Friday, July 25, 2008
As if the world does not have enough problems on its own .
Like Societies do not have enough problems on its own,
Like individuals do not have their own things to deal with
ok so i am going to paint many different pictures here
like great artists, sometimes you don;t even know what the significant of the picture is,
sometimes its strange how a picture with just a stroke of a brush with thick layers of paint can fetch you so much money and , oh , the title of a great artist
of course, mine would be just lame, i try to make mine look complicated right, yeah, sorry if i screwed up the bottom of the painting , i decided to draw randomly after a while cos i just realized that everything seems to be so incomplete. yeah, horrible, after i finished painting the raindrops, i realised that i couldn;t draw a the woman holding the umbrella.
haha, i really do not know if i actually have a perpetual problem.
huge contradiction to the stupid blog link of mine
Hate it. i don;t really know whattttttt i feel
somehow everything that comes out of my mouth doesn;t seem to be what i really feel or think about something, i get the feeling that i keep criticizing about something even though i don;t think about the thing that way. perhaps i am just trying to be someone with an "opinion"
the things i once loved, or were once so passionate about seems to be passing away.
i no longer do the things i love/loved ardently.
People are right, everything can pass away, all except for one thing.
That, they are right. But to me, it felt like it like i was just waiting for it to really come alive.
To think of it now, i don;t even know if i really did the things i "loved". am i really being what i really am ? am i just blindly following or what? do we do things cos we really want to do it ? do we do what we want out of respect? duty ? fear? love? Hope? or is it just some image we want to portray to others? do we do good deeds cos we really want to do it or is it just that we believe in karma or what goes around comes around ? do we really care cos love overflows in our hearts and we want to make love not war, no wait sorry, i don;t mean we, its I, me myself.
am i being something i just thought was good? interesting? does my passion run through my veins or actually burn in my heart?
do what i believe in just come from what others thought was GOOD and acceptable? am i not being what others were? yeah , i;m being her her her her and her . yeah , actually i am being all of her. her.
so superficial, so ostentatious,i feel like play dough, just shaped to be whatever and then left on the table cos there are things called blue tack clay, plasticine and oh whatever thats really awesome too. a metal thats malleable but strangely sturdy .A not so ideal ideal gas,that occupies whatever, susceptible to pressure,Heat, cold, people and all things emotional. Like a machine, a product of everyone, unconscious of what i really am made for. Like a dandelion which spreads its seeds with cotton like structure floating around and directed by the winds, but just that i am just a different type, the one aimlessly wondering about. Things seem to be passing away, i don;t feel like i am being, i don;t feel present, not experiencing anything real,,, simply just seeing life pass me by like a bullet train.
you could love yourself, i don;t really know how to
you could appreciate yourself, i don;t really know how to either.
oh launch me into a field of flowers
i;m lost and disengaged, i;m twice unoriginal, i'm thrice lonelier than ever and four times more vulgar than ever. Every one is engaged in something, a piece of a puzzle, some part, somewhere, forming a complete picture. Or perhaps, just joined with other pieces alike, a picture of the character right in the middle of the picture.
Could i even call myself a puzzle piece? jagged edges with my true blue colour smudged and partially decolourised, .Once Belonging to a part of the sky in a puzzle thats often fixed the last, the hardest, the most troublesome as every piece looks almost the same. Having to be replaced by a better remade piece that looks exactly the same , but with an edge.
i;m not thinking too much,
i;m not creating such things,
do you think that one loves to create such sad truths on their own?
when something around you is happening, you;ve got to be sensitive. its not an imagination , especially if its happening for real.
my appetite is strangely bad and my ulcers scream bloody murder when i speak or eat
deciding to finally eat some real food after 9 days, asses come up to me saying that i SHOULD BE losing weight instead of eating. wth
nice people actually telling me to eat properly.
Late hours,alone in school
chatty giggly gossipmongers and fleeing people
pouring over books, perplexed and feeling like a granny
no one to help .
frickin pests feeding on the AB Bloodtype that flows in my body.
fattening biscuits and free milo.
urgent calls from nature i refuse to answer cos its too dark and freaky.
oh my got, i am actually not thinking as positively as i do.
oh my got, and i actually stopped listening to the mp3 for days?
yup. thank really for ignoring me when i;m sitting in front of you.
and oh crap, i forgot, thanks for dismissing my words as nonsense.
oh and thanks really, for wasting everyone;s time .
oh and thanks REALLY for totally brushing me off after you didn;t need my help.
complaining about so many things right
i didn;t even know i think about such things
i don;t know how lost i am lost
don;t ask me for directions
even though the myth says that one shouldnt ask women for directions, one shouldnt fear to ask directions from women . give a man a map and he can locate the place for you, ask a woman and the woman will tell you how you should walk ahead till you see the coffee house and turn.. up. . .. . down... sushi bar. .. . . . .and you;ll reach there.
ok , i i i i i i i
you you you youyouy
mememememe
myself myself myself
yououyouyouy
i i i i ii
memememememe
my own
keep talking about my own feelings right?
yeah i;m so selfish.
sorry if u wasted your time,
sorry if you don;t understand
and oh, don;t worry, i;m not complaining about my friends, they are great people.
perhaps i shouldn;t expect too much,
can avoid so much disappoint this way.
i just really want to be somebody, some one
i really WANT to BE. Be. be.
왜공부하지안하니? ? ?
yeah, i think its really time to study now.
much typing has rid the dust accumulated on my keyboard over the weeks.
please, could you just remind me to stfu
Like Societies do not have enough problems on its own,
Like individuals do not have their own things to deal with
ok so i am going to paint many different pictures here
like great artists, sometimes you don;t even know what the significant of the picture is,
sometimes its strange how a picture with just a stroke of a brush with thick layers of paint can fetch you so much money and , oh , the title of a great artist
of course, mine would be just lame, i try to make mine look complicated right, yeah, sorry if i screwed up the bottom of the painting , i decided to draw randomly after a while cos i just realized that everything seems to be so incomplete. yeah, horrible, after i finished painting the raindrops, i realised that i couldn;t draw a the woman holding the umbrella.
haha, i really do not know if i actually have a perpetual problem.
huge contradiction to the stupid blog link of mine
Hate it. i don;t really know whattttttt i feel
somehow everything that comes out of my mouth doesn;t seem to be what i really feel or think about something, i get the feeling that i keep criticizing about something even though i don;t think about the thing that way. perhaps i am just trying to be someone with an "opinion"
the things i once loved, or were once so passionate about seems to be passing away.
i no longer do the things i love/loved ardently.
People are right, everything can pass away, all except for one thing.
That, they are right. But to me, it felt like it like i was just waiting for it to really come alive.
To think of it now, i don;t even know if i really did the things i "loved". am i really being what i really am ? am i just blindly following or what? do we do things cos we really want to do it ? do we do what we want out of respect? duty ? fear? love? Hope? or is it just some image we want to portray to others? do we do good deeds cos we really want to do it or is it just that we believe in karma or what goes around comes around ? do we really care cos love overflows in our hearts and we want to make love not war, no wait sorry, i don;t mean we, its I, me myself.
am i being something i just thought was good? interesting? does my passion run through my veins or actually burn in my heart?
do what i believe in just come from what others thought was GOOD and acceptable? am i not being what others were? yeah , i;m being her her her her and her . yeah , actually i am being all of her. her.
so superficial, so ostentatious,i feel like play dough, just shaped to be whatever and then left on the table cos there are things called blue tack clay, plasticine and oh whatever thats really awesome too. a metal thats malleable but strangely sturdy .A not so ideal ideal gas,that occupies whatever, susceptible to pressure,Heat, cold, people and all things emotional. Like a machine, a product of everyone, unconscious of what i really am made for. Like a dandelion which spreads its seeds with cotton like structure floating around and directed by the winds, but just that i am just a different type, the one aimlessly wondering about. Things seem to be passing away, i don;t feel like i am being, i don;t feel present, not experiencing anything real,,, simply just seeing life pass me by like a bullet train.
you could love yourself, i don;t really know how to
you could appreciate yourself, i don;t really know how to either.
oh launch me into a field of flowers
i;m lost and disengaged, i;m twice unoriginal, i'm thrice lonelier than ever and four times more vulgar than ever. Every one is engaged in something, a piece of a puzzle, some part, somewhere, forming a complete picture. Or perhaps, just joined with other pieces alike, a picture of the character right in the middle of the picture.
Could i even call myself a puzzle piece? jagged edges with my true blue colour smudged and partially decolourised, .Once Belonging to a part of the sky in a puzzle thats often fixed the last, the hardest, the most troublesome as every piece looks almost the same. Having to be replaced by a better remade piece that looks exactly the same , but with an edge.
i;m not thinking too much,
i;m not creating such things,
do you think that one loves to create such sad truths on their own?
when something around you is happening, you;ve got to be sensitive. its not an imagination , especially if its happening for real.
my appetite is strangely bad and my ulcers scream bloody murder when i speak or eat
deciding to finally eat some real food after 9 days, asses come up to me saying that i SHOULD BE losing weight instead of eating. wth
nice people actually telling me to eat properly.
Late hours,alone in school
chatty giggly gossipmongers and fleeing people
pouring over books, perplexed and feeling like a granny
no one to help .
frickin pests feeding on the AB Bloodtype that flows in my body.
fattening biscuits and free milo.
urgent calls from nature i refuse to answer cos its too dark and freaky.
oh my got, i am actually not thinking as positively as i do.
oh my got, and i actually stopped listening to the mp3 for days?
yup. thank really for ignoring me when i;m sitting in front of you.
and oh crap, i forgot, thanks for dismissing my words as nonsense.
oh and thanks really, for wasting everyone;s time .
oh and thanks REALLY for totally brushing me off after you didn;t need my help.
complaining about so many things right
i didn;t even know i think about such things
i don;t know how lost i am lost
don;t ask me for directions
even though the myth says that one shouldnt ask women for directions, one shouldnt fear to ask directions from women . give a man a map and he can locate the place for you, ask a woman and the woman will tell you how you should walk ahead till you see the coffee house and turn.. up. . .. . down... sushi bar. .. . . . .and you;ll reach there.
ok , i i i i i i i
you you you youyouy
mememememe
myself myself myself
yououyouyouy
i i i i ii
memememememe
my own
keep talking about my own feelings right?
yeah i;m so selfish.
sorry if u wasted your time,
sorry if you don;t understand
and oh, don;t worry, i;m not complaining about my friends, they are great people.
perhaps i shouldn;t expect too much,
can avoid so much disappoint this way.
i just really want to be somebody, some one
i really WANT to BE. Be. be.
왜공부하지안하니? ? ?
yeah, i think its really time to study now.
much typing has rid the dust accumulated on my keyboard over the weeks.
please, could you just remind me to stfu
what we could have been, 12:07 AM.
