one of my favs.

i don;t want to think
i don;t want to think
shut up and get lost in front of me.


shut up until you have something else to say to me
shut up until you think u can understand
get lost until you really want to help
Shut up about telling me what to do
shut up
shut up
Get lost until you;ve helped yourself.
get lost.
What is the point of me sacrificing so much when you don;t even see it
or you dont even appreciate one frickin bit?
wth
no wait, its not just you, its all of you
whats the point?


i hate feelings so much
why must people have feelings
why must negative feelings be so influential.
why must negative feelings exist then
why ?

thank you thoughts.
Thank you you in the future
thank you for the word you for it is such a useful word.

Relationships are so annoying
why is it important for kinship and friendship
why?
what about it f they just let you down all the time
or perhaps, they apparently cease to exist.


oh wait i forgot , its just something called a dreaded life.



for the next week, i shall just cease to exist.
thanks i can see that " oh its just too bad for you " on your " i; cant give a hoot about you anyway or i just feel sad for you " face
get lost, i don;t need your pity
shut up, i can live without your comments.


this week,
i want to be so busy that i cannot even bother about family matters
i want to laugh like i am not affected
i want to study like i am a genius
i want to work hard like an ant
i want to be like HER.
i don;t want to be like THEM
i will be like her.
i don;t want to care about your comments
i dont; want to care



wow i am so selfish, i keep thinking about what i want
but wait, aren;t you selfish too?
You just do whatever you want and you don;t even care about what others want
or what others really needed.
you guys never thought about the sacrifices made by other people
you guys are so selfish to live your own lives and exclude the people who really matter.

whatever.


i don;t want to bother to make an effort about this anymore

i bet u guys are so into your own lives that you don;lt even know anything
hh. i just knew it.








its good to be little ,both ways
its good to be ignorant
care so much for what, other people also don;t care what.
ah this is a selfish and childish view
so tiring.

ohhhhhhhh the conflict.







바보.

Today is 29th feb 2008
comes once in four years
Dj;s Bf;s bday.
He;s Eight Years old today .

today, had chem spa in the morning , and in the afternoon, all of us had a kind of civil defense demonstration. Though it was a slight waste of time, but it was damn funny !! haha XB had to perform CPR on a dummy . haha After that, all the girls headed down to JE to watch L: CHANGE THE WORLD!

hahahaha!we were damn kancheong can! we ran from the bus stop and separated ways to buy food and tickets. kept laughing while running. During the movie, there was a part whereby the guy [who was rotting due to a virus] suddenly Appeared on the window, Sharon suddenly muttered " wahlao!" .hahahaha damn funny, it was supposed to be quite sad cos the girl was watching her dad rot [ ok, die] in front of her very eyes, but i was laughing -_- haha

the movie is alright, i;ll rate it 3/5 ,, About these group of scientists who are seemingly in favor of Human extinction. kkk .. the story plot is slightly predictable and its a little too impossible to occur. considering the high velocity of the plane , i didn;t think that L could have stopped it from just crashing through the building.



Anyway! after the movie, all of us headed to the ICESKATING RINK, to play with the machine there. Yes we played PHOTOHUNT. damn fun lah! played about 12 rounds of it ,and ihad to return home. haha its really fun! They continued playing after i left, and they got the highscore!! YES their highscore name is called JJPULLOVER

hehe.
its damn fun wanna hang out just us girls again!! sometime soon, : ) hh























---------------
on a totally irrelavent note
My thoughts just haunted me again
짜증난다...
Where are the closest people whom you need the most , when you need them!
Nope ,they don;t even give a care






i don;t want to think
i don;t want to feel.
i def donlt wanna be like her!






구해줘@.. . . . .........................................................
너무 신경쓰지마@






i want,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
someone to talk to ,
a hug from someone bigger in size than me,
and a proper meal cooked from the heart.
a warm bowl of soup
not to feel.

my sis says that we study science , though it may be of no relevance to our future careers is because the study of science sharpens one;s mind,.
Apparently mine is seemingly pretty blunt still.

dad says that we have to be educated because musclepower


study cos you wanna glorify
study cos you don;t want to suffer
study cos you need to survive.
study cos you are not one of those who can depend on your looks to get money : )
ahaha not fair right, just because someone lets you take their picture, they get tonnes of money for it ,, k kk k


i have to survive lah,
Survival mechanisms,.. .. ... hmmm
Gp ,i fear writing essays now you know,.


university entrance exam,
after university, we will never study like this anymore
and other stress such as
INCOMETAX
INFLATION
FAMILY
IAMOLDANDNOTATTACHEDYET!
TAX
EXPENSES
ADULTFARE
CHILDREN
MARITALPROBLEMS
HEALTH.
WEIGHT G/L
WORKPLACE POLITICS
HOUSING
blah. blah blah.

will definitely come into place

haha makes being a student sound really good huh!


haha,
i don;t want to think about being left out
i don;t want to think about " i can;t do it"
i should just be thinking about Physics now,.

i loved physics, i am loving physics and i will continue to love physics. haha
i will LOVE ECONS: ) < TRIES REALLY HARD : ) am still trying now : ) kkkk.





oh~ i cannot WAIT for saturday : )
시간이 너무 빨리 지나가네~
화이팅~~~!


알아븅~
i am starting to feel that my school is not so bad after all ; ;kk~

LISTEN CLICK HERE


study study study !!

i am glad that things changed in school
i;m not so prejudiced against it and
clique of friends have changed, not that really, but just that i am spending more time in classrooms .




i would have been more decisive if i had more faith
if i believed strongly.
but no , i don;t.




i;m just tired of being backupgirl.
i;m just here for you when you need my help
at the end of the day, people just happily wash their hands off everything and leave.
i don;t have as much SPARE time as you,
i can;t just HEY LETS GO OUT TODAY and i;ll go out.
and if i don;t stick to the things i do now, things would go way out of hand


i am so sick of coming home to the " i am so miserable face , and then its ok i shall keep everything to myself lorh"

i am so sick of " ok i am just not coming home today or i shall just leave later"


i don;t like it when people say i look stressed
i am not.

i just don;t want to bother anymore,
i don;t want to bother about which church to be rooted into,
i don;t want to bother about " oh my friends are treating me this way"
i don;t want to bother about " ohhhhh my ...
i don;t want to bother about " i am so sad"
i don;t want to bother about " i am so limited by my ability"
i don;t want to bother about my feelings
i don;t want to care.
if i didn;t bother to bother about all tohse things, i would have saved myself a hell lot of time.



i don;t want to think about it anymore.
i dont; want to think....................... .. . about all these things anymore
i just wanna study.








get me out of this state
get me out of this physical state
get me out of this mental state
get me out!
let me out.




for this week, i just want to think during lectures.
thing about it is that i am always listening, but nothing stays permanently




너진짜 바보.



너무 신경쓰지마.
아자아자 화이팅!!!




power POWER power
from my fav song from DBSK

[최강] You! got the Power! 바로잡을 수가 있는 힘을
넌 허비하지 말고 좀 더 인간적인 얘기들을 비춰야 돼
[시아] I don't know, why hate this moment.
사람들은 재미없다고 하지 않는데 Why you tell me Lies..

Let me return back to the time when i first entered JJ.C.

Of course, considering that i didn;t spend my first three months there, i was already beginning to compare standards from the moment i entered the school grounds. I hated the way the talks were held and i hated the school buildings, disliked this, disliked that. . . I was critical and i was criticizing almost every aspect. What made me dislike it even more was the fact that the student leaders were really high and screaming and cheering, TO EACH OTHER in a very high and uncanny manner. I felt embarrassed for them. But to them, the leaders, they didn;t seem to care about whether they looked crazy or high.


I wanted to test if it was true that introverts or rather, those who refused to speak [ stereotyped as the EMOKIAS , which i personally think is a wrong category], would get left out. Or so to say, to see if they only cared about the people who bothered to get high in the first place.

I refused to cheer, only simply because i felt that it was meaningless, i felt that " hey this is so wrong, do you mean that you will only be part of the IN crowd or be accepted if you are one of the people who cheered and get HIGH ? " and because in the first place, all the talk between the leaders were just " hey the members don't seem to get high at all " i even remembered one of my ogl;s crying on the night saying that " at first, when i see u all, u all refused to get high, then i .......... "


get high get high, was all they seemed to care about. And to top it off, perhaps the second intake leaders were not as experienced and some of them just went off to play with their friends. I hated the games cuz i couldn;t understand how come they won;t even bother playing a simple game with integrity, their concept was winning or loosing, still cheer , cus thats character! But i couldn;t understand why i should have bothered crawling high up and low and run around just to attain some water bombs , which i could have just gotten from the sides of the track. During the night games, it seemed like only the leaders were the ones running about , expecting us to follow them. I didn;t like it. what was the purpose?


I couldn;t understand how a few people could get together and look silly together,.
I couldn;t understand how a few people could get so high just shouting a few phrases of ohhhh i am so gonna win
i was determined never to do such things As I felt as if they only cared about the high members and left the emokias alone. I vowed that if i were to be a leader, i would want to make the emokia members not feel left out. And also, i thought that i would never want to cheer.
i was wrong.

I signed up for the YOG with SQ a few days back, maybe i was under duress of my situation , thats why i did it, but i don;t regret it one bit!It was great!!! If one didn;t cheer, one would be oddly out of place. I now understand how one can truly enjoy oneself. Since one is there and in that situation, you might as well participate, put one;s discomforts aside, enroll yourself into that activity, look silly and then you will definitely enjoy yourself. I was standing at the last corner and it was strange because some people from a certain other college were just sitting there and staring us.-_- But we just did our stuff, haha and majority of the crowd were actually cheering along with us!! haha it was really great! At the end of the event, all the leaders crowded onto the stage and street following the fruity apple and PEARlyn in a series of simultaneously simple, silly actions to the beat of the music. First time dancing on THE ROAD lei...haha. We danced for about an hour or so. To end off the night, all of us gathered together and sang the song HOME.

I feel really proud to be S|ngaporean, winning the bid is just great! haha.

and of course, the experience of being a jayjay leader is also great! Cheering regardless of whatever is really part of one;s character.. The thing about being part of this team, is that really, everyone is supportive of each other, and everyone truly wants everyone else be enrolled into the game, the situation and the action and to truly enjoy themselves.



my dad is so funny, he sent me a text this morning saying " :-) hoolay, k33 main hoola team for sin. Y0u+th olymp|c"

hahahaha..........


in JJ now? Be a leader!




haha sharon is so funny and gentle.
she does things in such a serene manner, wow. haha
i played the song " rehab" on her cellphone during a break,
Wineh0use sings ~" they tried to make me go for rehab but " sharon says " NO,,~~ no ~ no~~~"

hahaha~


study study~~~

Labels: school;

At this age of 18, when one is either happily and stupidly getting drunk with alcohol cos OH I:M FINALLY LEGAL [ but who really cares. ] and the other would be studying crazily for alevels, other exams , what so and what not.

So , as part of being 18, we all have to start thinking of our career paths. Being brought up in this education system,everything feels so one way. Either you do this, or you do that. For me, i don;t dream much, neither did i dream. All i remembered was that, being young, i wanted to be a hair dresser when i grew up , so that i didn;t need to study[ thats what i thought] . My mother scolded me. haha. I was naive then, of course, things change.

So as part of being 18, people tell you about future job prospects, the government tells you what they are going to spend their budget on and people think that this and that job will be HOT next time, and oh i should take it. For me, i just wish to do well and then decide later. Oh i know, i am so not future sighted, but all i know is that i want a good job and i will study hard. For me, i would loves something like, HEY this is lkk, the lawyer.


Haha, but is one destined to be something else? We do not know. What one may like may not be what one may become. So , to choose the future prospects and aid us in finding suitable jobs for ourselves,, according to our abilities , talents, personalities and character. The school decided to give us a number of aptitude tests .

difference between behavior ., character and personality.

Behavior is superficial and comes through training. It is a channel through which a man expresses himself. The energies for behavior come from the vital emotions, whereas the energies for character come from the mind. The vital energies are short-lived responses to a situation. The ordinary man who is popular with everyone behaves well, has polite manners and does not criticize anyone. He is very presentable in society. But if this is where his growth has stopped, he cannot accomplish anything in the ordinary sense of the word

Personality is deeper than character. It does not confine itself to an organized expression as character does. Character needs the support of the social and psychological milieu. . Personality cannot be centered in the mind. It does not care whether anyone else has attempted a certain work before. It has the initiative to start a fresh work in a new field.

When a person has developed character, he can accomplish something by himself. Character is organized in the mind. It has a memory and never forgets. When the essence of the vital experience which is behavior is received in the mind and organized well so that the mind accepts that as its central direction, then it becomes character.

and today, we did one, Mine obviously says that i am extroverted. This , the blind can even tell about me because they can know by hearing. I have to say that a portion of what it said about me is true , and the rest is just plain --. I am now devastated by what they said about my future job prospects. lets see. ~therapist, ~counselor, ~social worker, ~ manager and ~ assistant and ~ clerk and mentioned Nothing else!!

Jobs which i like or want to do, belong to none of the above!
if i choose one of those which suits me, but its something which i do not like, then what will happen to me ? ? ? ? ? T.T




haha, this is when i will feint ignorance and pretend that i do not know anything.
This is also what happens when you think too much, you make yourself feel so [zi xiang mao dun] .. . . i;m skeptical i know. Can one's personality be changed? If so, i want to change.




haha, putting this devastating piece of news for me - aside,
Sharon has been really nice by giving me hugs : ) i am so happy when i get hugs, its free and it makes you happy,. haha~

Physics spa was alright, though i literally panicked when i thought that ten minutes was left and i was slamming my fingers on the calculator, hoping the next number up would be something other than a ZERO [which is obviously the wrong answer]. Apparently i was wrong, there were about 20 minutes left. Thank God i managed to finish writing all the errors and improvements, though, my hands were shivering quite badly and i was writing letters so fast that my words looked like Tamil.


I had a bad dream last night, in my mind, i was thinking through the things i memorized " the T and the T ..... " and i couldn;t continue. These 5 words kept repeating in my mind, and i dreamt that i was trying to repeat the five words to the bespectacled acquaintance . i am glad i woke up and managed to move on with more than five words.

haha i feel much better as compared to the last few weeks, At least now i am back to entertaining myself, i know how to laugh to myself again, but dear me, i am distracted -0-. When i couldn;t entertain myself, i was so focused.


wanting two things at once cannot get you both things at once.





***********
At this point of time, please tell me what to do ?
구해줘 .@

I:M REALLY HAPPY: )
and totally random




haha
doesn;t the song on my blog just make you smile ? : )
even though benren is being very emokia , when benren listen to the song, benren also feels better: ) kk
i;m really thankful for those people who always make me smile,..hh thanks for the effort ~ kk
kkk


i met a group of young koreans at church on Saturday : )
and boy did all the boys look , or should i say, look the same.
hahahhaaha
i think i will just recount the story some other time



for the meanwhile, everyone is just leaving , leaving to return to their countries, and leaving to go abroad back to their universities. my cousins, and my friends. To my dearest christine, take care back there!

hh i wish that one day i will get an opportunity to go overseas and study!




its back to the school life tomorrow,
say hello to my tys that has been left untouched and unwritten on for one year.
hello university in a few months time : )@



suddenly, i dread econs
but i will choose to love it.


haha i feel so much better as compared to 5 days ago? ? kkk
feel happy for me please! :" )



i wanna travel!
and i wanna study
i wanna play : ) i wanna write
i don;t ever want to feel jealous.
sometimes its so inevitable that you feel jealous when you see someone else having what you don;t have.
BUT its ok~! i will get it one day!


Identities are important, hence even organic compounds have identity tests.
Even though aromatic aldehyes and alipatic aldehydes are both aldehydes, you can tell apart their identities through Fehling's solution. kkkikikk


i want to be Constant in the way i speak.
kik




i don;t need some people giving me the OH I AM SO DISAPPOINTED WITH YOU look whenever i step into the chuch building.
and the,, " ohhhhh i am just pretending to be interested" when i see them ,. nope i def do not need it. and the I CAN:T EVEN BE BOTHERED TO TALK TO YOU EVEN THO THE LAST TIME I SAW YOU WAS XYZ AND I SHANT BOTHER TO ASK ANYWAY CUZ you are not AS popular or oh so good looking or OH SO SOCIABLE as compared to the person next to me. yup i don;t even give a care, cuz you guys are just proving to me that you are so superficial.,

kik i don;t need all these.
i don;t even bother or care, i am just so used to it already, its so cliche, it happens every time and over the past 4 years, that i shan't even be bothered ,even if this may be the wrong attitude, but it just seems to me that yup, its always the case. i won;t bother if u are ohhhhhhh so disappointed with me cuz ,, my eyes are only focused on one thing now, , kkkk . i don;t really give a care anymore. All these while, i am just an addition to numbers anyway . kk but it doesn;t matter to me,.


the survival of the fittest. But in reality, "Fittest" seems to refer to not to physical fitness, but referred to looks, the exterior and everything else superficial. Its not supposed to be this way there, but it feels like it is.




acceptance? hhh,,
i want to laugh.







its ok~~
힘내자~!

It;s valentines day today~

naturally, it means , flowers, balloons, CHOCOLATES! sweets, candies, gifts and of course, the greatest of all, LOVE!
Valentines day, what is it all about? to let your loved ones or friends know that you care love respect , admire them. ? ?

hmmmmmm

so anyway,


flowers : )


When the first period begun , everyone in class [ actually all the girls only - _ - ] begin to give out valentine;s day presents! lol i thought that since people put so much effort in wrapping, thinking through gifts and giving gifts, i had to remember them, haha, and people can be damn creative i tell you. kk

Jasmine gave out fortune cookies, inside was some words of wisdom about love.
ahha


mine says, live in peace and harmony.


presents! haha

here comes gwens famous cookies LOL.
she pasted some random pictures on the front of the bag [ which looks oddly familiar, i remember seeing them every friday in the chemistry lab : ) ] haha this time its not with shiny crystalline crystals /powder. but its filled with cookies! LOL


the cookie, looks scandalous.



the front!! hahahah!!!scandalous X 2............

damn funny la!

hmm i received a great deal of chocolate!! i feel so loved!! thanks siqian!! your gift is really thoughtful,, kkk i really appreciate the generosity of everyone, seeing people being generous to spread the love through gifts , ius really heartwarming,, kkk

o and thanks LJie for your sunflower/daisy < ? > i can;t differentiate , but its really pretty! and it made me smile : ) thank youuuuuuuuuuuuu~








anyway some random pics i took in class this week .. kk




twin backs

sons of ongs

sister ong and hiding huilian.

BABY HUILIAN! HAHA~~~ ^_^





kkk,,,~~
anyway happy valentines day~~

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preserves."
-- 1 Corinthians 13:4-7








ok, so here are a few thoughts i have had.
During GP today, we were asked, Why do people blog?
hmm, i thought hard about it,

i guess people blog because, you have friends who are not with you all over the time, and sometimes you really want your friends to know how you really feel, or what you have went through recently, something minor, hmm. ok i know maybe writing a letter,calling, smsing wtv, is more direct , but if u were to ask me to inform what happened to all my -not around me friends- personally by these mediums, i think it would sound pretty inane.

if you can;t be bothered to find out about how your friend is doing, or how your friend;s mind works,,, then just choose not to read their blogs.As Simple as that.,~

hmm maybe, they just want to share something interesting,

or maybe, for me, its that i like writing, thats all,
hmm and typing is wayyyyy easier than just writing, cuz you can just backspace and recollect your thoughts at your own pace.

yeah,
and my dad may say this
" you do something cos " you like what." " .
with this answer, you can avoid explanation .

the other day, sis and i was offered this bag of chips .
The flavor was " sour cream and onion''
she said " it tastes like our relationship."
kk clever [ personification or metaphor? ? idk]
anyway....

.. sour relationships..
. what exactly makes relationships sour? what gives flavor to a relationship ?what causes a relationship to be bitter. Fights , quarrels or cold shoulders?
Some say that friction in relationships can make people come closer . Does friction light up a relationship again by making one appreciate the other? . . . Or does it make one feel bitter ?
i guess its; all..


i wonder why people choose to give the cold shoulder after quarrels. Giving the cold shoulder is not a win win solution in the first place. makes the other person feel bad. Makes it difficult to do things esp if u must interact with the person on a daily basis. Sigh,, cold shoulders. it sucks big time.



hmmm

its so strange these few days,
i;m more serious, i guess.
i am less distracted, but my mind is not as cheerful as it used to be
I used to be able to replay an old joke i had, recorded in my mind and laugh crazily to myself. Even during lectures when the teacher is talking or even if i sat alone some where , on the bus, i could laugh crazily to myself. . . . These weeks., it has been different, it seemed to have ceased. I stop laughing to myself...

I used to talk to myself and now i barely say half a sentence.


Previously i was so distracted laugh and thinking what not. and now it feels as if i am losing part of my cheerful mind. I stopped laughing so easily, i stopped smiling insanely to myself. Is this good? the benefit is that i am more focused and less distracted.. but whenever i talk to my some of my friends, it just feels so different .I think that some of them can feel it,, and its made things so strange between me and them. Strange. .

perhaps its because people change, I am just changing.
just perhaps... for now, i;ll let nature take its course.

Be Silly. Be honest. Be kind.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

No one has a right to sit down and feel hopeless. There's too much work to do.

Dorothy Day

메롱@@~~

school today?
not bad.
sharon is funny
she passes YH;s cellphone under the table and whispers " hey , pass this to yh"
i took the cellphone from under the table and passed it directly to nel, hands on the desk.
funny.







bad choices.
bad choices.
bad choices

i made a bad choice to get angry,
i made a bad choice to not sit straight
i made a bad choice to not be straight
i made a bad choice to have my current behavior
i made a bad choice to look terrible
i made a bad choice to live here.
i made a bad choice not to have done anything then
I made a bad choice to come online with such a "monotonous mood" today
they made a bad choice.
He can;t make a bad choice .
I;m not from Missouri
i made bad choices.
net choice = bad


good grief, i made a bad choice to blame bad choices.
its me, me me, yup

its ok,
let me make a good choice and listen to JjoYo jjoyo now,
it makes me smile, hhh



die lahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
i don;t smile as easily as i did before,
i don;t laugh as easily as i did before,

control. control, control.

how do you make the right choice?
how am i supposed to choose
and plus its about the same thing,
ohhhhhhh my god;
i need help badly
and nooooooooooo one , not even people close to me are offering any help.

who do you call?
Jerem|ah 33:3?
i don;t know.

i freaking don;t know


in the morning,

M was 3834ing,
most nonsensical argument ever
she then said to me that i shouldn;t ask her
" why are you so angry"
instead, i should have asked
" are you angry? "
-_-
first thing this morning, i asked
" whyare you so angry"
she blasted at me saying " IM NOT ANGRY!"
i almost died of shock.
she then mumbled stuff like
" cannot feel what i want to feel, i;m expressing my feelings what, also wrong, wake u up also wrong, never wake u up also wrong" and so on and so fourth.wtf X 1
notice the colourings,
i;ve never said anything close to them before
i;ve never suppressed you from feeling before
if i really did, i wouldn;t even have allowed you to scream at me for no reason this morning,

everyday ,the same few questions never fail to run through my mind
when i post these questions, people simply answer, isn;t there good enough evidence?
or i just end up with more questions, kkkk

but its ok, i have a feeling that i won;t lose my memory so fast when i am older,<" TERRIBLE LIE."> since i am always thinking about nonsensical things. lol


To me,
tangible evidence is just lacking,
not that i am blind or anything.
though it is quite evident.
Perhaps i am just so resistant to some things,
oh wait, no, i think that i am just too indecisive. or perhaps i am too easily convinced.

People need to have strong beliefs man, doesn't mess them up so easily;



sometimes its quite disappointing to see that someone whom you trust does something which you never thought they will do, however you and i know that people change for the better, so i guess thats what that really matters.

sometimes, i just think that i am investing my time in the wrong things, like something temporal. my friend says that its impossible to invest your time in the wrong things because some way or another, it will help you. when you invest your time and stuff, it comes with sacrifice sometimes,, ohhhhhh.

sometimes it sucks when people don;t appreciate another;s sacrifice. or perhaps, isn;t even aware of the sacrifice.

sometimes, when one doesn;t have a dream;one simply helps others to achieve their dream, the feeling can be quite satisfactory. However, not as satisfying as compared to when you achieve your own.


sometimes its so fun to study.

sometimes it feels good to feel studious : )

sometimes, i;m just too distracted.


sorry if i hiding the real meaning of what i wanna say in words. . ..
i don;t mention them questions, or everything is just vague.
its just that i don;t want my confusion to stop / to confuse/conflict with what other people know or believe

hh don;t think too much about it,
study!!^
힘내자!

babo?
yeah
haha



happy cny!
hong bao many many
blessings abundant
andddddddddddd
chocolate many^100000~!!!!!!!!!
heiheihei

this cny, BMI, sure cmi.

" 엄마, 화내지마."
"화내지마 ..화내지마... "
엄머,,너 왜 그렇게 화났어 ? ? ??

"나 홰내지 않아!!!!!!!!!!!! " -_-
정말이상해..

" don;t be angry,,, don;t be angry". . i keep on saying this phrase these few days..
and sometimes, people just love to deny themselves..

" I AM NOT ANGRY LA! JUST EXPRESS MY OWN FEELING CANNOT IS IT ?!" she exclaims.



so if thats was not angry, then what is? why do you love to deny that you are angry and then blame me saying that i am supressing you from your " freedom of expression" when what i did was merely to say" don;t angry lah. " and then they start pissing off like the whole world owes them something .. : (




anger.. . ..feels like the In feeling this week.
mom's angry about everything.
Angry angry angry.
i don;t understand, how angry can u get by just reminding or asking someone to do a task for you



mom wants me to help her with some stitching stuff. She couldn;t find the stupid "cai" thing. And got irritated, and started throwing a small fit, i said " so angry for what,. .. . " and then she goes around saying that i stop her from her freedom of expression.



나한테 덮어씌우지 마.@@@!
Stop taking your anger out on me.~!~! ㅠㅅㅠ! 너무 스트래스!


The most annoying thing is that , something happens, you interpret it wrongly and make some story out of it, and you actually Deceive yourself and believe your own story! and its totally not true! and then you are so bitter and angry about it.i tell you a thousand times that its not true and that you are lying to yourself,, and u still go like " no lah!!!" and believe your stories.... and you make everyone around you so pek cek. ._. . i wish you would believe me more.



,,,,,,,,,
to get a problem solved,does throwing your weight around can get things done? If u want me to clean up the house, do you think that by being angry and starting throwing a BF<>will make the house cleaner? do you think i will even feel like cleaning up the house after you start throwing your weight around ? NO!cant you just ask me to do something , nicer? i mean things can be solved and you and i don;t have to angry abot it what.. Kick kat theory. 0_0



Sigh;; i really wish that m0m will let go of some anger and not get a fit so often , makes living too difficult for me,, and its truly, really, 짜증나.




one more thing
i don;t like people to TELL ME when to study, and
i don;t like people to teach me how to talk, and especially ask me to LIE about something which i refuse to ! and some more tries to teach me how to lie and talk. Excuis me , i no what a lie is ok.
" you go tell him that bla blah blah"
when its against my values, i tell you that i won;t do it, you threaten me by getting angry.


-,.-
성가시잖아.


정말 너무 이상하다





,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
~~~~~에게.
,,너 나한테 화났니?
보고싶은 너
그냥 너를 생각해~~
보고파~보고파~보고파~보고파~보고파~보고파~보고파~보고파~~~
-------------------
나는 왜 이세상에 존재하는가? .



school.
lets study
him nae!! two days only : )

*some pictures were coloured, drawn on for cover up/drama purposes/


WOW! today was one of the best days of the year!!
Firstly, its because ALL the test and stupid stuff ended today. and that next week is only a TWO DAY SCHOOL WEEK!! [ cos Wednesday is supposedly a slack a.k.a a pon DAY ;; unless we decide to go to school to LAU YU SHENG.] Anyway its the best so far because there is a feeling of sudden release!! like its the holidays! you know waddim sayin? haha


so ,,,,~! what have the last week been about?


EXHAUSTION





Strenuous brain exercises.




Banishment to the back of the classroom by bob the builder




Passionate Teaching

bob the builder Mr chua

The reason for joining MLFC

Idol says " so your FREN owe u money" hahaha





haha Gwendorous quotes S.H. .
" WHERE IS YOUR TYS. WHO DIDN:T BRING"
LOL



haha basically it has been pretty hectic.
Lab today was fun and i ended up using 8 conical flasks [ the required was FOUR]
i looked for the lab technician thrice and on the third time, he gave me an extra saying " just in case ah" . At the end of the lab,ms lim funnily said " wow~! so many flasks!" hahaha PS the idol pinched my cheek today! hahahaha! * i shall never wash my cheek again!!! [ like real -_-!]

A. The bell had rung and some indicating the beginning of our chem lecture. Our class was still in the lab and some of use were still trying to SCRAPE! the paper for as much Products as possible, it was really funny as within seconds, the class was turned on to hyperspeed and everyone chionged to the lecture theatre. lol i was laughing like some psycho all the way. lol


Daph says that after chinese new year, indeed we are heading straight for the hells;
haha how true , we are all expecting that to happen pretty soon,, hhhh Right now , i hope to not think so much and enjoy my time now/ CNY, and after chinese new year i hope to be recharged for everything! haha : )







ANYWAY~~~


Today i met up with my galpals to celebrate our dearest CHRISTINE;s Birthday!!@@

happy birthday Baboon! hahaha
And this year is our twelth year knowing each other :O !!!!




my bestie stephanie!~!!! and her renown ^^V!

: ) ~! hhh



the crystal eyed siqian! haha



We had dinner at Swenson's and Stef;s friend joined us.
dinner was really great! we talked about eVerything~!! and it was damn funny!! lol
It is really great to hang out with old friends and just have nothing to hide at all!
HAha christine tried to traumatize me with an old photo of ours.


hhhhhh her part of the "traumatizing " pic.

haha! she obviously became gorgeous.

one joke of the day.
"****, shut up before i scrape off your mole" - MAW.
HHAHA~!!!!!!

anyway~~~ i really luved it! i came home really tired, i was at the wrong bus stop twice -0-. Ended up TRAINING back home -0-. but it's worth it. haha

walked around paragon to wait for Christine;s bf andddd
tried out some make up at this store.. The nice lighting at the store makes our skin look so flawless~!! oh~ haha!



flawless skin. lol

Happy birthday christine!! :
happy going to U
Happy 12 years : )

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