Tuesday, April 1, 2008
i almost forgot how much i liked this song.
i don;t persevere as much as i did before.
i don;t put my heart into things i did as much before.
all because i was afraid to lose something else.
you were like a conscience and i could listen to you
and just like this, i could forget why i did whatever i did.
i was living in my own mind, a world which i created and imagined of my own.
It was lame, it was stupid and i didn;t even care even if i thought that way about it .
i didn;t think and do things that were practical to my own situations.
all i know is,, i invested my time and my feelings in the wrong things. No, minor correction, its not invested, its wasted.
Right then i knew that i was heading the wrong direction, i knew i was doing something wrong ,but i let my selfish desires and wants get to me, i told myself that i would work doubly hard to cover up for what i did, to pay back for whatever i did. All so that i could continue to get what i wanted.
At the end of the day, something i want to hold on to seems to be slipping out of my hands even faster than i imagined.
i don;t know if its my mind telling me how i should feel , or its my heart really feeling like this. I wonder if i am sad just because my mind tells me " this is something to be sad about, so you should be sad". I hope it;s the latter because i don;t want to be heartless. Thanks i know i contradict myself when i said that i wanted to lose my feelings.
The problem with me , i want too many things at one go.
i was too selfish and greedy.
Please erase me clean.
i;m so pathetic.
Nevermind, feelings aside, i shall abandon this chapter of my life once again.
yeah i am going to change a blog soon. Not that i can entirely forget what i have done here, but i want a new beginning.
School;s ok, its been fun OBSERVING with sharon lol. Listen to the squeals about maxel and droning voices of lecturers. Lessons are really fun packed man, we get tonnes of knowledge that CAN be processed in our minds. Sadly only a small percent actually goes in. lol
today is april fools.
i was pranked by gwendo;s wasabi collon biscuit -0-@
i saw the box and went " hey can i have one ".
gwen kinda enthusiastically said to hning " KK WANTS ONE" .
quite obvious lah..
i popped one into my mouth and then next moment i knew, there was this strange sensation in my mouth .
lol, after school, sharon and i pranked jian.w3n with the last collon. lol/
i;ve been mugging with sharon in the library for the past week. Honestly , its quite fun , we observe other people and we study at the same time. Studying has become rather fruitful and fun with a companion : ).
thanks my muggingfriend, i;m so glad to have found you.
You know its just too little too late.
what we could have been, 6:12 AM.
