i was leading a double life because i was struggling to keep my reputation as a person who is very positive or something like that. But it was really difficult for me because i really didn;t feel happy on the inside, not one bit, even though i was really happy at school when i see people, but whenever i am alone on the bus or at home, i start crying like nuggets. Makes me feel like some kinda like a hypocrite manz. yeah it does. I think i am slowly starting to get out that phrase, and i pray that i will really get out of it soon.
I really hope to live my life for God and learn how to trust him. Especially in my studies for i know that all i have achieved was given to me by God. Like how my math was so bad in primary school till i was 14? Right now, we take PCME right,,,, almost every major we take requires math. I cannot imagine how today would be like if it wasn;t for God.
The greatest thing i want to thank God for so far, is a change in the way i think, now i think differently than i used to, and as a result , i;ve been on pretty good terms with my mom recently, we have not quarreled for ages! [shocking news!] haha.
Right now, my greatest concern is whether i really wanna stay in this church still.
kk,, i know i am so fickle minded, but if it concerns something like ZHONG SHEN DA SHI.,. then i think i must really think about it again ! kkk
About last week, remember i mentioned about us going to talk to our cca teacher? Yes we did, and together on friday, as a club, we spoke to our teacher. I was really hoping for three things. 1- Sir to be back 2- President to be back 3- we can go for IVP. And thank God the talks went well, even though i was kinda upset after the whole thing , it still went well. The teacher was so naggy please! he was beating around the same cherry bush until i had this insanely insane throbbing headache which was sucking the life out of me. haha. hence i was sulking. LOL...... THE TALK LASTED FOR ABOUT TWO AND A HALF HOURS@ OH MY TIAN. LOL....................
But i felt really @@@ after hearing what he had to say. Basically, the message sent to us is that like CCA is nothing at the end of the day. And if your cca is not the AREA OF FOCUS of the school , then u better just shut the mouth up and keep quiet and you should not voice out anything or demand for anything other than to be a mundane boring cca as you would just be sourcing for trouble.
I feel that it is really unfair, especially to other cca;s or other School;s ccas which require high commitment from their students . Do you mean that all they have done amounts to nothing at the end of the day? I mean , other than personal achievements, it is so unfair if someone is forced to do something! If so, then cca should be entirely scrapped.
haha anyway next week is going to be a LONG WEEK! oh my tian!! TEST TEST TEST!!!!!!!! OH MY TIAN TEST! better go study now. : ) : ) i forsee myself Spending 5 flippin dollars on coffee next week. haha ~~ "may be this time is hard and u feel like you;re nearly going to die" LOL i don;t think so!!! But it;s a short suffering as compared to my entire life.so,, 힘내자~!!
you know, sometimes i feel that God is so big, bigger than the universe, So big that we can only stand on His hand and hug His thumb, hhhahaa. .. so cute. i can image a picture, perhaps some day i will draw it out .haha
For His Glory!
^_________________^
with you- chris brown. kkk
although the lyrics are superficial and wtv,, but its so sweet,the tune~ kkk
Anyway~~~~~
yesterday night,. mom brought EJ and i to this K0rean restaurant ! : ) !
EJ recommended this dish to us, and it is 자짱면!ja jjang myeon. Jia jiang mian[ in chinese] .
its oily noodles with some pork and onion in some black sauce.
Don;t be deceived by the seemingly small portion. Three of us shared it and we were REALLY full. and there was actually excess :O !
yay noodles! not very spicy . ej;s dainty hands are there.
mummy!
hahaha!!me and EJ~~. Ej has issues with elongated necks. lol
wahhhhhh~~ totally suitable for her FAKEbook account . haha
we went to china town to see see after that.. hh
anyway~~ Today i went for service and it was by DR A.R BERN.ARD!
he is one of my favorite speakers , another fav speaker of mine is Pastor SY.R0gers.
It was really great.
i didn;t get to sit with the CG , but it feels good to sit alone sometimes, you don;t get distracted , and for that few minutes after service, when you are looking around for your cg. That is when u get your whole mind to yourself and allow the word to sink in a little more. It was really great and it was exactly what i was struggling with, reputation. I felt like i was leading a double life because i was struggling to keep my reputation as a person who is very positive or something like that. But it was really difficult for me because i really didn;t feel happy on the inside, not one bit, even though i was really happy at school when i see people, but whenever i am alone on the bus or at home, i start crying like nuggets. Makes me feel like some kinda like a hypocrite manz. yeah it does. I think i am slowly starting to get out that phrase, and i pray that i will really get out of it soon.
I really hope to live my life for God and learn how to trust him. Especially in my studies for i know that all i have achieved was given to me by God. Like how my math was so bad in primary school till i was 14? Right now, we take PCME right,,,, almost every major we take requires math. I cannot imagine how today would be like if it wasn;t for God.
The greatest thing i want to thank God for so far, is a change in the way i think, now i think differently than i used to, and as a result , i;ve been on pretty good terms with my mom recently, we have not quarreled for ages! [shocking news!] haha.
Right now, my greatest concern is whether i really wanna stay in this church still.
kk,, i know i am so fickle minded, but if it concerns something like ZHONG SHEN DA SHI.,. then i think i must really think about it again ! kkk
About last week, remember i mentioned about us going to talk to our cca teacher? Yes we did, and together on friday, as a club, we spoke to our teacher. I was really hoping for three things. 1- Sir to be back 2- President to be back 3- we can go for IVP. And thank God the talks went well, even though i was kinda upset after the whole thing , it still went well. The teacher was so naggy please! he was beating around the same cherry bush until i had this insanely insane throbbing headache which was sucking the life out of me. haha. hence i was sulking. LOL...... THE TALK LASTED FOR ABOUT TWO AND A HALF HOURS@ OH MY TIAN. LOL....................
But i felt really @@@ after hearing what he had to say. Basically, the message sent to us is that like CCA is nothing at the end of the day. And if your cca is not the AREA OF FOCUS of the school , then u better just shut the mouth up and keep quiet and you should not voice out anything or demand for anything other than to be a mundane boring cca as you would just be sourcing for trouble.
I feel that it is really unfair, especially to other cca;s or other School;s ccas which require high commitment from their students . Do you mean that all they have done amounts to nothing at the end of the day? I mean , other than personal achievements, it is so unfair if someone is forced to do something! If so, then cca should be entirely scrapped.
haha anyway next week is going to be a LONG WEEK! oh my tian!! TEST TEST TEST!!!!!!!! OH MY TIAN TEST! better go study now. : ) : ) i forsee myself Spending 5 flippin dollars on coffee next week. haha ~~ "may be this time is hard and u feel like you;re nearly going to die" LOL i don;t think so!!! But it;s a short suffering as compared to my entire life.so,, 힘내자~!!
you know, sometimes i feel that God is so big, bigger than the universe, So big that we can only stand on His hand and hug His thumb, hhhahaa. .. so cute. i can image a picture, perhaps some day i will draw it out .haha
For His Glory!
^_________________^
what we could have been, 8:22 AM.
Saturday, January 26, 2008
Wednesday was one of the fun days in school as a class
It was spring cleaning. The school decided to carry out this smart plan by carefully allocating the j2s to clean the classrooms at 2 and the j1s to clean the classrooms at 4. Funny enough, they wanted us to make the place sparkly clean and failed to provide us the simplest cleaning agent called the detergent.
I made an explanation about the bucket which miss Lim found , and caused some people to irk at the water in which they cleaned their cloths in. I said that the auntie used the same pail to mop the toilet In which, the mop may have came in contact with some , unknown substances. Hence they shouldn't attempt to wash the cloth inside. haha
anyway, we did the class notice board too.,
initially we planned to make do with what we had. The previous class owners left a generous amount of yellow paper on the board, in which replacing them would be a total hassle + money wasting effort. Eventually everyone improvised with what we had!! and wahhhhhhla! here is the master piece. :)
.
Awesome pencil right!!!!!!ｋｋｋ
It was really fun to do it. !!! : ) ~~~ haha.
totally pretty right! hahaha
the chio bu standing in front of the chio board is called daph. and there;s jas , yes the one with the kyute~ ponytail. lol
the chio girl wearing yellow standing infront of the board wearing the chio yellow pencil . is su jing.
standing beside the board and beside the !@# is Feng di! fendy! fendi. my mommmmZ! lol!!
so anyway
Miss lim was really nice as to buy a birthday cake for the jan to march babies. kkk
these are the shy 18 year old children .
" yh is actually smiling!!! " exclaims all. ok i hav no pic here.
PS*he is rarely seen smiling.
this is the back of the tian cai.
this is the geekklub member huilian.
"don';t take me!"
Ong Brothers nelson and benson. Sons of the Ongs.
our famous di-0ng.MLFC president.
hehe
birthday boy listenig to one of those expensive ipods
YAY GIRLS! hahaha~~~ LOL
OMG HOW COULD I FORGET
Glam queen.
with this, i would like to dedicate the song - glamarous by fergie to GWENdorous.
GLAM!
side view of the SJ.. Sharon says thtat the lT looks small like this and she likes it kk
a frequently patronised walkway towards the canteen
sharonie!!~~ : ) my rolemodel. The most patient person i;ve met . hhhh i;ve got a lot to learn from her!
Daph, fourth year classmates : )
~
this is my busing buddy nelson
he;s copying / 参考-ing homework.
and Oh Oh !!! i took this last year
geeKKlub geek. Ah lian giving a presentation
" T.A.EdiS0n! blah blah blah blah "LOL
.
oh that is mrs chan telling us how people forget the POINT OF inflexion [ hope i;m nt wrong lol] and how they spell it wrongly. lol.
the board says " inflecxion. inflection, infraction, influx, refulx, Influx. Inflation"
L O L @.
and by the way that;s NASUKO;s back. He looks puzzled right ?haha
and now.
the famous NEIGEZHANG ad. hahahaha!
NEI YI GE ZHANG!!! hahaha
haha i wish i had more pics of the class.
Sorry about some of the pics which i didn;t put in, if i had more time, i would definitely do a better one : )
hhhh and lets not forget, this is just part. of the class. hh
Lets all STudy hard together this year ^_^~
07s21 all the way!
what we could have been, 7:19 AM.
Monday, January 21, 2008
study study study
mum says: "study"
study study.........
living is tiring.
"welcome to existence... " by Sw|tchfoot
nope unless you are being guided ohhhh it would be so good.
questioning is annoying
being me is annoying.
i annoy myself too much.
just shut up and study.
i wish that for one day,
my lips would be sewed on together so that i;d quit talking
i have ten days to find me
oh inner me
where art thou inner me.
today was really a @ day for us tkd members
we lost our president.
Don;t worry we will make things right again
here, when we make a protest, you must APPLY
if you don;t do things according to the sch rules, they threaten you with what?
TESTIMONIAL.
Apply also not applicable also cannot go through.
want to make a complaint also must go through paper work
Complain also kena left right center.
go against the wrong person and something happens to you
Question the person becomes wrong when u ask about something negative.
so what has happened to freedom of expression?
God please give me the strength and wisdom
난 어떻게?
우리는 어떻게요?
왜그렇게요?
바보선생님.
mum says: "study"
study study.........
living is tiring.
"welcome to existence... " by Sw|tchfoot
nope unless you are being guided ohhhh it would be so good.
questioning is annoying
being me is annoying.
i annoy myself too much.
just shut up and study.
i wish that for one day,
my lips would be sewed on together so that i;d quit talking
i have ten days to find me
oh inner me
where art thou inner me.
today was really a @ day for us tkd members
we lost our president.
Don;t worry we will make things right again
here, when we make a protest, you must APPLY
if you don;t do things according to the sch rules, they threaten you with what?
TESTIMONIAL.
Apply also not applicable also cannot go through.
want to make a complaint also must go through paper work
Complain also kena left right center.
go against the wrong person and something happens to you
Question the person becomes wrong when u ask about something negative.
so what has happened to freedom of expression?
God please give me the strength and wisdom
난 어떻게?
우리는 어떻게요?
왜그렇게요?
바보선생님.
what we could have been, 7:04 AM.
Saturday, January 19, 2008
L0h. K.Ting. . aged 16.
UNDERAGED.
and to think the 7-11 guy summoned my IC when i wanted to purchase a can of jolly shandy, which contains 0.5% alcohol. Just so you know, i made it out of 7-11 without the drink. -_-
haha
whoa~!
i just got back! i was out of the house at 8 am and back at 11.30 - -
Had training this morning and i got to practice the ivp pattern with my one only twin ~! haha
let me show you how twin we are
.
ok lah., maybe not so similar.
anyway.....~
Cg at b.T after that
The topic was on self esteem! Really timely, but somehow i always seem to emerge out of the place with more questions than ever. hmm , i think i will think through this again
Was at dad;s place after that.
Ej did the most comfortable massage ever!
Kt showed me how irritating whining can really sound.
hhh. today;s gonna be a longggg day.
what we could have been, 7:58 AM.
Friday, January 18, 2008
Chem test today! goodness gracious
I believe that we all know how to do the questions, but it;s only that we were either careless or our speed of recall was unable to beat the time limit. I was confusing myself on the second last question about the strength of acids. kept alternating the answers. Aye..
I guess i was too careless and distracted... But it;s ok~~~ we know our mistakes and we can definitely remember it next time~
Econs was a drag...... .I feel like ms chin answers my questions as if she is scolding me! Thats my problem, every time i answer a question, i delve into the wrong point. To me, i feel that the answer is pretty logical. She corrects me, but usually in this really " your answer is so nonsensical " manner...
Makes me feel terrible........... i don;t know lah...... i couldn;t concentrate at all, usually during econs , i am all ears, but recently, i;ve really been the one of those who " copy blindly and not understand"... yeah i am doing that.
maybe i just need a little more time to get back the momentum
Anyway, i went back to my Primary school ( visit my primary school teachers with Rachel and Christine. Most of my teachers can remember me ! They all say that i still look the same -_-// ( and the last time they EVER saw me was about 5~ 10 years ago) -_-!
I finally got to see Miss Karen soh again!! She used to teach me English and math.
I told her that now, my A level subjects math and blah blah,, and she was suprised!! cos my math used to SUCK. Lol~! She said it was a change!! lol
In P6, my handwriting was TERRIBLE. it was FAT and HUGE . She used to ask me to copy many many many many pages from the English text book in attempt to make me improve on my penmanship. An activity which i DREADED doing .
She remembered it and she asked "so your handwriting, is it still ROUND,, huge and fat???
. I showed my current handwriting to her. . . . and she laughed..
I KNOW~ it;s not exactly nice now, but at least its better. lol
i met Mrs maria Tan and Ms Agnes lee and Mrs see and Mrs Ng! gosh
Funny though, they used to be revered people in our eyes, and now, we talk like we;ve been friends for a long time. haha
Rach, christine and i then headed down to queensway to collect rach;s glasses and to bum around. Feels good to be around old friends altogether, kk~
All the best to both of you in your studies and career paths~ ^
Pace in school is starting to accelerate. and i;m trying really hard to study hard..
but i realize that it is quite difficult to get back my momentum.@@
sharon asked:" where is the old k@|kee?? "
I'm so distracted easily,
Recently when i do things, my ability seems to have retarded , feels kinda difficult to concentrate
i don;t know just hope that i WILL get my old self back.
i must ah, or else. ..죽다......
i am struggling with
myselfesteem
save me please,
how do people have such good self esteem?
I believe that we all know how to do the questions, but it;s only that we were either careless or our speed of recall was unable to beat the time limit. I was confusing myself on the second last question about the strength of acids. kept alternating the answers. Aye..
I guess i was too careless and distracted... But it;s ok~~~ we know our mistakes and we can definitely remember it next time~
Econs was a drag...... .I feel like ms chin answers my questions as if she is scolding me! Thats my problem, every time i answer a question, i delve into the wrong point. To me, i feel that the answer is pretty logical. She corrects me, but usually in this really " your answer is so nonsensical " manner...
Makes me feel terrible........... i don;t know lah...... i couldn;t concentrate at all, usually during econs , i am all ears, but recently, i;ve really been the one of those who " copy blindly and not understand"... yeah i am doing that.
maybe i just need a little more time to get back the momentum
Anyway, i went back to my Primary school ( visit my primary school teachers with Rachel and Christine. Most of my teachers can remember me ! They all say that i still look the same -_-// ( and the last time they EVER saw me was about 5~ 10 years ago) -_-!
I finally got to see Miss Karen soh again!! She used to teach me English and math.
I told her that now, my A level subjects math and blah blah,, and she was suprised!! cos my math used to SUCK. Lol~! She said it was a change!! lol
In P6, my handwriting was TERRIBLE. it was FAT and HUGE . She used to ask me to copy many many many many pages from the English text book in attempt to make me improve on my penmanship. An activity which i DREADED doing .
She remembered it and she asked "so your handwriting, is it still ROUND,, huge and fat???
. I showed my current handwriting to her. . . . and she laughed..
I KNOW~ it;s not exactly nice now, but at least its better. lol
i met Mrs maria Tan and Ms Agnes lee and Mrs see and Mrs Ng! gosh
Funny though, they used to be revered people in our eyes, and now, we talk like we;ve been friends for a long time. haha
Rach, christine and i then headed down to queensway to collect rach;s glasses and to bum around. Feels good to be around old friends altogether, kk~
All the best to both of you in your studies and career paths~ ^
Pace in school is starting to accelerate. and i;m trying really hard to study hard..
but i realize that it is quite difficult to get back my momentum.@@
sharon asked:" where is the old k@|kee?? "
I'm so distracted easily,
Recently when i do things, my ability seems to have retarded , feels kinda difficult to concentrate
i don;t know just hope that i WILL get my old self back.
i must ah, or else. ..죽다......
i am struggling with
myselfesteem
save me please,
how do people have such good self esteem?
what we could have been, 4:38 AM.
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Funny, Today, about 3 hours before school was going to end, i was already thinking that school was going to end when the bell rings [ which is about 1 hour from that time]
sooooo with a really positive attitude, i kept myself awake and attentive during math lecture, halfway into the lecture i was excitedly thinking " woo~! its gg to finish ~~ " when...
SJ woke me up from me deluding myself to believing that school was going to be over.
haha.. aiya still got GP after that ............ - - -
Gwen gave me my personalized time table today
i musttt post a picture of it someday
I studied with sharon and hl at JE today.
I actually studied today.
my DJ is really nice to help me buy stuff. : )
Thanks DJ, i owe you a trip to somewhere, someday.
haha,..
i;m trying really hard.
life is just life.
i don;t want to be envious of people who are better off
i want to be decisive.
i need to be more
decisive.
yeah thats my problem which i will solve.
hhhhhh
just one.
ohhhhh i feel like writing letters.
i feel like just sitting and talking
i feel like sleeping.
haha
sooooo with a really positive attitude, i kept myself awake and attentive during math lecture, halfway into the lecture i was excitedly thinking " woo~! its gg to finish ~~ " when...
SJ woke me up from me deluding myself to believing that school was going to be over.
haha.. aiya still got GP after that ............ - - -
Gwen gave me my personalized time table today
i musttt post a picture of it someday
I studied with sharon and hl at JE today.
I actually studied today.
my DJ is really nice to help me buy stuff. : )
Thanks DJ, i owe you a trip to somewhere, someday.
haha,..
i;m trying really hard.
life is just life.
i don;t want to be envious of people who are better off
i want to be decisive.
i need to be more
decisive.
yeah thats my problem which i will solve.
hhhhhh
just one.
ohhhhh i feel like writing letters.
i feel like just sitting and talking
i feel like sleeping.
haha
what we could have been, 4:44 AM.
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
TODAY WAS A HECTIC DAY.
Lots of running about............. - 0-
shan;t say much.
TKD fwends had a discussion because our SIR was fired.
lunch-din with DJ
DJ showed me the phones~~~
BS at night
AM home now.
School was ok, haha
should be studying more than this man,
my retention rate is terrible!
i really just want answers.
Answers.
please answer me~
oh,. so much to say................................
~~
study study study!..........
" so,,, u must be happy~!" kkk,, yeh i;m trying my best
i really am.
I;m trying my best
Lots of running about............. - 0-
shan;t say much.
TKD fwends had a discussion because our SIR was fired.
lunch-din with DJ
DJ showed me the phones~~~
BS at night
AM home now.
School was ok, haha
should be studying more than this man,
my retention rate is terrible!
i really just want answers.
Answers.
please answer me~
oh,. so much to say................................
~~
study study study!..........
" so,,, u must be happy~!" kkk,, yeh i;m trying my best
i really am.
I;m trying my best
what we could have been, 7:23 AM.
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
In school today, we decided the class tee stuff.
Hmm and we , the geek klub decided to put this !! GEEK ---> < ---Geek
I received my best friend;s letter today : ) hhh~
oh shoot canlt blog, better study! kkk
Hmm and we , the geek klub decided to put this !! GEEK ---> < ---Geek
I received my best friend;s letter today : ) hhh~
oh shoot canlt blog, better study! kkk
what we could have been, 5:03 AM.
Monday, January 14, 2008
"you have,,, stolen my,,, hearttttt~~~ " lol
i can;t seem to load this on my precious phone,,,
and i think i need to sell it away : ( it;s the best way for it to live on @
T_T i can;t bear to say goodbye to my phone you know,,,,, T_T My phone is my companion. Even though i don;t receive texts very often, but then it accompanies me,,even though it only allows me about 4 songs ..but still,,it is good enough for me... i know i know, i am not like some rich kids who own IPODS of their own.
Anyway~ Monday~~!!!
School was funny , we have new additions sharon and HL to our geek klub!
today we were also educating Thom on "how do girls know when IT!;s coming. "
haha...... . . .. . .. meeting after school w the comm members and i went home with hamster and we finally take the same route home too!! kkk
my goodness, i can;t concentrate
i;m losing my focus oh no no @@~~
i am such a meanie,,, ,, oh mannnnnnnnnnnnnnn
i lied about it. Lied about it so that i could forget you know@@@ eeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
can;t believe i am like that.
T_T@,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
and it worked,, i did forget,, IT ,. the feeling of it. But then now it;s like i am making stories for us to believe. hh,, so stupid.... bendan!...
anyway better studyyyyyyyyyyyy kkkkk
what we could have been, 7:07 AM.
Sunday, January 13, 2008
hhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
YAY today i will start my one week chiong. gonna study until i KO tonight :~~ kkk
I;ve not gotten the time to study during this weekend, so i am going to make up for it next week.
Service today was awesome, and i really hope that my prayers will be answered.
Luke 5 [37] And no one pours new wine into old wineskins. If he does, the new wine will burst the skins, the wine will run out and the wineskins will be ruined" - Jesus.
putting in the big things before the small things.
after service i met Rach and winnie~ and a lot of familiar faces. It feels better to actually see people you actually know.. hh ,, and then Nik and i took the same bus back
Dj brought the Taiwan album over and it;s really funny. I;ll post some pics sometime.. kk
cute rabbit : ) oh!! my hand is in the picture~~~!!! : ) : ) ~ haha.
you don;t need car keys to drive me crazy. haha.
2008 will be the best year yet : )
what we could have been, 6:53 AM.
Friday, January 11, 2008
Even though i take my daily minimum dosage of perhaps 7-8 hours of sleep, ]i wake up every morning battling to keep my eyelids open. On the bus, the moment i close my eyes, it is as if my eyelids gained weight and just obediently obeys the law of gravity. I fall into a deep sleep . Always at that moment, i feel really tired, just plain tired. However, when i reach school and see friends or open up my mouth to speak, it is totally different, somehow i am surcharged and hyper powered . hh strange huh
You know, i feel like i am a profile copier sometimes, and when the situation calls for it , i pull out one of those profiles and become it.I am gf when i feel that i need to be very strict and straight.. I am ibf when someone is upset. . I am rr when i wanna get all hyped into the situation. I am like yds when i feel all ~~ . I become eUn when i feel inferior and bring myself back up. Honestly, i;ve noticed this trait about myself for a very long time, i feel like i;m always taking the prominent, strong traits of someone else and trying to make them my own. Is this what makes me, me ? a person who just TRIES to be a bit of this and a bit of that. We've always been asked to write essays about our role models, What makes our role models role models? Things that they do? their true nature? I realized that of all,, i;ve always been trying to be them. If u were to ask me at some point of time, who i am being at that point of time, i think i will tell you a name. Its wrong, totally wrong.
And the worst thing about what i always do, is that i always say what i feel and i end of with " i don;t know i don't know.~~~~". . .. . this is so me. so Indecisive, so Insecure.. yucky....이제 그만해 . @_@..
But,,,, it;s ok~, i;ve set my goals, to change things, i will work towards it.
things will get better. Things will be better . better,, better!! kkk
Anyway Anyway,,,,, I;ll end off with this really REALLY! funny scene from Black Adder-- Back and Fourth
 |  |  |
 |
Blackadder exits into the corridor, rushes round the corner and runs straight into a fellow with a ruff—papers go everywhere.
Blackadder
Oh, I’m so sorry...
Blackadder makes a token effort at helping—picks up a couple of sheets. The frontispiece says ‘Macbeth’.
I am sorry. Wait a minute—you’re not...?
Shakespeare
Will Shakespeare, yes. Don’t say it! I know—you hated Two Gentlemen of Verona. This one’s much better.
Well, bugger my giddy aunt. You couldn’t just sign something for me, could you?
Shakespeare
Certainly.
He looks around for a pen. Blackadder produces one from his jacket.
Blackadder
Sorry, it’s just a biro.
Shakespeare, though puzzled by the pen, signs the Macbeth frontispiece.
Thank you.
Blackadder moves away—then has a thought.
Oh, and just one more thing...
Shakespeare
Yes?
Blackadder turns and knocks Shakespeare down with one clean punch.
This is for every schoolboy and schoolgirl for the next four hundred years. Have you any idea how much suffering you are going to cause. Hours spent at school desks trying to find one joke in A Midsummer Night’s Dream? Years wearing stupid tights in school plays and saying things like ‘What ho, my lord’ and ‘Oh, look, here comes Othello, talking total crap as usual’. Oh, and...
...that is for Ken Branagh’s endless uncut four-hour version of Hamlet.
Shakespeare
Who’s Ken Branagh?
Blackadder
I’ll tell him you said that. And I think he’ll be very hurt.
Labels: About me
what we could have been, 7:11 AM.
Thursday, January 10, 2008
wooooooo~!
WOW school has been tremendous! Almost everyday, we receive at least a " wake up lah"comment by teachers. Then our busy schedules come in.
hhh the guys in our class are such dirty minded teens! lolthe KX and mom gang.
Every clean subject we talk about eventually becomes colored with their wonderful imaginations. Funny people. lol
Today, i was while shaking XB;s phone to check out the " shake and then the mp3 will change tracks" function with jas and HL @ the front of the cookie house. THEN! a grasshopper jumped past. J and HL thought it came out of the HP, while i thought it was piece of paper - - a. I looked over and realized that it was a grasshopper. hhhhhhh and i nonchalantly ignored the innocent insect and continued being fascinated by the totally cool function which i have never seen in my life. haha
THEN. i felt something on my leg
WAH BIANG EH!~! hhahahaha SJ saw it from the back and she didn;t know what to do either. wahhh seh@ i shrieked....................바보!!! i EEEE-ed so loudly while stumbling towards sharon. LOL. .. . such an attention seeking move i know!!! but it was so sudden thats why!! MAN!
I talk too much. i should shut up . kk
i am not studying hard enough!
study study study!
you know, sometimes i always find myself wanting a fresh start. But we all know, that will never be possible. What is a fresh start to ? When everything is cleaned up? Every condition is perfect for me to work in ? Everything is prepared for me ? No, ,you me i all know that it will never be possible. All i can do is to improvise and work with what i have. A dirtied piece of A4 can not be cleaned up when scribbled with pen. Even though I try so hard to erase it with the liquid paper. I can never remove it. You can see the tapes and white liquid all over it. Wondering why my paper is dirtier than other;s and regretting that i dirtied it does not make my paper cleaner.
I want to quit trying to erase things i;ve done, and learn to work from where i am to where i will be. Eventually if I know how to work with a piece of paper, it can become beautiful art. That is, if i ever get out of worrying about dirtying my paper further and learning how to do origami. Currently , my not so best is to fold a piece of filter paper correctly... kk~~... hhh~
I want to be meaningful
Possibility of being quieter and more meaningful. : )
And OH ~!!!! i actually have not whacked anybody [really hard] /other than the exception of hitting daph and jas[ i;m sorry] softly,, in a few weeks !!!kk hhhh must be gentler! haha
WOW school has been tremendous! Almost everyday, we receive at least a " wake up lah"comment by teachers. Then our busy schedules come in.
hhh the guys in our class are such dirty minded teens! lolthe KX and mom gang.
Every clean subject we talk about eventually becomes colored with their wonderful imaginations. Funny people. lol
Today, i was while shaking XB;s phone to check out the " shake and then the mp3 will change tracks" function with jas and HL @ the front of the cookie house. THEN! a grasshopper jumped past. J and HL thought it came out of the HP, while i thought it was piece of paper - - a. I looked over and realized that it was a grasshopper. hhhhhhh and i nonchalantly ignored the innocent insect and continued being fascinated by the totally cool function which i have never seen in my life. haha
THEN. i felt something on my leg
WAH BIANG EH!~! hhahahaha SJ saw it from the back and she didn;t know what to do either. wahhh seh@ i shrieked....................바보!!! i EEEE-ed so loudly while stumbling towards sharon. LOL. .. . such an attention seeking move i know!!! but it was so sudden thats why!! MAN!
I talk too much. i should shut up . kk
i am not studying hard enough!
study study study!
you know, sometimes i always find myself wanting a fresh start. But we all know, that will never be possible. What is a fresh start to ? When everything is cleaned up? Every condition is perfect for me to work in ? Everything is prepared for me ? No, ,you me i all know that it will never be possible. All i can do is to improvise and work with what i have. A dirtied piece of A4 can not be cleaned up when scribbled with pen. Even though I try so hard to erase it with the liquid paper. I can never remove it. You can see the tapes and white liquid all over it. Wondering why my paper is dirtier than other;s and regretting that i dirtied it does not make my paper cleaner.
I want to quit trying to erase things i;ve done, and learn to work from where i am to where i will be. Eventually if I know how to work with a piece of paper, it can become beautiful art. That is, if i ever get out of worrying about dirtying my paper further and learning how to do origami. Currently , my not so best is to fold a piece of filter paper correctly... kk~~... hhh~
I want to be meaningful
Possibility of being quieter and more meaningful. : )
And OH ~!!!! i actually have not whacked anybody [really hard] /other than the exception of hitting daph and jas[ i;m sorry] softly,, in a few weeks !!!kk hhhh must be gentler! haha
what we could have been, 12:29 AM.
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
School was alright today
stress hasn;t kicked in yet
,, hh still not in a very studious mood yet.
i am so selfish right?
haha i only think about what i want
what i want
what i want
Selfish.
i should learn to keep quiet.
I am not pushing myself hard enough.
I need to learn from my two life role models man,
though they are my age, but they are definitely people of influence
they don;t know how powerful they are sometimes.
i wish they knew .
People wanting to be like you, is a great compliment.
Am i studying harder than yesterday, today?
hmmmmmmmmmm
stress hasn;t kicked in yet
,, hh still not in a very studious mood yet.
i am so selfish right?
haha i only think about what i want
what i want
what i want
Selfish.
i should learn to keep quiet.
I am not pushing myself hard enough.
I need to learn from my two life role models man,
though they are my age, but they are definitely people of influence
they don;t know how powerful they are sometimes.
i wish they knew .
People wanting to be like you, is a great compliment.
Am i studying harder than yesterday, today?
hmmmmmmmmmm
what we could have been, 8:04 AM.
Sunday, January 6, 2008
Dinner tonight with my family was really great, I don;t know why, but everyone;s mood was seemingly perfect . Even though it seemed to be a simple dinner, It seemed almost perfect.At least to me : ) Love having sisters.
I spent about two hours talking to a friend/acquaintance of mine. It was fun to sit and just listen and be heard. I was feeling really tired, and yet i don;t know why i kept on thinking/ was set thinking, even after the conversation.
To remind myself, the tone now is serious, sarcastic, solemn, i don;t know. just no t really the happy clappy or what so ever for now.
you know, honestly ,these few days, it;s been really difficult for me. Especially recently, I;ve been struggling with thoughts of the future, i think the only word which can describe how i really feel is insecurity. I;m so indecisive,, i don;t know what to do. so so insecure,,i think about my own abilities and i feel so limited. I think about the things i do and i feel so incompetent. You know, i am also thinking of changing my church. They always say that if you plant yourself in a church, you should stay there, but there are so many things i am considering about,! Like,, for example, i;ve been in this church for 3 years or so and i still don;t really feel part of it. Strange huh . After i was partially "threatened" that i would lose a friend cos i was curious about something, i actually felt like i was choking tears. Was it because ,one friend is all i have in such a big church like this? Sorry if i sound so negative@@ but then its driving me nuts,@!i wish i could stop thinking and feeling sometimes,, some days i wish i could just cut out my brain and heart and wash it .
stupid, if only i was more decisive like my Sisters.
Save me,,
My best friend says that i should trust Him. But sometimes i don;t even feel like i know my best friend altogether. Sometimes i feel like i am making what he feels up.When i do things, my best friends always come into my mind, and i always wonder what my best friends would think of me if i did something. Sometimes i feel like i am doing something to look good, makes me feel like a damned hypocrite. Sometimes the things i know about my best friend seems to be second hand information, like someone else has to tell me about it, and then i know. My best friend never seems to want to see me, i always try initiating , but,,, i feel like i am always receiving a cold shoulder.
My other best friend says that i should focus. He;s really nice to me, but then i know that he doesn;t know me well altogether. Neither do i .Thats the sad thing. I get a little upset when besties forget some things you say to them. sadly some of them don;t even make it a point to remember some of the things which you deem as important .. : (
My other good friend says that we are not as close, but when i saw my good friend, my good friend didn;t even seem happy to see me, even after not seeing each other for ages, good friend didn;t seem to care. Only talking to someone else they;ve already met a minute ago, : ( Am i too oversensitive? yes. But good friend;s body language showed me that goodfriend was disinterested in my existence there. good friend didn;t even face me to drop a hello.
You know, for me, i pay attention to the things that people say. I can remember the things that people tell me, Especially if they are sensitive issues. The sad thing is that people always come back asking the same thing. You know how it feels like sometimes? It feels like the other does not even find the importance of you telling them what you told them.Like what i say is not even important.
Why am i so different everywhere i am, When i am in church, in school, wheresoever.. Actually, i think i am different around different people. In church, i am a quiet introvert. In school i am a noisy annoying extrovert. At home, i am a frickin loner who talks to herself and gets really angst filled and angry with herself. With my family, i am like a happy noisy annoying girl who apparently gives them the "i am a shrieker and da jin xiao guai " feel. With people whom i feel that needs positivity or just happy clappy people, i am a hyperactive,childish and nice person who talks like THIS~~!~!!~!~~~~ ^_^. With new people, i act like i am some idiot talk with the world;s strangest and most annoying slang.Sometimes , With new people, depending on where i am, i act like some serious cat who refuses to talk. With the studious, i watch my language and make sure i do not make any error with my speech. With myself, i guess i ill-treat myself. Whatever, so on so fourth, With every situation,i feel like a whole other 1/100000000 of me comes out.
I really wish to establish a solid identity of my own. Does doing "This~~!~!@!~! kkkk" really make me who i am? No, i don;t think so! I don;t think it;s me, and from today onwards, i think i will reduce This!~~!~, Though i do think that it makes messages feel seemingly cold and just,, plain cold. But then if it makes people view me more seriously, then i think i will stop it.
Who ever asks me " what if you are not happy with the plan". No, they don;t bother , they only bother about the other person who is around,
, " i am afraid that X is tired". Who cares if i am tired? nobody.
so what if i placed my unhappiness here ? Do people actually bother to make the first move to improve the relationship? no, they only want to make it seem that i was the one who is overacting and being oversensitive. That;s not what i want, i just want people to be more aware of the things they see around them and then be more sensitive to the needs of others. You do not always have to get down to the root of Every complaint or thing or unhappiness, Sometimes you just have to move on from there and just make things better.
When your tree is growing crooked, you do not pluck it from the root and replant it so that it grows straight right? perhaps you work on it from the state it is in and then you tie some stick or something so that it will start to grow straight from there. Isn;t it ?
i;m so selfish ain;t i? keep on talking about myself. I I I .,, . .
I am giving myself three weeks, three weeks to get myself into the studying shape and three weeks to shed off that abhorrent weight i gained over the holidays and exams.Three weeks to figure out my Church problems, Three weeks to figure out my identity problems. Going to lay off the internet During weekdays .Altogether fifteen minutes for five days is my limit.
i hope that i can improve my situation
나는 정말 이상해요,,,,,,,
-0-.힘내자,,화이팅@!
I spent about two hours talking to a friend/acquaintance of mine. It was fun to sit and just listen and be heard. I was feeling really tired, and yet i don;t know why i kept on thinking/ was set thinking, even after the conversation.
To remind myself, the tone now is serious, sarcastic, solemn, i don;t know. just no t really the happy clappy or what so ever for now.
you know, honestly ,these few days, it;s been really difficult for me. Especially recently, I;ve been struggling with thoughts of the future, i think the only word which can describe how i really feel is insecurity. I;m so indecisive,, i don;t know what to do. so so insecure,,i think about my own abilities and i feel so limited. I think about the things i do and i feel so incompetent. You know, i am also thinking of changing my church. They always say that if you plant yourself in a church, you should stay there, but there are so many things i am considering about,! Like,, for example, i;ve been in this church for 3 years or so and i still don;t really feel part of it. Strange huh . After i was partially "threatened" that i would lose a friend cos i was curious about something, i actually felt like i was choking tears. Was it because ,one friend is all i have in such a big church like this? Sorry if i sound so negative@@ but then its driving me nuts,@!i wish i could stop thinking and feeling sometimes,, some days i wish i could just cut out my brain and heart and wash it .
stupid, if only i was more decisive like my Sisters.
Save me,,
My best friend says that i should trust Him. But sometimes i don;t even feel like i know my best friend altogether. Sometimes i feel like i am making what he feels up.When i do things, my best friends always come into my mind, and i always wonder what my best friends would think of me if i did something. Sometimes i feel like i am doing something to look good, makes me feel like a damned hypocrite. Sometimes the things i know about my best friend seems to be second hand information, like someone else has to tell me about it, and then i know. My best friend never seems to want to see me, i always try initiating , but,,, i feel like i am always receiving a cold shoulder.
My other best friend says that i should focus. He;s really nice to me, but then i know that he doesn;t know me well altogether. Neither do i .Thats the sad thing. I get a little upset when besties forget some things you say to them. sadly some of them don;t even make it a point to remember some of the things which you deem as important .. : (
My other good friend says that we are not as close, but when i saw my good friend, my good friend didn;t even seem happy to see me, even after not seeing each other for ages, good friend didn;t seem to care. Only talking to someone else they;ve already met a minute ago, : ( Am i too oversensitive? yes. But good friend;s body language showed me that goodfriend was disinterested in my existence there. good friend didn;t even face me to drop a hello.
You know, for me, i pay attention to the things that people say. I can remember the things that people tell me, Especially if they are sensitive issues. The sad thing is that people always come back asking the same thing. You know how it feels like sometimes? It feels like the other does not even find the importance of you telling them what you told them.Like what i say is not even important.
Why am i so different everywhere i am, When i am in church, in school, wheresoever.. Actually, i think i am different around different people. In church, i am a quiet introvert. In school i am a noisy annoying extrovert. At home, i am a frickin loner who talks to herself and gets really angst filled and angry with herself. With my family, i am like a happy noisy annoying girl who apparently gives them the "i am a shrieker and da jin xiao guai " feel. With people whom i feel that needs positivity or just happy clappy people, i am a hyperactive,childish and nice person who talks like THIS~~!~!!~!~~~~ ^_^. With new people, i act like i am some idiot talk with the world;s strangest and most annoying slang.Sometimes , With new people, depending on where i am, i act like some serious cat who refuses to talk. With the studious, i watch my language and make sure i do not make any error with my speech. With myself, i guess i ill-treat myself. Whatever, so on so fourth, With every situation,i feel like a whole other 1/100000000 of me comes out.
I really wish to establish a solid identity of my own. Does doing "This~~!~!@!~! kkkk" really make me who i am? No, i don;t think so! I don;t think it;s me, and from today onwards, i think i will reduce This!~~!~, Though i do think that it makes messages feel seemingly cold and just,, plain cold. But then if it makes people view me more seriously, then i think i will stop it.
Who ever asks me " what if you are not happy with the plan". No, they don;t bother , they only bother about the other person who is around,
, " i am afraid that X is tired". Who cares if i am tired? nobody.
so what if i placed my unhappiness here ? Do people actually bother to make the first move to improve the relationship? no, they only want to make it seem that i was the one who is overacting and being oversensitive. That;s not what i want, i just want people to be more aware of the things they see around them and then be more sensitive to the needs of others. You do not always have to get down to the root of Every complaint or thing or unhappiness, Sometimes you just have to move on from there and just make things better.
When your tree is growing crooked, you do not pluck it from the root and replant it so that it grows straight right? perhaps you work on it from the state it is in and then you tie some stick or something so that it will start to grow straight from there. Isn;t it ?
i;m so selfish ain;t i? keep on talking about myself. I I I .,, . .
I am giving myself three weeks, three weeks to get myself into the studying shape and three weeks to shed off that abhorrent weight i gained over the holidays and exams.Three weeks to figure out my Church problems, Three weeks to figure out my identity problems. Going to lay off the internet During weekdays .Altogether fifteen minutes for five days is my limit.
i hope that i can improve my situation
나는 정말 이상해요,,,,,,,
-0-.힘내자,,화이팅@!
Labels: About me
what we could have been, 7:03 AM.
Saturday, January 5, 2008
no one will give a shit lah anyway.
..............
SUCK-KEE.
..............
SUCK-KEE.
what we could have been, 9:02 AM.
Friday, January 4, 2008
my head is and was spinning like nuts today
i fell sick!haha,,, even though it felt terrible, some how i am able to talk nonstop, even though i told myself that i should be shutting up the entire day and let my throat rest. kkk
i feel damn giddy, like there are a thousand elephants stomping and rampaging around in my head.
school, i was late again.
every teacher is emphasizing on the fact that
Alevel year.blah.cannot play much.blah.blah.
the norm. you and i both know it
haha i should sound more delirious that this monotonous tone that i have on right now
when u are sick and alone, things are different.
i want, more understanding
i want, my brain to be filled up.
i want, neat work
i want to be smart.
and finally bigger eyes. the windows to my soul are far too small, makes me look [sianZzz]
or better still, a smaller face, Fatless cheeks
by the way, i committed a grave sin today
oh i sound too negative and sarcastic like this.
i fell sick!haha,,, even though it felt terrible, some how i am able to talk nonstop, even though i told myself that i should be shutting up the entire day and let my throat rest. kkk
i feel damn giddy, like there are a thousand elephants stomping and rampaging around in my head.
school, i was late again.
every teacher is emphasizing on the fact that
Alevel year.blah.cannot play much.blah.blah.
the norm. you and i both know it
haha i should sound more delirious that this monotonous tone that i have on right now
when u are sick and alone, things are different.
i want, more understanding
i want, my brain to be filled up.
i want, neat work
i want to be smart.
and finally bigger eyes. the windows to my soul are far too small, makes me look [sianZzz]
or better still, a smaller face, Fatless cheeks
by the way, i committed a grave sin today
oh i sound too negative and sarcastic like this.
what we could have been, 7:16 AM.
Thursday, January 3, 2008
Today was a rather good day.
Laughed a lot at school, haven;t done that in a long while.
The first test, math, was pretty ok, considering that the only math i did over the holidays was to convert NT to SGD. 21:1 while buying things, i did nothing else.
HAha anyway, today, sujing and i started the GEEK! CLUB and i believe it will be damn successful till the end of this year ! haha
mother nagged at me at 11:30 last night , saying that I shouldn;t be using the computer on a school day and nagging and nagging for me to study.
Study study study, it seems like that is all she ever asks me to do, and she asks me to do that in such an annoyed tone, makes me abhor sitting at my study table . I know that i can discipline myself to study when i wish to, and that she doesn;t have to nag at me to do it, but no matter how much i study or what, the nagging is still there, to study more.
Feels like a public good. i can;t be excluded and i can;t fight for it, not matter how much i pay for it by studying. i still receive the good. and trust me, the good comes in abundance .
and then you tell them thank you for the public good,, they refuse to take it back, ,and says "i just want you to study hard and get into university then can get good job then GOT MONEY"
,,,,hhhhhhhh typical~~~
do you mean that only when you are only seen studying all the time, that the good will stop being supplied? Does the demand for nagging only fall when you are CAUGHT IN THE ACT of studying?kkk
feels like it,,
oh well~ but then i shall study ~
perhaps i will not come online next weekDAY!. haha.
if only singapore had a river like that... kk
anyway~~~ 힘내자! ^_^
~~~
Laughed a lot at school, haven;t done that in a long while.
The first test, math, was pretty ok, considering that the only math i did over the holidays was to convert NT to SGD. 21:1 while buying things, i did nothing else.
HAha anyway, today, sujing and i started the GEEK! CLUB and i believe it will be damn successful till the end of this year ! haha
mother nagged at me at 11:30 last night , saying that I shouldn;t be using the computer on a school day and nagging and nagging for me to study.
Study study study, it seems like that is all she ever asks me to do, and she asks me to do that in such an annoyed tone, makes me abhor sitting at my study table . I know that i can discipline myself to study when i wish to, and that she doesn;t have to nag at me to do it, but no matter how much i study or what, the nagging is still there, to study more.
Feels like a public good. i can;t be excluded and i can;t fight for it, not matter how much i pay for it by studying. i still receive the good. and trust me, the good comes in abundance .
and then you tell them thank you for the public good,, they refuse to take it back, ,and says "i just want you to study hard and get into university then can get good job then GOT MONEY"
,,,,hhhhhhhh typical~~~
do you mean that only when you are only seen studying all the time, that the good will stop being supplied? Does the demand for nagging only fall when you are CAUGHT IN THE ACT of studying?kkk
feels like it,,
oh well~ but then i shall study ~
perhaps i will not come online next weekDAY!. haha.
if only singapore had a river like that... kk
anyway~~~ 힘내자! ^_^
~~~
what we could have been, 7:49 AM.
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
trying to study?
yes trying to study.
stupid?
yes stupid
unmotivated?
yes unmotivated
fat?
yes FAT.
Lazy?
EXTREMELY.
joyful?
oh the joy.
remember how i told you that i refrained from going out during the year so that i could stay home and study to try sustaining my pathetic C grades? yeh right i did! anddddddd ding ding ding! oh haillllll i cannot remember many the things i have studied like crazy for.
see, why people can remember and i cant... . .. nugget
OHHHHHHHHH LETS BLAME SOMEONE SHALL WE
"OHHHHHHHH I INHERITED THESE GENES."
-_- this is lame, i don;t blame my genes la.
eh why do people blame their parents and not God?
NOT THAT WE MUST BLAME GOD.
its just a thought.
aiyah.....................
Life is just like that.
ITs like this becuase i choose for it to be like that.
i chose it. i chose it becuase i chose it. why must i make so many reasons and excuses for it ?
haha i don;t know. keep thinking about my flaws.
stupid right, how one eye bigger than the other can destroy your mood.
or how you cant wear skinny jeans because it makes you look like you are trying to stand a pyramid the other way round.
Or how you cannot wear glasses because your head is too big for too many frames.
babo. why do people with almost none but one flaw start yapping awayyyyy infront of you and blame the person who gave them the GENES when you have flaws everywhere.
바보같해? YES BABO KAT HAEE!!!
IF I WAS IN A MORE RELAXED INSTITUTE.
OHHHHhhh i would have learned violin
OHHHHH i would have learned tonnes of languages
OHHHHHHH i would have learned piano.
OHHHHHHHH i would have learned painting
OHHHHHHHH i would have learned music theory.
OHHHHHHHHHHH i would have gotten braces!!
ohhh if it wasn;t for the fact that i am in this kind of institute that i could have gotten perfect teeth~!~ for i was too busy studying to sustain pathetic grades ,, too busy to pay a visit to the dentist once every month!
ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i would have done thiss
done that.
ohhhhhh
haha i could have blamed my dad for saying :" OH IF YOU DONT STUDY IN JC I WILL ~~~~ YOU"............. and ohhhhhhhh~!~ so i chose to be here , where i am now!!!
aiya. blame also get nothing out of it WHatttttttttttt.......................
i have whatever i have becuase i chose them .
trying to convince myself.
excuse the sarcasm .
i doub;t u understand#
yes trying to study.
stupid?
yes stupid
unmotivated?
yes unmotivated
fat?
yes FAT.
Lazy?
EXTREMELY.
joyful?
oh the joy.
remember how i told you that i refrained from going out during the year so that i could stay home and study to try sustaining my pathetic C grades? yeh right i did! anddddddd ding ding ding! oh haillllll i cannot remember many the things i have studied like crazy for.
see, why people can remember and i cant... . .. nugget
OHHHHHHHHH LETS BLAME SOMEONE SHALL WE
"OHHHHHHHH I INHERITED THESE GENES."
-_- this is lame, i don;t blame my genes la.
eh why do people blame their parents and not God?
NOT THAT WE MUST BLAME GOD.
its just a thought.
aiyah.....................
Life is just like that.
ITs like this becuase i choose for it to be like that.
i chose it. i chose it becuase i chose it. why must i make so many reasons and excuses for it ?
haha i don;t know. keep thinking about my flaws.
stupid right, how one eye bigger than the other can destroy your mood.
or how you cant wear skinny jeans because it makes you look like you are trying to stand a pyramid the other way round.
Or how you cannot wear glasses because your head is too big for too many frames.
babo. why do people with almost none but one flaw start yapping awayyyyy infront of you and blame the person who gave them the GENES when you have flaws everywhere.
바보같해? YES BABO KAT HAEE!!!
IF I WAS IN A MORE RELAXED INSTITUTE.
OHHHHhhh i would have learned violin
OHHHHH i would have learned tonnes of languages
OHHHHHHH i would have learned piano.
OHHHHHHHH i would have learned painting
OHHHHHHHH i would have learned music theory.
OHHHHHHHHHHH i would have gotten braces!!
ohhh if it wasn;t for the fact that i am in this kind of institute that i could have gotten perfect teeth~!~ for i was too busy studying to sustain pathetic grades ,, too busy to pay a visit to the dentist once every month!
ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i would have done thiss
done that.
ohhhhhh
haha i could have blamed my dad for saying :" OH IF YOU DONT STUDY IN JC I WILL ~~~~ YOU"............. and ohhhhhhhh~!~ so i chose to be here , where i am now!!!
aiya. blame also get nothing out of it WHatttttttttttt.......................
i have whatever i have becuase i chose them .
trying to convince myself.
excuse the sarcasm .
i doub;t u understand#
what we could have been, 6:33 AM.
이젠 이 노래 들어요ㅎㅎㅎㅎ ..
i;m listening to this song now~ lol,
but the sound quality is not very good tho..
First day of school, i was late!~~~ohhhh i wasted one chance ,,and as sj and i say, we have only 2 chances more to " spend" for the rest of the school year.. haha
gotta study for math test tomorrow,,,,
time flies,,, i wonder if i can take it, hhh.., we shall see ~~~
Yubin;s rap starts at 2.15~~!~ haha i just love the way she does it,,
One day, i will definitely be able to rap like that : ) ~
haha
what we could have been, 1:59 AM.
