the weekend has been a rather relaxed one,
the whole Saturday was spent in school for training, at chuch for service ,and finally at dad;s for dinner.
Sometimes in the presence of dad, i feel speechless , i hope this type of situation will not repeat itself often. It makes me sad.
sunday, today, ttion in the morning, followed by an afternoon of rest and evening with dinner.
Everything was really great, after dinner , we sat by the dining table helping mom to sew some of her 194 pieces to be sewn , ribbon embellishments. it was quite fun, mom seemed pretty happy. Honestly, she hasen;t been happy for quite a while [years i think ] , even though she is happy, she forgets it instantly the next day. Nowadays when i ask her questions, she gets a little bit touchy and sensitive... . id on;t know, i guess its just stress
mom came home really angry, its so ironic, every time she exits happy and enters upset . Her mood always affects mine, usually i come online to sort my thoughts out. The feeling is really great when people take the initiative to pm you. I;m always the one pm-ing some one else instead. Everyone else is only concerned about what they feel and not about others. Everyone else won;t bother to find out your name unless they really need your help. Today i really
needed to find someone to talk to, and you know what, none of my bestfriends even
bothered. none.
my best friends ditched me cos they found my other best friends
my best friend ditched me cos they;ve found that i cannot benefit them anymore
honestly, i don;t really like talking sometimes. People often take your outgoing personality for granted and think that you can take jokes like other outgoing people. I;m not like that. Doesn;t mean that i am outgoing and stuff i am ok with you making FAT jokes about me, i don;t laugh about my weight so easily. I don;t find your humor funny at all. Most of the time i appear outgoing because i feel that the situation needs me to be so. Usually when the other person is talkative, i would just listen to the person, its nice to hear someone;s voice other than my own for once. i oo and ahh cos sometimes the situation would be weird if it was all quiet. I participate so that the person wouldn;t be talking to a wall, i engage so that people would feel appreciate. I don;t do all these to be insulted at.[ which is what peoeple always flippin do] .I talk in a high pitched manner so that i can add and bring frequency to the already monotonous things around, and not so that i can be joked upon at. I am not aunty and i don;t find it funny that you joke about me being one.
Call me a non humorous person , call me someone who is oversensitive. I am oversensitive and i am not denying it, but at least i am not insensitive.
and talking in a louder voice so that the other person would shut up, does not make things better
to make a stubborn person shut up,
let them listen to what they want to hear in a softer tone.
i begin to forget.
feelings., just leave me..
what we could have been, 8:52 AM.