Sunday, August 31, 2008
this is the beginning of one of my longest posts ever,,,,
begin it shortly.
being the skeptic, i ask ask ask ask and question.
before i begin, i wanna say that
i;m just, oh wait, RANting ?
i am not saying that what people do is wrong.
i can;t judge right.?
its just that i am disagreeable with something..
anyways.
i feel rebellious,
some days i feel like saying Foff to everything,
some days i feel so arguable, some days i feel like rebelling against my parents
someday i wanna scream , give an answer that is exactly what you wouldn;t want to hear!!
some times i wannt purposely be really difficult towards everyone else
some days i just feel like rebelling
i wonder if its just the real character hidden deep within,
or it is just that, for once , you want to feel like you really exist,
cause some friction , for once just know again that you can hurt some one ,
just to know that you can affect someone,just to know that you exist, simply for the sake of knowing the significance of your existence.
i don;t think i am that good girl you think i am
daddy please don;t be so nice to me ,
i don;t have the values my sisters have
the ones that you grounded into them.
the ones that you always scold them if they don;t seem to possess it.
i don;t have the things you claim that are important in your eyes.
i am not how you taught my sisters to be
i am not like that,
i am nothing close to it,
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
but why do we do something we do, even though we don;t mean it.
the act of greeting others happily, why ?
we make an effort, we want things to function normally,
its something "normal" to do.
or ,,, just to fulfill " it should be this way"
but when we feel like we don;t do it with sincerity,
then we label it as " being fake"
-_-
sometimes i feel like a robot,
sometimes its because, " this means that"
if you are carrying out this action, it means respect
or if you are doing this, it means that you are __
i wish i could inject more feelings into my actions.
and not be so .. so . . . mechanical .. . .
i wish i had some feelings when i did them,
mom calls to scold in the middle of the night,
why are you not home yet?
she complains of a headache.
i become irritated that she;s scolding me
why can;t she just let me spend my time as i wish ?? its been a long time since i;ve actually BEEN out.
so wait, i SHOULD be concerned about the headache and that SHE;s still worrying about my return,
but no ,i choose to become irritated that she;s screaming her head off at me, and yes, i argued with her for screaming at me ,
i want to rebel, i really do, i really really really do.
what we SHOULD do? and what we choose to do ??
which to choose?
first instincts............................. ? ? ?
my first instincts seem to be damn screwed up,
i really want my first instinct to be TO CARE ,.. .. . .
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
no wait mom,
stop nagging at me,
its my holidays,
i spend it however i want to!
i know when to study and i always study.
whenever i study like nuts, you are never present
when i take a breather., you relentlessly tell me to "go and study"
please stop nagging at me ?
just because i face the comp when you are at home, and refuse to let you know what i am doing.
it does not mean that i am not studying
or oh it does not mean that i am NOT spending this holiday fruitfully
please PLEASE stop telling me that " OH YOU SHOULD BE STUDYING IN THIS HOLIDAY"
yeah ! i do !! i do study! i really do study in this holiday.
are you angry that i am spending time with the computer instead of with you?
whenever you think i am talking to someone else online, you get irritated and immediately ask me to go and study.
when i talk on the phone, you tell me to get off and study
why is it everytime i am actually talking to SOMEONE ELSE. or with someone else, or just seemingly having a relationship with someone , you are not happy?
is it that seemingly you are the only person in my life, that you are glad?
but whenever i talk to you,
you take the defensive role,
you don;t seem to want to engage with me ?
i don;t understand
i am responsible for my grades
i am self disciplined enough to study at my own pace
when i say i will improve, i do right?
when i say i will score the A;s , i do!
i kept my promises!
no mom, can you stop telling me to study.
when is studying in front of your face ENOUGH?
you;re reason for NAGGING is always
" so you get a good job next time .. blah blah .. you won;t suffer like me .. blah blah blah "
but huh, in the first place, even people who have a good occupation or Do what they like have to suffer some way or another right, just tough times for ever single person.
and yes! even though i play much, i don;t have the intention of JEOPARDIZING my future one bit.
when i study like crazy until i break down and cry like nuts
you keep questioning me WHY ARE YOU CRYING
and when i ask you to stop asking me,
you keep asking the same blimming question.
when i finally give a firm " STOP ASKING ME "
you get REALLY ANGRY.. . . .. . and storm out of the room, saying that YOU ARE just concerned about me .
and dad,
why is it that if i seek help with TUITION , its wrong?
i promise that i will improve with tuition
so what if other people do not need tuition
having tuition does not mean that we are weak
in fact, having tuition broadens my understanding,
we know more about the world, how things are applied.
so much fascinating things that i;ve never known.
why can;t having tuition for a certain subject mean that i am wanting to find out more about what i love?
yeah i love physics! i really want to find out more !! much much more!@
and even though tuition is damn expensive, but then its not like i waste my time there!
where;s encouragement when you need it .
everyone;s always tell you to run faster,
instead of " well done. that was a good run"
===================================================================
why when i got a life,
when i went to church
and when i had a healthy spiritual life,
everyone in the family decides to DISAGREE
call me pious, whatever
nag and whatever
nag at me and say " YOU SHOULD BE SPENDING YOUR SATURDAYS / SUNDAYS TO BE STUDYING MORE "
nope, and right now when the whole family attends church.
and then when i stop going!
you still say the same thing.
" go and study lah!!!"
when my spiritual life is crashing down like. i don;t know,
thank you for NOT TRYING to help me
and thank you for nagging at me again saying
you should be studying
always say you are lonely.
when i give you company, you are never satisfied.
when i actually get a life, when i learn to embrace spirituality, go out with some friends, or have something to do other than studying ,
you always get upset.
upset that you are alone on this very day.
upset about this and that .
and then OH
when i go back to church again, you get really angry with me when i got home late, and oh
" what kind of church is this ? ? ? "
why are you not happy with me for actually looking for some spiritual home
i know what you mean when you were worried
i was also worried when you came home late
when you had a new friend, and spent all night with her.
you didn;t give me the chance to be angry with you for making me worry.
you simply brushed if off by saying that " i was out with a friend"
so why can;t i do that too ?
===================================================================
why are we so lost in this world where you create profiles of yourself online
the place where you pour yourselves out more freely than before
why do we feel more lost than before,
why is it that even though we are so easily connected,
why are we less connected than before?
we are so available on our cellphones, yet we choose to remain unavailable most of the time.
thing is, we become unavailable to others, and just make yourself available at your own disposal.
but can;t you see that others need you. ?
we all just want to feel important ,
but what is the sole purpose
just to be part of something
or just to hope one day you will be found ?
or just biting into a slice of virtual existence, HOPING deeply to belong
==============================================================
why is it when you speak, you don;t care about what others are saying. ?
we ask a question and we don;t care about their answer
or,,
we ignore them and then question the same question the person was previously addressing.
A says " i think something happened to C, i called her a dozen times and she didn;t pick up "
B, Completely ignoring A, then complains " wahlao, shes super irresponsible can,,always like that, want to call her cannot call her ......blah blah blah"
same things happen during lessons,
our teachers relentlessly tries to get their voice across the chattering class and after that tireless one way convo, someone ELSE asks the exact same question.
you are happy to know that people are interested in your life
you created a web to share your experiences.
but you didn;t bother to find out what others are experiencing.
no, why don;t you want to hear?
why do you want to be heard and not hear
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
when i see you, i long for you to stay a little bit longer.
i want to know how you are, or simply be part of what you are doing.
you wouldn't mind just delaying just a little bit for me ?
but, yep, you mind , say " i needa go home, bye!"
couldn;t you inconvenience yourself just one time and go the long route with me?
nope., rush rush rush, we must , we rush.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
why do you care about what people think about what you wear
or how you wear your hair
who cares about giant legs or scared hands,
wear that egyptian looking head band , that hippies shirt,
the cheerleader ponytail that you adore
if you are ok with it, then who cares about what others think ? ?
eventually , whatever you wear , or however you do things,
people do not care
to a person , they think they own the nicest shirt in the world
or OH THE MOST EXPENSIVE LOOKING shirt you have with the cheapest buy.
someone else thinks that they have something that;s better than what you have.
no matter what you wear, what you own, what you have, what you achieved,
theres bound to be someone who would think that they have something better, look better, own something better.
why should you be so conscious about what others say about you, especially your outer appearance ? just wear whatever you want, what you feel most comfortable with ! caring so much about what others may think just makes you suppress your true self.
but why do we FEEL like we care about what others think. ? because we are humans? or we are just "striving" to impress. kkk,,
seriously. others do not care.
yep . they don;t care
they only care when they have the time.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
everything dies.
we go online today,
we have an awesome convo,
or we wait for someone else to initiate
but when someone else does,
sometimes we don;t bother to participate .
we talked today,
you forget what you said,
we remember it clearly.
then whats the point........don;t invest time in such things lah.
lol. sadly, its addictive.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
we want to find some purpose of existing .
just to feel alive
quit rushing, quite racing time,
you control what you are doing with your time.
can you just stop and look around you?
things become so one way ,, why
"i busy what," or " it doesn;t interest me so what for",
just becoming individualistic? Selfish ? self centered? Bored?
oh wait, famously " BUSY!"
i don;t know what your reason is ........ i don;t know.. . . .
perhaps everyone does not feel this way,.
perhaps people do feel like the belong and all that
its fine,
is the answer choice? we choose to be like that. we choose to remain unavailable, we choose to be noticed instead of noticing. ? we choose ? or are we just sick of what;s happening that we disconnect ourselves?
perhaps we are too cautious or careful to invest in the right friendships,
the right people, the right thing , the right this the right that ,, the right blah ,, so much that we completely disconnect ourselves.
perhaps its just me who is causing all this upon myself.
perhaps i;m just refusing to believe that what i am doing is wrong
perhaps what i am doing is so lao gu dong,
perhaps i;m not staying relevant
perhaps i;m just not likable
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
perhaps part of turning eighteen makes me wonder too much about what i have done with my life.
nope. i;ve never thought of
" I'M BECOMING LEGAL!! "
legal to drive.. legal to drink?
"OH !!!! I CAN CLUB LEGALLY!!!"
-_-
i don;t care about all those.
its ok if the seven eleven guy asks me for my IC when i purchase a jolly shandy that is,, OH! less than 0.5% alcohol,and then forbid me to step out of the store with it,, kkk its fine with me! i;m not eager to grow up.
its ok to take a salt or pepper shaker and then go " bang bang!!",, just one;s way of amusing oneself.
theres so much i have yet to be done before turning older,,
like .. some identity
perhaps its just that i am still looking for belonging
perhaps its because i;ve not found myself yet
theres so much to find out
so much to be done
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
begin it shortly.
being the skeptic, i ask ask ask ask and question.
before i begin, i wanna say that
i;m just, oh wait, RANting ?
i am not saying that what people do is wrong.
i can;t judge right.?
its just that i am disagreeable with something..
anyways.
i feel rebellious,
some days i feel like saying Foff to everything,
some days i feel so arguable, some days i feel like rebelling against my parents
someday i wanna scream , give an answer that is exactly what you wouldn;t want to hear!!
some times i wannt purposely be really difficult towards everyone else
some days i just feel like rebelling
i wonder if its just the real character hidden deep within,
or it is just that, for once , you want to feel like you really exist,
cause some friction , for once just know again that you can hurt some one ,
just to know that you can affect someone,just to know that you exist, simply for the sake of knowing the significance of your existence.
i don;t think i am that good girl you think i am
daddy please don;t be so nice to me ,
i don;t have the values my sisters have
the ones that you grounded into them.
the ones that you always scold them if they don;t seem to possess it.
i don;t have the things you claim that are important in your eyes.
i am not how you taught my sisters to be
i am not like that,
i am nothing close to it,
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
but why do we do something we do, even though we don;t mean it.
the act of greeting others happily, why ?
we make an effort, we want things to function normally,
its something "normal" to do.
or ,,, just to fulfill " it should be this way"
but when we feel like we don;t do it with sincerity,
then we label it as " being fake"
-_-
sometimes i feel like a robot,
sometimes its because, " this means that"
if you are carrying out this action, it means respect
or if you are doing this, it means that you are __
i wish i could inject more feelings into my actions.
and not be so .. so . . . mechanical .. . .
i wish i had some feelings when i did them,
mom calls to scold in the middle of the night,
why are you not home yet?
she complains of a headache.
i become irritated that she;s scolding me
why can;t she just let me spend my time as i wish ?? its been a long time since i;ve actually BEEN out.
so wait, i SHOULD be concerned about the headache and that SHE;s still worrying about my return,
but no ,i choose to become irritated that she;s screaming her head off at me, and yes, i argued with her for screaming at me ,
i want to rebel, i really do, i really really really do.
what we SHOULD do? and what we choose to do ??
which to choose?
first instincts............................. ? ? ?
my first instincts seem to be damn screwed up,
i really want my first instinct to be TO CARE ,.. .. . .
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
no wait mom,
stop nagging at me,
its my holidays,
i spend it however i want to!
i know when to study and i always study.
whenever i study like nuts, you are never present
when i take a breather., you relentlessly tell me to "go and study"
please stop nagging at me ?
just because i face the comp when you are at home, and refuse to let you know what i am doing.
it does not mean that i am not studying
or oh it does not mean that i am NOT spending this holiday fruitfully
please PLEASE stop telling me that " OH YOU SHOULD BE STUDYING IN THIS HOLIDAY"
yeah ! i do !! i do study! i really do study in this holiday.
are you angry that i am spending time with the computer instead of with you?
whenever you think i am talking to someone else online, you get irritated and immediately ask me to go and study.
when i talk on the phone, you tell me to get off and study
why is it everytime i am actually talking to SOMEONE ELSE. or with someone else, or just seemingly having a relationship with someone , you are not happy?
is it that seemingly you are the only person in my life, that you are glad?
but whenever i talk to you,
you take the defensive role,
you don;t seem to want to engage with me ?
i don;t understand
i am responsible for my grades
i am self disciplined enough to study at my own pace
when i say i will improve, i do right?
when i say i will score the A;s , i do!
i kept my promises!
no mom, can you stop telling me to study.
when is studying in front of your face ENOUGH?
you;re reason for NAGGING is always
" so you get a good job next time .. blah blah .. you won;t suffer like me .. blah blah blah "
but huh, in the first place, even people who have a good occupation or Do what they like have to suffer some way or another right, just tough times for ever single person.
and yes! even though i play much, i don;t have the intention of JEOPARDIZING my future one bit.
when i study like crazy until i break down and cry like nuts
you keep questioning me WHY ARE YOU CRYING
and when i ask you to stop asking me,
you keep asking the same blimming question.
when i finally give a firm " STOP ASKING ME "
you get REALLY ANGRY.. . . .. . and storm out of the room, saying that YOU ARE just concerned about me .
and dad,
why is it that if i seek help with TUITION , its wrong?
i promise that i will improve with tuition
so what if other people do not need tuition
having tuition does not mean that we are weak
in fact, having tuition broadens my understanding,
we know more about the world, how things are applied.
so much fascinating things that i;ve never known.
why can;t having tuition for a certain subject mean that i am wanting to find out more about what i love?
yeah i love physics! i really want to find out more !! much much more!@
and even though tuition is damn expensive, but then its not like i waste my time there!
where;s encouragement when you need it .
everyone;s always tell you to run faster,
instead of " well done. that was a good run"
===================================================================
why when i got a life,
when i went to church
and when i had a healthy spiritual life,
everyone in the family decides to DISAGREE
call me pious, whatever
nag and whatever
nag at me and say " YOU SHOULD BE SPENDING YOUR SATURDAYS / SUNDAYS TO BE STUDYING MORE "
nope, and right now when the whole family attends church.
and then when i stop going!
you still say the same thing.
" go and study lah!!!"
when my spiritual life is crashing down like. i don;t know,
thank you for NOT TRYING to help me
and thank you for nagging at me again saying
you should be studying
always say you are lonely.
when i give you company, you are never satisfied.
when i actually get a life, when i learn to embrace spirituality, go out with some friends, or have something to do other than studying ,
you always get upset.
upset that you are alone on this very day.
upset about this and that .
and then OH
when i go back to church again, you get really angry with me when i got home late, and oh
" what kind of church is this ? ? ? "
why are you not happy with me for actually looking for some spiritual home
i know what you mean when you were worried
i was also worried when you came home late
when you had a new friend, and spent all night with her.
you didn;t give me the chance to be angry with you for making me worry.
you simply brushed if off by saying that " i was out with a friend"
so why can;t i do that too ?
===================================================================
why are we so lost in this world where you create profiles of yourself online
the place where you pour yourselves out more freely than before
why do we feel more lost than before,
why is it that even though we are so easily connected,
why are we less connected than before?
we are so available on our cellphones, yet we choose to remain unavailable most of the time.
thing is, we become unavailable to others, and just make yourself available at your own disposal.
but can;t you see that others need you. ?
we all just want to feel important ,
but what is the sole purpose
just to be part of something
or just to hope one day you will be found ?
or just biting into a slice of virtual existence, HOPING deeply to belong
==============================================================
why is it when you speak, you don;t care about what others are saying. ?
we ask a question and we don;t care about their answer
or,,
we ignore them and then question the same question the person was previously addressing.
A says " i think something happened to C, i called her a dozen times and she didn;t pick up "
B, Completely ignoring A, then complains " wahlao, shes super irresponsible can,,always like that, want to call her cannot call her ......blah blah blah"
same things happen during lessons,
our teachers relentlessly tries to get their voice across the chattering class and after that tireless one way convo, someone ELSE asks the exact same question.
you are happy to know that people are interested in your life
you created a web to share your experiences.
but you didn;t bother to find out what others are experiencing.
no, why don;t you want to hear?
why do you want to be heard and not hear
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
when i see you, i long for you to stay a little bit longer.
i want to know how you are, or simply be part of what you are doing.
you wouldn't mind just delaying just a little bit for me ?
but, yep, you mind , say " i needa go home, bye!"
couldn;t you inconvenience yourself just one time and go the long route with me?
nope., rush rush rush, we must , we rush.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
why do you care about what people think about what you wear
or how you wear your hair
who cares about giant legs or scared hands,
wear that egyptian looking head band , that hippies shirt,
the cheerleader ponytail that you adore
if you are ok with it, then who cares about what others think ? ?
eventually , whatever you wear , or however you do things,
people do not care
to a person , they think they own the nicest shirt in the world
or OH THE MOST EXPENSIVE LOOKING shirt you have with the cheapest buy.
someone else thinks that they have something that;s better than what you have.
no matter what you wear, what you own, what you have, what you achieved,
theres bound to be someone who would think that they have something better, look better, own something better.
why should you be so conscious about what others say about you, especially your outer appearance ? just wear whatever you want, what you feel most comfortable with ! caring so much about what others may think just makes you suppress your true self.
but why do we FEEL like we care about what others think. ? because we are humans? or we are just "striving" to impress. kkk,,
seriously. others do not care.
yep . they don;t care
they only care when they have the time.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
everything dies.
we go online today,
we have an awesome convo,
or we wait for someone else to initiate
but when someone else does,
sometimes we don;t bother to participate .
we talked today,
you forget what you said,
we remember it clearly.
then whats the point........don;t invest time in such things lah.
lol. sadly, its addictive.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
we want to find some purpose of existing .
just to feel alive
quit rushing, quite racing time,
you control what you are doing with your time.
can you just stop and look around you?
things become so one way ,, why
"i busy what," or " it doesn;t interest me so what for",
just becoming individualistic? Selfish ? self centered? Bored?
oh wait, famously " BUSY!"
i don;t know what your reason is ........ i don;t know.. . . .
perhaps everyone does not feel this way,.
perhaps people do feel like the belong and all that
its fine,
is the answer choice? we choose to be like that. we choose to remain unavailable, we choose to be noticed instead of noticing. ? we choose ? or are we just sick of what;s happening that we disconnect ourselves?
perhaps we are too cautious or careful to invest in the right friendships,
the right people, the right thing , the right this the right that ,, the right blah ,, so much that we completely disconnect ourselves.
perhaps its just me who is causing all this upon myself.
perhaps i;m just refusing to believe that what i am doing is wrong
perhaps what i am doing is so lao gu dong,
perhaps i;m not staying relevant
perhaps i;m just not likable
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
perhaps part of turning eighteen makes me wonder too much about what i have done with my life.
nope. i;ve never thought of
" I'M BECOMING LEGAL!! "
legal to drive.. legal to drink?
"OH !!!! I CAN CLUB LEGALLY!!!"
-_-
i don;t care about all those.
its ok if the seven eleven guy asks me for my IC when i purchase a jolly shandy that is,, OH! less than 0.5% alcohol,and then forbid me to step out of the store with it,, kkk its fine with me! i;m not eager to grow up.
its ok to take a salt or pepper shaker and then go " bang bang!!",, just one;s way of amusing oneself.
theres so much i have yet to be done before turning older,,
like .. some identity
perhaps its just that i am still looking for belonging
perhaps its because i;ve not found myself yet
theres so much to find out
so much to be done
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
what we could have been, 10:00 AM.
Thursday, August 28, 2008
"when you look me in the eyes
and tell me that you love me "
nice song by the jonas brothers.
kk i met the ITC- sg group today again!!!! for breaky at the american club : ) )
dad drove us there this morning, but he was fuming mad that i didn;t inform him earlier. Ididn;t know that he was not at queenz thats why i thought he would be fetching me with my younger sister . Apparently he wasn;t at home that morning and so he wouldn;t know.. Felt really bad... I hope i won;t keep letting history repeat itself.
hh.. so anyway.. Mam H.Y treated us to breakfast !! and we chatted and were reminded of the fun of the I.T. C at malaysia again... haha and all the funny things that happened.. hh super nice to see them again ! We told them that we would help them publicize if they needed our help! haha Next year , i would definitely encourage people from our college to go.. :D
hhh i really miss it still ~~
kkk walked around far east plaza with ca|bei after that ,, and oh! bought a blue dress/skirt with her!! whoa it was like my quickest buy ever! ! i am actually quite impressed with this buy,, the colour is so ~~!
hh,,newayz
With physics paper one on friday morning, it marked the end of this, excruciatingly long prelims.
i was extremely disappointed that i FAILED to finish the mcq on time, i spent too much on the first few pages. I should have started from the back with my best few topics, and also not to be so jian jue to solve the question when i could not get an answer, i think this wasted me quite a bit of time.. ..
To unwind , i asked my sister out, after a haircut!,, hh it was a little rushy.
so anyways.
By the time i was done and reached vivo, we missed the 245 show for wall-e. So, we decided to get some grub, kk and since EJ couldn;t catch the later show, i asked hl if she was watching it some time soon, hh and coincidentally! she was at vivo , and was going to catch the 350 show!yay so they helped me get a ticket : )
hhh ej said that we should try out some dessert at bakerzia, haha its pretty nice!! and the food presentation is pretty unique , the cup has a bottom likened to a top. its not flat, but its like a gently sloped cone.
tastes pretty nice, but of course, like all things we say, its slightly overpriced.
HAHA! yummy strawberry cheesecake icecream and chocolate caramel thing , held by ej and i!
we started eating at 325, and the movie started at 340 -_- so immediately after we footed the bill, i sprinted towards the movie theater. WELL. should have strolled there instead,, cos they spent ten minutes on commercials. . . -0-.
hhh
WALLE. right, the movie.
i didn;t really anticipate this movie much ?..
i have to say, i;ll just rate it a 3.
The movie was basically about how THE LAZY humans in the movie simply left Earth to space to live until the robots they left on earth have cleaned up their trash, and after the whole clean up, they would return to inhabit the earth and , oh! pollute it again. LAME. i mean they just responsibility of cleaning up the earth after they had consumed much material things and left all the trash to some machines. ultra laziness and super irresponsible lah., definitely not all humans are like that in real life. - - -
so anyway , of course a movie is a movie, so it goes on ,and two robots find love, and oh!!!!!!!!! THIS IS MY FAVOURITE!!! THE CLEANING ROBOT.!
SUPER CUTE!! really really cute. if i owned one, i think it would go crazy if it sees the aftermath of studying in my warzone. kkk Notes strewn all over my room floor, eraser debris on the table, scribblings all over the table and papers flying everywhere. haha. . ! awesome to own one. hahaha
right so back to the movie. . nearing the end was pretty sad for me! i mean i felt this choking sensation or some lump in my throat at the part when WallE could not remember his eva. haha [ gosh it feels weird to call robots by names- _ -] .. . . .
i wonder, if some one you loved really lost their memory, , what would i do? it could be a family member or your spouse or friend.. or , i don;t know... but, would we chose persist to make them love us again ? try rebuilding the relationship you once had with them? will the person have the same personality as before ?
they say that the heart has a mind, even though you lose your memory, your heart, it has its own. I think it;d be quite difficult for them to be the same again.. It;ll be really sad if they can;t remember you ,, . what do you do? try to rebuild the relationship ? try to forget the relationship you once had and just continue living alongside them and let them know you for who you are, and just hope that it;d get back to the way things were ? or if they permanently cannot remember at all, then would you still treat them the way they were before the accident, or forcing them to love you again ?
kk, i wonder if everyone would face such things one day, spouse, parents? . . . what would i do if an elderly cant remember.. . . .
in desperate housewives, i remember susan being distraught when mike couldn;t remember her.
They were "deeply in love" and mike was on his way to meet susan to propose to her, when he met an accident!.
He lost his memory, susan tried to make him remember all the things they use to do, everything,,,,,,, mike was already moving on with some other character.. eventually he regained his memory lah,, but thats not the point.
oh well, i guess that its only when it happens , then we would find out what we would do.. k. .
anyways....
hh sharon says that she wanted to see my haircut! so,, ere!
haha
k lah, i;m a little zilian : )
. right,gonna start spewing some virtual trash in the next post....
i;ve been thinking so much the past few days, i don;t know where to even begin.... kkk
oh well, i think this coming holidays i must spend it fruitfully
gonna dedicate one day to helping mom , and then i will train my speed for mcqs! and i will focus a little more on economics. and of course, clean my room.
set your heart to it, do what you need to do .
Don;t care about the opinion of others, they will only hold you back.
What you do when no one is looking ,thats your character.
we don;t have to prove ourselves to anyone else.
fighting!
and tell me that you love me "
nice song by the jonas brothers.
kk i met the ITC- sg group today again!!!! for breaky at the american club : ) )
dad drove us there this morning, but he was fuming mad that i didn;t inform him earlier. Ididn;t know that he was not at queenz thats why i thought he would be fetching me with my younger sister . Apparently he wasn;t at home that morning and so he wouldn;t know.. Felt really bad... I hope i won;t keep letting history repeat itself.
hh.. so anyway.. Mam H.Y treated us to breakfast !! and we chatted and were reminded of the fun of the I.T. C at malaysia again... haha and all the funny things that happened.. hh super nice to see them again ! We told them that we would help them publicize if they needed our help! haha Next year , i would definitely encourage people from our college to go.. :D
hhh i really miss it still ~~
kkk walked around far east plaza with ca|bei after that ,, and oh! bought a blue dress/skirt with her!! whoa it was like my quickest buy ever! ! i am actually quite impressed with this buy,, the colour is so ~~!
hh,,newayz
With physics paper one on friday morning, it marked the end of this, excruciatingly long prelims.
i was extremely disappointed that i FAILED to finish the mcq on time, i spent too much on the first few pages. I should have started from the back with my best few topics, and also not to be so jian jue to solve the question when i could not get an answer, i think this wasted me quite a bit of time.. ..
To unwind , i asked my sister out, after a haircut!,, hh it was a little rushy.
so anyways.
By the time i was done and reached vivo, we missed the 245 show for wall-e. So, we decided to get some grub, kk and since EJ couldn;t catch the later show, i asked hl if she was watching it some time soon, hh and coincidentally! she was at vivo , and was going to catch the 350 show!yay so they helped me get a ticket : )
hhh ej said that we should try out some dessert at bakerzia, haha its pretty nice!! and the food presentation is pretty unique , the cup has a bottom likened to a top. its not flat, but its like a gently sloped cone.
tastes pretty nice, but of course, like all things we say, its slightly overpriced.
HAHA! yummy strawberry cheesecake icecream and chocolate caramel thing , held by ej and i!
we started eating at 325, and the movie started at 340 -_- so immediately after we footed the bill, i sprinted towards the movie theater. WELL. should have strolled there instead,, cos they spent ten minutes on commercials. . . -0-.
hhh
WALLE. right, the movie.
i didn;t really anticipate this movie much ?..
i have to say, i;ll just rate it a 3.
The movie was basically about how THE LAZY humans in the movie simply left Earth to space to live until the robots they left on earth have cleaned up their trash, and after the whole clean up, they would return to inhabit the earth and , oh! pollute it again. LAME. i mean they just responsibility of cleaning up the earth after they had consumed much material things and left all the trash to some machines. ultra laziness and super irresponsible lah., definitely not all humans are like that in real life. - - -
so anyway , of course a movie is a movie, so it goes on ,and two robots find love, and oh!!!!!!!!! THIS IS MY FAVOURITE!!! THE CLEANING ROBOT.!
SUPER CUTE!! really really cute. if i owned one, i think it would go crazy if it sees the aftermath of studying in my warzone. kkk Notes strewn all over my room floor, eraser debris on the table, scribblings all over the table and papers flying everywhere. haha. . ! awesome to own one. hahaha
right so back to the movie. . nearing the end was pretty sad for me! i mean i felt this choking sensation or some lump in my throat at the part when WallE could not remember his eva. haha [ gosh it feels weird to call robots by names- _ -] .. . . .
i wonder, if some one you loved really lost their memory, , what would i do? it could be a family member or your spouse or friend.. or , i don;t know... but, would we chose persist to make them love us again ? try rebuilding the relationship you once had with them? will the person have the same personality as before ?
they say that the heart has a mind, even though you lose your memory, your heart, it has its own. I think it;d be quite difficult for them to be the same again.. It;ll be really sad if they can;t remember you ,, . what do you do? try to rebuild the relationship ? try to forget the relationship you once had and just continue living alongside them and let them know you for who you are, and just hope that it;d get back to the way things were ? or if they permanently cannot remember at all, then would you still treat them the way they were before the accident, or forcing them to love you again ?
kk, i wonder if everyone would face such things one day, spouse, parents? . . . what would i do if an elderly cant remember.. . . .
in desperate housewives, i remember susan being distraught when mike couldn;t remember her.
They were "deeply in love" and mike was on his way to meet susan to propose to her, when he met an accident!.
He lost his memory, susan tried to make him remember all the things they use to do, everything,,,,,,, mike was already moving on with some other character.. eventually he regained his memory lah,, but thats not the point.
oh well, i guess that its only when it happens , then we would find out what we would do.. k. .
anyways....
hh sharon says that she wanted to see my haircut! so,, ere!
haha
k lah, i;m a little zilian : )
. right,gonna start spewing some virtual trash in the next post....
i;ve been thinking so much the past few days, i don;t know where to even begin.... kkk
oh well, i think this coming holidays i must spend it fruitfully
gonna dedicate one day to helping mom , and then i will train my speed for mcqs! and i will focus a little more on economics. and of course, clean my room.
set your heart to it, do what you need to do .
Don;t care about the opinion of others, they will only hold you back.
What you do when no one is looking ,thats your character.
we don;t have to prove ourselves to anyone else.
fighting!
what we could have been, 9:30 AM.
Monday, August 25, 2008
HAI HAI HAI HAI HAI
just sometimes i rlly wanna tell myself
shut up.
just sometimes i rlly wanna tell myself
shut up.
what we could have been, 11:13 AM.
Saturday, August 23, 2008
srsly at times like this
you would wanna say
wth
oh wait what is the word i;m looking for ?
annoyed?
discouraged and .
oh. annoyeed.
and oh whats the sound i;m looking for?
. asdf.
oh right,
S.. .. .
just, go away.
PLEASE. sulk and frown when she he them doesnt call you
OH PLEASE look for me ONLY when you need help
OH PLEASE sulk and frown and scream and stop me from getting a life
PLEASE look for your other friends when i need you !
PLEASE Pretend like you don;t know
PLEASE spoil your own mood over something so minor and,, oh yes, sulk. and oh be really really really realy relaly unhappy with me
PLEASE sulk and cry when you made a decision even though many people told you NOT TO DO IT!!!! YES and then when u suffer the consequence, PLEASE, compare youreslf with others and then BLAME the person blame blame blame. yes please blame others for yourchoice.AND ohj please be and feel really bitter for the rest of your life cos of your OWN decision
OH PLEASE ASK ME if i still go for tuition , just in the VERY midst of my TIME OF NEED.
OH PLEASE repeatedly bug me for a reason why i am crying
OH PLEASE keep asking me if its your fault that i am crying,even though i say no
PLEASE get really angry when i tell you to stop asking me
THANKS FOR BEING REALLY APPROPRIATE
we don;t need it .
perhaps im too selfish
you should put aside your own wants for others.
IDEALLY yes.
but its so sad. we;re human we hate it when people dont give a crap when its done for them.
you would wanna say
wth
oh wait what is the word i;m looking for ?
annoyed?
discouraged and .
oh. annoyeed.
and oh whats the sound i;m looking for?
. asdf.
oh right,
S.. .. .
just, go away.
PLEASE. sulk and frown when she he them doesnt call you
OH PLEASE look for me ONLY when you need help
OH PLEASE sulk and frown and scream and stop me from getting a life
PLEASE look for your other friends when i need you !
PLEASE Pretend like you don;t know
PLEASE spoil your own mood over something so minor and,, oh yes, sulk. and oh be really really really realy relaly unhappy with me
PLEASE sulk and cry when you made a decision even though many people told you NOT TO DO IT!!!! YES and then when u suffer the consequence, PLEASE, compare youreslf with others and then BLAME the person blame blame blame. yes please blame others for yourchoice.AND ohj please be and feel really bitter for the rest of your life cos of your OWN decision
OH PLEASE ASK ME if i still go for tuition , just in the VERY midst of my TIME OF NEED.
OH PLEASE repeatedly bug me for a reason why i am crying
OH PLEASE keep asking me if its your fault that i am crying,even though i say no
PLEASE get really angry when i tell you to stop asking me
THANKS FOR BEING REALLY APPROPRIATE
we don;t need it .
perhaps im too selfish
you should put aside your own wants for others.
IDEALLY yes.
but its so sad. we;re human we hate it when people dont give a crap when its done for them.
what we could have been, 4:01 AM.
Friday, August 22, 2008
the part about being a girl.
---------------------------------------------------------
oh my tianZxXxs?
hahahahahahaha
the PCD song is really super super super super addictive
every single time, i tell myself that " this is a stupid song, don;t like it at all man"
but eventually, i will succumb and go
" OK !! fine the song is so addictive!!!"
hahaha~~
andddddddddddddddddddddddddddd
AHHhahahaha~~~ D.bell is super cute with glasses!! kk k k k k k!
SUPER CUTE!!!!!!!!
even though he may not look so attractive in the pics,, but videos don;t lie!! hahahah!
anyways. back to the nonsensical mundane things. . . k k
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
the part about meaninglessness.
Naemudai.. . . .. .
i came home today, my feeling is pretty happy. elated. what not.
i had an intention to visit my dad;s today too... .. but then,, someone asked me this recently. . .
" go also for what". . . ..
it just made me feel like my time has been wasted all this years. well though i didn;t feel so during all these years. but the reactions, i mean, my purpose of going, after so many years, is unclear and questioned by other people. it then shows that even others don;t see the point of me going there. so now, i just feel like its meaningless.
it just makes me feel that i could have better spent my time all these while.
but its ok, absence makes the heart grows fonder. or perhaps, in the present day, things are always known to work the other way. Perhaps a de attachment makes it easier for you to move away after many years. I guess this is why some people can work overseas for so long and not care about their parents in their home country. Sad case , but it happens right.
===============================================================
the part about dreams and a sad life
ok so anyways, when i came home, i really wanted to celebrate. or well, just unwind. or ,, i don;t know ,, just play., .. . go out or something. .. . i don;t know,, i wanted to look for some one to have dinner with or just plain catch a movie,,, with people, real people. i looked at my cell and i realised that " oh shit, theres no one i can call".
damn it. sad life.
so its fine. you can always return home to your trusty notes, they;re always there for you, they don;t move away at their own convenience and give you their listening ear. Even though they love to act like a hard to get b/gf, wanting you to figure them out most of the time.
or otherwise, like me, i chose to go to bed. The cushy looking exterior of it makes you feel comfortable whilst the total silence, and then you won;t feel like leaving its side. somewhat like a true friend. haha. so yes i slept for 5 hours straight, very good recuperation to my energy bank. But sadly, i keep having strange dreams. perhaps i was thinking too much,,,
had a dream about huge rollercoasters with the loops , due to much thinking of [ max GPE and min ke at top of the loop] or what not.
yep. i dreamt that it was more of a high way , people inside a trailer, from different countries, one holding a flag going against some ruling party in the next. i observed someone asking the guy to go into a room when the someone attacked the poor guy and drank his blood. Cannibalistic and gross.. . . . .
after the trailer crashed into a sea. Six of us survived. dad sis i and another family of three. One of them was my secondary school friend -_-. . . .. . . . . we were stranded on an island. at night , there was a high tide in which the water came ashore , totally beyond the coast line and disappeared.... and with a mighty sound of a gushing wave, the waves returned, gushing towards the open sea.
strange strange strange uncanny dreams.
not to mention, it totally exhausts you . . of energy and imagination.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
the part about teachers.
mmmmmmm
i;m feeling pretty relaxed since tuesday,
i think after my body returned to its normal functions, i don;t feel tensed up nemore
yeah,i think the natural order of my body was disrupted the past few weeks before this,, and the strain in my body made me feel so tensed ,, ,ahh i think it caused me to under-perform for math and chem paper 3 .. . .asdfjk
but its ok~.
mrs chan spoke to me the other day.,
she told me she marked the papers.
i could tell from her voice that i didn;t do very well for the paper 1.
was feeling like crap whilst doing the paper that day.
but its ok~ then i told her that i would definitely do well for paper two.
must work damn hard man!! maintain an a for math ah , , i;d be pretty devastated if i don;t
i learned that i canonot ignore that soft prompt in my heart.. super costly and super important lesson . . . .
you know, today , !! AHHHHHHHHHhh i was so lame!!!! to calculate amount in Mole, u should use grammes right? ?? yeah!! initially i did!!! and then i became suspicious and then i changed my answers! muddle headed -0-~~~~~~~ another question for chem involved reactions of X- ( halogen ion) with conc H2so4!biang. even though i thought of all the formation of HI gas and what not immediately. Stupidly, i dismissed the thought immediately and skipped the question.. . .. .. . ahhh should have wrote down the answer. stupidly scribbled " no rxn" and rushed to the next question.. . .. cannot be so lazy next time. .. . . . . . . . should think through more thoroughly . .
happened twice this week leh,, first time occurring with the uncertainty question for physics.
but its ok. i shan;t ignore that soft prompting in my heart/mind again.
kkk ,, shall spam math and physics this weekend.
i remembered something from year 2006.
" Mr t@n. yep! i promise, sure get A1 for physics ,,,i think still can "
i remember how he changed my life. i remember how he made me think through my actions, i remember how he told me not to be so impatient with myself. i remember so clearly.
i remember , , , kk
" sorry mr tan, i got an A2, even though i promised an A1".
He said it was ok,,, but now, i know that its ok becuase i realised that perhaps, the grade be considered a blessing. Considering the vast amount of things and how much i still need to find out and understand about about this awesome science, i think theres still much space for me to improve . Much space.
must be stricter to myself,
i will earn the grade which i work for.
if a gold medalist won a medal by sheer luck and without real skill, i think he won;t feel good bearing the medal anyway.
ok i am determined to get the A and then i will tell Mr.T that i finally did it .
i love physics and i always will love it, even though its tough, i love whatever i do and i do whatever i do because i choose to. . . i will earn what i work hard for. i won;t give up so easily.
the part about becoming older.
-----------------------------------------------------
as august draws to a closure, September is coming. . and so i almost forgot that i;m gonna be 18 this year. . . . ,, i don;t feel any sense of excitement in particular.so what if you can watch certain movies legally, its no big deal, considering that you don;t even get to watch movies often.
perhaps i;m starting to feel really discouraged by the fact that there is increasing number of people who are treating other people;s birthday celebrations without respect. i wonder if its just becuase i have never experienced it in my life? or perhaps its just that its always happening but i am just caring too much? or what not ,, i don;t know. .. . but its seriously sad to see.
yeah after witnessing countless numbers of birthday celebrations. . .. .
i remember
"what are you doing here today? "
and oh i remember
this guy was making a birthday wish and, oh some one decided to complain and sigh about his workplace right infront of the boy, whilst he was making a wish.
oh and i remember
people are playing the PSP whilst someone is blowing out the candles.
oh and i remember,
looking and talking and catching up with your other friends while he was sharing his wish with everyone. Can you imagine his feeling when he see;s you being disinterested in his very personal wish? ? ?
oh and i remember
making him have to do all the work on his birthday.
oh and i remember
having someone to keep calling and scold you whilst you are blowing out the candles!!!!! yay how exciting.
. .. . . . .
anti climatic i tell you.
super discouraged by such actions,,,, a little inappropriate can..
you can disagree with it, its fine with me as long as you don;t mind people being like this.
and i hope mom doesn;t start complaining infront of the table like last year.
super discouraging.
i guess this is one of the reasons of how disappointing people's actions can be
if at this point of time you don;t feel it , then i don;t think you can imagine the situation.
i guess this is one of the reasons why we stop injecting feelings into such things.
why we stop expecting
why we start to disconnect.
wake me up when september ends.
the part about improving myself
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
memorise definitions properly and throughly.
think throughly through the questions
be more certain.
practice more@
cannot so be easily disheartened
love what i do!
press on!!!
---------------------------------------------------------
oh my tianZxXxs?
hahahahahahaha
the PCD song is really super super super super addictive
every single time, i tell myself that " this is a stupid song, don;t like it at all man"
but eventually, i will succumb and go
" OK !! fine the song is so addictive!!!"
hahaha~~
andddddddddddddddddddddddddddd
AHHhahahaha~~~ D.bell is super cute with glasses!! kk k k k k k!
SUPER CUTE!!!!!!!!
even though he may not look so attractive in the pics,, but videos don;t lie!! hahahah!
anyways. back to the nonsensical mundane things. . . k k
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
the part about meaninglessness.
Naemudai.. . . .. .
i came home today, my feeling is pretty happy. elated. what not.
i had an intention to visit my dad;s today too... .. but then,, someone asked me this recently. . .
" go also for what". . . ..
it just made me feel like my time has been wasted all this years. well though i didn;t feel so during all these years. but the reactions, i mean, my purpose of going, after so many years, is unclear and questioned by other people. it then shows that even others don;t see the point of me going there. so now, i just feel like its meaningless.
it just makes me feel that i could have better spent my time all these while.
but its ok, absence makes the heart grows fonder. or perhaps, in the present day, things are always known to work the other way. Perhaps a de attachment makes it easier for you to move away after many years. I guess this is why some people can work overseas for so long and not care about their parents in their home country. Sad case , but it happens right.
===============================================================
the part about dreams and a sad life
ok so anyways, when i came home, i really wanted to celebrate. or well, just unwind. or ,, i don;t know ,, just play., .. . go out or something. .. . i don;t know,, i wanted to look for some one to have dinner with or just plain catch a movie,,, with people, real people. i looked at my cell and i realised that " oh shit, theres no one i can call".
damn it. sad life.
so its fine. you can always return home to your trusty notes, they;re always there for you, they don;t move away at their own convenience and give you their listening ear. Even though they love to act like a hard to get b/gf, wanting you to figure them out most of the time.
or otherwise, like me, i chose to go to bed. The cushy looking exterior of it makes you feel comfortable whilst the total silence, and then you won;t feel like leaving its side. somewhat like a true friend. haha. so yes i slept for 5 hours straight, very good recuperation to my energy bank. But sadly, i keep having strange dreams. perhaps i was thinking too much,,,
had a dream about huge rollercoasters with the loops , due to much thinking of [ max GPE and min ke at top of the loop] or what not.
yep. i dreamt that it was more of a high way , people inside a trailer, from different countries, one holding a flag going against some ruling party in the next. i observed someone asking the guy to go into a room when the someone attacked the poor guy and drank his blood. Cannibalistic and gross.. . . . .
after the trailer crashed into a sea. Six of us survived. dad sis i and another family of three. One of them was my secondary school friend -_-. . . .. . . . . we were stranded on an island. at night , there was a high tide in which the water came ashore , totally beyond the coast line and disappeared.... and with a mighty sound of a gushing wave, the waves returned, gushing towards the open sea.
strange strange strange uncanny dreams.
not to mention, it totally exhausts you . . of energy and imagination.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
the part about teachers.
mmmmmmm
i;m feeling pretty relaxed since tuesday,
i think after my body returned to its normal functions, i don;t feel tensed up nemore
yeah,i think the natural order of my body was disrupted the past few weeks before this,, and the strain in my body made me feel so tensed ,, ,ahh i think it caused me to under-perform for math and chem paper 3 .. . .asdfjk
but its ok~.
mrs chan spoke to me the other day.,
she told me she marked the papers.
i could tell from her voice that i didn;t do very well for the paper 1.
was feeling like crap whilst doing the paper that day.
but its ok~ then i told her that i would definitely do well for paper two.
must work damn hard man!! maintain an a for math ah , , i;d be pretty devastated if i don;t
i learned that i canonot ignore that soft prompt in my heart.. super costly and super important lesson . . . .
you know, today , !! AHHHHHHHHHhh i was so lame!!!! to calculate amount in Mole, u should use grammes right? ?? yeah!! initially i did!!! and then i became suspicious and then i changed my answers! muddle headed -0-~~~~~~~ another question for chem involved reactions of X- ( halogen ion) with conc H2so4!biang. even though i thought of all the formation of HI gas and what not immediately. Stupidly, i dismissed the thought immediately and skipped the question.. . .. .. . ahhh should have wrote down the answer. stupidly scribbled " no rxn" and rushed to the next question.. . .. cannot be so lazy next time. .. . . . . . . . should think through more thoroughly . .
happened twice this week leh,, first time occurring with the uncertainty question for physics.
but its ok. i shan;t ignore that soft prompting in my heart/mind again.
kkk ,, shall spam math and physics this weekend.
i remembered something from year 2006.
" Mr t@n. yep! i promise, sure get A1 for physics ,,,i think still can "
i remember how he changed my life. i remember how he made me think through my actions, i remember how he told me not to be so impatient with myself. i remember so clearly.
i remember , , , kk
" sorry mr tan, i got an A2, even though i promised an A1".
He said it was ok,,, but now, i know that its ok becuase i realised that perhaps, the grade be considered a blessing. Considering the vast amount of things and how much i still need to find out and understand about about this awesome science, i think theres still much space for me to improve . Much space.
must be stricter to myself,
i will earn the grade which i work for.
if a gold medalist won a medal by sheer luck and without real skill, i think he won;t feel good bearing the medal anyway.
ok i am determined to get the A and then i will tell Mr.T that i finally did it .
i love physics and i always will love it, even though its tough, i love whatever i do and i do whatever i do because i choose to. . . i will earn what i work hard for. i won;t give up so easily.
the part about becoming older.
-----------------------------------------------------
as august draws to a closure, September is coming. . and so i almost forgot that i;m gonna be 18 this year. . . . ,, i don;t feel any sense of excitement in particular.so what if you can watch certain movies legally, its no big deal, considering that you don;t even get to watch movies often.
perhaps i;m starting to feel really discouraged by the fact that there is increasing number of people who are treating other people;s birthday celebrations without respect. i wonder if its just becuase i have never experienced it in my life? or perhaps its just that its always happening but i am just caring too much? or what not ,, i don;t know. .. . but its seriously sad to see.
yeah after witnessing countless numbers of birthday celebrations. . .. .
i remember
"what are you doing here today? "
and oh i remember
this guy was making a birthday wish and, oh some one decided to complain and sigh about his workplace right infront of the boy, whilst he was making a wish.
oh and i remember
people are playing the PSP whilst someone is blowing out the candles.
oh and i remember,
looking and talking and catching up with your other friends while he was sharing his wish with everyone. Can you imagine his feeling when he see;s you being disinterested in his very personal wish? ? ?
oh and i remember
making him have to do all the work on his birthday.
oh and i remember
having someone to keep calling and scold you whilst you are blowing out the candles!!!!! yay how exciting.
. .. . . . .
anti climatic i tell you.
super discouraged by such actions,,,, a little inappropriate can..
you can disagree with it, its fine with me as long as you don;t mind people being like this.
and i hope mom doesn;t start complaining infront of the table like last year.
super discouraging.
i guess this is one of the reasons of how disappointing people's actions can be
if at this point of time you don;t feel it , then i don;t think you can imagine the situation.
i guess this is one of the reasons why we stop injecting feelings into such things.
why we stop expecting
why we start to disconnect.
wake me up when september ends.
the part about improving myself
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
memorise definitions properly and throughly.
think throughly through the questions
be more certain.
practice more@
cannot so be easily disheartened
love what i do!
press on!!!
what we could have been, 7:43 AM.
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
"It's gonna take some time, to realize
But if you look inside, I'm sure you'll find
Over your shoulder you know that, I told you
I'll always be pickin' you up when you're down
So just turn around " he sings
------------------------------------------
fold your arms
close your eyes and rest. rest rest.
listen to the sounds around
listen to your heartbeat
how fast how heavily how softly
------------------------------
look to the ground as your walk
shift your weight from left to right
look at your feet
look at the ground you tread on.
how it sinks into the ground.
how the wind blows and the foot print is still there or not.
the humble beginnings
the difficult paths
the impact
the mark.
-----------------------------------------
lets observe.
and don't be so suprised with what you've found.
-----------------------------------------
you always want something
something to happen
you always wonder
wonder how. wonder what .
you always hope
you always wish
but you fail to see that
you didn;t even take any action
--------------------------------------------------------------
hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
so i;m so random.
just,, maybe i;m feeling rather listless. orrr,,,,,, mhm m mhahh
hhhh
okok better do something!
something useful
hahah i wasted enough life.
study study study chem study
hhhhhhhhhhhhh
i think i;ll stop interneting sometime.
things die.
But if you look inside, I'm sure you'll find
Over your shoulder you know that, I told you
I'll always be pickin' you up when you're down
So just turn around " he sings
------------------------------------------
fold your arms
close your eyes and rest. rest rest.
listen to the sounds around
listen to your heartbeat
how fast how heavily how softly
------------------------------
look to the ground as your walk
shift your weight from left to right
look at your feet
look at the ground you tread on.
how it sinks into the ground.
how the wind blows and the foot print is still there or not.
the humble beginnings
the difficult paths
the impact
the mark.
-----------------------------------------
lets observe.
and don't be so suprised with what you've found.
-----------------------------------------
you always want something
something to happen
you always wonder
wonder how. wonder what .
you always hope
you always wish
but you fail to see that
you didn;t even take any action
--------------------------------------------------------------
hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
so i;m so random.
just,, maybe i;m feeling rather listless. orrr,,,,,, mhm m mhahh
hhhh
okok better do something!
something useful
hahah i wasted enough life.
study study study chem study
hhhhhhhhhhhhh
i think i;ll stop interneting sometime.
things die.
what we could have been, 10:44 PM.
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
when u grow up u wanna be ?? ? ?u wanna be on M0vies?
LOL!!!!!!
so this song, its so funny!!
i don;t like it personally, but it brings back memories. haha
in malaysia, we wake up to mtv and hear this song. haha~
ohhhhh i miss it.
anyways. before i start talking about non interesting things,
i uploaded a list of songs! hahah
i didn;t really know i like em-_- but then ,,, just when i listen to them on the computer, they sound so different , and nice ? haha soooooooooo just ,, listen~~
hhh
at three am yesterday i finally put down my notes and went to sleep
good thing i felt pretty alright this morning~
the physics paper was hmm,, , ,, , ok.
i am pretty pleased with the speed,
i thought it was impossible , 8 questions in two hours?
but somehow, i managed to get to the last question, , although, , ,, i think i compromised the quality of the work with speed.
i managed to attempt almost all the questions, but then i didn;t do them carefully.
ah~@@
for uncertainty, i was uncertain whether to multiply the area by a 1/4 and a flashback of an example i saw in my notes previously came to my mind. Even though i was uncertain about that uncertainty example to be a certain formula i should apply, i didn;t pay much attention to the uncertainty in my heart and multiplied the area by 1/4, which i think, caused the current answer and optimum marks to be quite uncertain now.
anddddddddddddddddddddddd
i think i pressed the calculator wrongly and divided a very small number instead of multiplying it, and i got ( no of bright fringes = 5800 ) -_-/.
but its ok
learn lessons painfully.
can improve by
knowing all definitions by heart, or as we describe it in chinese, back of palm. 了如指掌
pay attention to the small details in the notes.
press calculator properly.
do faster and more carefully
memorize definitions.
hmm ok i am gonna prepare well for the next paper
gonna go through chemistry and
SLEEP EARLY TOMORROW!
whahahaha
some time now, i want to watch the $ntenough,
does anyone want to watch it ?? ah~~
you know, now i know, whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
whyyyyyyyyyy i was so ~~~~~~~~
because, i felt like you were someone whom i wanted to be like
an ideal self i keep failing to create
an ideal self which i once felt like a hypocrite to be
an ideal self i wish to become
an ideal self i could be when i let go.
an ideal self i;m still trying to become.
and i guess u showed me what.
kkk
what we could have been, 11:27 PM.
Sunday, August 17, 2008
. . .. whiny cry baby
cant smile laugh talk eat properly .
ulcers, although, are small sores, but highly irritatable.
the alarm went off this morning.
radio dj was talking about m0oncake boxes and started asking WHY do you think the box is . . . . WHY why why , i wonder if its the bombardment of questions which made my head throb like nuts this morning. Whilst her talking about boxes and wrappings , my mind was thinking about SrF2 , transition metals. , . blah blah and compounds
so queasy by the time i was in school.
hurled Hcl. ew.
i was too complacent
and too slow
too slow.
he says that exams are a test of your speed of recall
i understand now.
i;m way too slow
i;m not strict with myself, not strict enough.
i must work 100 times harder.
i must be 2 times faster.
i must be much stricter with myself
i must be .
cant smile laugh talk eat properly .
ulcers, although, are small sores, but highly irritatable.
the alarm went off this morning.
radio dj was talking about m0oncake boxes and started asking WHY do you think the box is . . . . WHY why why , i wonder if its the bombardment of questions which made my head throb like nuts this morning. Whilst her talking about boxes and wrappings , my mind was thinking about SrF2 , transition metals. , . blah blah and compounds
so queasy by the time i was in school.
hurled Hcl. ew.
i was too complacent
and too slow
too slow.
he says that exams are a test of your speed of recall
i understand now.
i;m way too slow
i;m not strict with myself, not strict enough.
i must work 100 times harder.
i must be 2 times faster.
i must be much stricter with myself
i must be .
what we could have been, 8:55 PM.
Thursday, August 14, 2008
i had lunch at PH with hl,nel,thom and Yf today.
haha super funny when i asked them to read the literally english chinese words!! haha
apparently they are too li hai in chinese that they didn;t catch it. kkkkk
something like
戏优 图莫柔 ~~
or , 袜卡了共戏密？？
hahahha~~ when you read it aloud, it sounds so funny! LOL
anyways......... . .
i will not settle for anything less than what i worked so hard to achieve.
i worked so hard for it
i am still working hard for IT.
and it feels like its not yielding any results.
so annoying. but its alright.
I WILL GET IT.
math today was really disappointing,
i know that i can do it!!
i know it!!!
but then i was too careless
way too careless. !! >: !!!!!!@#
come on lorh
partial fractions leh!!!! what the hell
cover up rule only leh!!!!!!!!
how can i mistake 1 with HALF!?
SO stupid!!!!!!
i was slow,
too too slow.
ah@!#!@# T_T...
sigh, its really costly to be careless
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@.....................................
Its alright, its ok.
i will change.
my lifestyle is so unhealthy now!!
sometimes it feels so unbearable T_T....................
i didn;t step out of the house for 6 days b4 the exam and so much happened.
my colour is pale as if i am sickly
my body rejects when i eat in the morning
i;ve no appetite on mornings yet i can spam food on afternoons.
i then bloat and puke at night.
i can;t breathe properly at nights like something;s in my throat
my eyes can;t seem to tolerate light from the table lamp
my left eye is twitching and i still don;t see good luck ?
my mind is active and inactive at the wrong time. lol
i dream about differentiation .
and all the time, i feel like my body;s constricted by something
i feel so uncomfortable in my own skin
arrrgh
it feels so weird and sometimes it feels so unbearable ...
so so unbearable.............. ㅠ.ㅠ
so difficult,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
why must i have to handle such physical problems at this point of time-
deviation of concentration man..
i hope such irregularities will stop occurring soon
i really hope.
to be able to cope with all that until today,
i guess it explains a lot.
i;m really too thankful to you for praying for me
i am really suprised for how much faith you have in me..
thank God. thank you.
better get off the comp.
fight on
fight on .. . .
haha super funny when i asked them to read the literally english chinese words!! haha
apparently they are too li hai in chinese that they didn;t catch it. kkkkk
something like
戏优 图莫柔 ~~
or , 袜卡了共戏密？？
hahahha~~ when you read it aloud, it sounds so funny! LOL
anyways......... . .
i will not settle for anything less than what i worked so hard to achieve.
i worked so hard for it
i am still working hard for IT.
and it feels like its not yielding any results.
so annoying. but its alright.
I WILL GET IT.
math today was really disappointing,
i know that i can do it!!
i know it!!!
but then i was too careless
way too careless. !! >: !!!!!!@#
come on lorh
partial fractions leh!!!! what the hell
cover up rule only leh!!!!!!!!
how can i mistake 1 with HALF!?
SO stupid!!!!!!
i was slow,
too too slow.
ah@!#!@# T_T...
sigh, its really costly to be careless
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@.....................................
Its alright, its ok.
i will change.
my lifestyle is so unhealthy now!!
sometimes it feels so unbearable T_T....................
i didn;t step out of the house for 6 days b4 the exam and so much happened.
my colour is pale as if i am sickly
my body rejects when i eat in the morning
i;ve no appetite on mornings yet i can spam food on afternoons.
i then bloat and puke at night.
i can;t breathe properly at nights like something;s in my throat
my eyes can;t seem to tolerate light from the table lamp
my left eye is twitching and i still don;t see good luck ?
my mind is active and inactive at the wrong time. lol
i dream about differentiation .
and all the time, i feel like my body;s constricted by something
i feel so uncomfortable in my own skin
arrrgh
it feels so weird and sometimes it feels so unbearable ...
so so unbearable.............. ㅠ.ㅠ
so difficult,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
why must i have to handle such physical problems at this point of time-
deviation of concentration man..
i hope such irregularities will stop occurring soon
i really hope.
to be able to cope with all that until today,
i guess it explains a lot.
i;m really too thankful to you for praying for me
i am really suprised for how much faith you have in me..
thank God. thank you.
better get off the comp.
fight on
fight on .. . .
what we could have been, 9:36 AM.
Sunday, August 10, 2008
你正在上网吗？？？
你读完书了没？不是该花这段时间去读书？？
왜 공부하지안하니 ? ?? @
Shouldn;t you be studying ? ? ? ?
haha high opportunity cost incurred leh., ,, kk. ..
nagging at myself again. ...
早上我生病了
觉得好辛苦哦。
这几天，， ，
我觉得，，， 心理十分内疚哦。
我一直一错再错。。
不知怎样悔改
面对事实，面对着后果，也算是应该的。
这几天，
天天夜夜都呆在桌子上,
拼命地读书,. . 可是一夜过了,就觉得没做到什么.
头发乱了,脑袋好像放慢了一点.
书房也乱七八糟。
飞到我房里的虫都被我无情地打／杀死了。
哈哈～自己也好像变成书虫。
这次的会考，
虽然练习的时间好像不足够
但没关系。！我会一直坚持到底！发出类拔萃的精神！~~ 《哈哈我的记忆好像不错哦~， 蛮意外哦，小数学辛辛苦苦背起来的华文成语也能记得住。〉哈哈。
从头到尾，老师们都说
“只要你consistent，就好了”
那么我就期望着好的成绩。
好吧。。 。
我浪费够时间了
好好，该回到战场
埋头苦干， 废寝忘食。哈哈哈～～～
嗯， 就这样决定。
要依靠自己
我会胜利的·！
你读完书了没？不是该花这段时间去读书？？
왜 공부하지안하니 ? ?? @
Shouldn;t you be studying ? ? ? ?
haha high opportunity cost incurred leh., ,, kk. ..
nagging at myself again. ...
早上我生病了
觉得好辛苦哦。
这几天，， ，
我觉得，，， 心理十分内疚哦。
我一直一错再错。。
不知怎样悔改
面对事实，面对着后果，也算是应该的。
这几天，
天天夜夜都呆在桌子上,
拼命地读书,. . 可是一夜过了,就觉得没做到什么.
头发乱了,脑袋好像放慢了一点.
书房也乱七八糟。
飞到我房里的虫都被我无情地打／杀死了。
哈哈～自己也好像变成书虫。
这次的会考，
虽然练习的时间好像不足够
但没关系。！我会一直坚持到底！发出类拔萃的精神！~~ 《哈哈我的记忆好像不错哦~， 蛮意外哦，小数学辛辛苦苦背起来的华文成语也能记得住。〉哈哈。
从头到尾，老师们都说
“只要你consistent，就好了”
那么我就期望着好的成绩。
好吧。。 。
我浪费够时间了
好好，该回到战场
埋头苦干， 废寝忘食。哈哈哈～～～
嗯， 就这样决定。
要依靠自己
我会胜利的·！
what we could have been, 7:55 PM.
Friday, August 8, 2008
"I'll be on your side 함께 할게
I'll give you my hand 내 손을 잡고 일어나
눈물이 마를 때까지 나의 어깨에 기대서 쉬렴
다시 일어나 웃는 니 모습을 기다릴게"
the "I love Asia" project. To help the refugees from the earthquake in China.
i came across this song while watching K.Bs the other day
i think that its really beautiful@ and touching.
though its really demoralizing when people just care about
" OMG! SO SO SO AND SO IS IN THE VIDEO!!!!!"
but lets ignore them shall we.
its really good to know that there are people out there who sincerely care about others , doing things for a good cause.
these few days,
i don;t know why, but i keep seeing really beautiful simple things around.
i can't explain the feeling, but its refreshing.
i feel like i am indebted to so many things suddenly.
kk its like, as if, there are so many things we can do for everything around us .
today i made a goal for myself
today i rededicated myself
today i was reminded again, whilst watching a local show.
/,,back then, he said " whenever she comes again, just say you do not know her, don't touch whatever she gives you. don't even open the door".. . . . . .
i can;t really remember what he said exactly.. ,
but i am really glad that i didn;t even get a chance to decide if i wanted to or not.
i would have felt guilty now if i really did it then
today, i made a decision
today, i got irritated with math
today i finally settled down from being playful. kk
today i set my heart to it.
today, , , , , ,,
now, i must wake up.
坚持到底！！
할수있어!!!
what we could have been, 8:59 AM.
Thursday, August 7, 2008
mukatsuku -0-.
ah~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
i can;t believe that within a few short months i forgot everything@@_@~
T_T. so --- annoying,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
i feel so disconnected from everything
can;t even breath properly
can;t even think properly
i feel like i am spacing out
can;t connect with the words i am reading
i feel so @@@
i could solve it before and now i can;t!!!
what the hell.
super 7 i tell you.
so strange
so empty
so shell like
ifakemysmile.
thats really it.
ah~~
ah~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
i can;t believe that within a few short months i forgot everything@@_@~
T_T. so --- annoying,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
i feel so disconnected from everything
can;t even breath properly
can;t even think properly
i feel like i am spacing out
can;t connect with the words i am reading
i feel so @@@
i could solve it before and now i can;t!!!
what the hell.
super 7 i tell you.
so strange
so empty
so shell like
ifakemysmile.
thats really it.
ah~~
what we could have been, 11:05 AM.
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
너무 힘들어 ㅠ.ㅠ
but, i cannot give up right?
thats just not me!
so what if i am forgetful
but i will learn to be hardworking
believe that you are able
believe that you can!
if you want to get to the top , you must start from the bottom
even if people don;t think you can,
you know its not true
its gonna be a arduous journey.
but thats what an adventure is.
but, i cannot give up right?
thats just not me!
so what if i am forgetful
but i will learn to be hardworking
believe that you are able
believe that you can!
if you want to get to the top , you must start from the bottom
even if people don;t think you can,
you know its not true
its gonna be a arduous journey.
but thats what an adventure is.
what we could have been, 6:52 PM.
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
ok i know i am investing my time in the wrong things
yeah. one shouldn;t pin such high hopes on such things
one shouldn;t be so stuck in the moment
one shouldn;t be so slack
one shouldn;t bother fostering such relationships
why should one bother ? ? ? ??? ?
wth man seriously.
can you please stfu ? ? ? ? ?? ? ?
yeah i wish i could STFU but
nooooooo..
ps,. dont give me F@!#ing excuses
give me something real@
don;t waste my time.
>: |
sigh. ok to end off my "optimistic streak ", with a pessimistic view
it really felt good to be really optimistic again,
but of course "all good things come to an end "
for a pessimist, i;m pretty optimistic still
shh keep quiet now,
study. . . . . .
yeah. one shouldn;t pin such high hopes on such things
one shouldn;t be so stuck in the moment
one shouldn;t be so slack
one shouldn;t bother fostering such relationships
why should one bother ? ? ? ??? ?
wth man seriously.
can you please stfu ? ? ? ? ?? ? ?
yeah i wish i could STFU but
nooooooo..
ps,. dont give me F@!#ing excuses
give me something real@
don;t waste my time.
>: |
sigh. ok to end off my "optimistic streak ", with a pessimistic view
it really felt good to be really optimistic again,
but of course "all good things come to an end "
for a pessimist, i;m pretty optimistic still
shh keep quiet now,
study. . . . . .
what we could have been, 7:09 AM.
Monday, August 4, 2008
USIRP~ been cheered up for the past few days.
can;t really get used to the pace of life again, for an instance i almost forgot that i was part of this busy lifestyle before i left. What wonders 5 days away from home can do to you. its only one week before the prelims and i am actually more relaxed about it than ever!
i mean seriously, ive been sleeping and using the comp since i got home on sat and i;ve been taking things wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy to playfully.
haha thats strange on my part, i;ve been missing the whole challenge period since saturday : (
don;t even feel like coming back!! it was so fun! and really awesome,, , , ,, , i hope that our zest and enthusiasm won;t die down. funny, the facebook account is so alive please. hhaa
i miss everyone, i miss being woken up by malay music on the radio, c@ibei throwing the pillow at me to get me up, watching z.ming doing strange things at the dining table, watching nic get suanned by almost everyone, talking to everyone on bus trips, playing bang bang bang bang bang who died !! kind of games, observing everyone trying to observe the game patterns and achieving the "ultimate" feeling, playing with everyone, play play play play play ~~~ taking pictures , taking funny pictures!! gosh filtering the different accents , listeing to my own accent change from left right centre SLANG!, haha , pose for pictures, acting cute freely for once! pose for more pictures!!! hahahaha talking to aya and ami on bus trips, listen to the funny things the hk guys say to each other, hahaha stoning , listening to the funny thigns that people say to each other, esp the d@niel and HER.man and d|cky saying strange things to each other ,, ahahah super funny!! LOL,,,,,,,,,,, omtiannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn i really don;t feel like coming home T_T
really miss it lah,,,
but well, its time to return back to reality,
better start mugging, prelims le leh, no joke .. . ..
realised how lost i am,, but i will find my way,
"its gonna take some time to realise~~ "
been having really strange dreams nowadays, though i;m feeling relatively at peace,, but its just that perhaps i;m too relaxed about everything else, don;t know why.
Strange dreams, i;ve been dreaming about stuff like falling into a deep abyss and then praying really loudly for God's Forgiveness. i;ve been dreaming about suffocating, i dream that i am aware that i am talking in my sleep but i can;t wake up or move at all . sometimes i think i am moving , but i can;t move ,yet i am fully aware of whats happening around me, strange things, really strange.... . i can;t really explain anything now
i must be patient for my time will come
i must be persevering, for then i will finish
i must be happy, for my own sake
i must, not expect too much from others
i must ~~~
must not give up. must not lose hope.
must fight on ! must!
: ) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
thank you for your compliment and your help! : )
can;t really get used to the pace of life again, for an instance i almost forgot that i was part of this busy lifestyle before i left. What wonders 5 days away from home can do to you. its only one week before the prelims and i am actually more relaxed about it than ever!
i mean seriously, ive been sleeping and using the comp since i got home on sat and i;ve been taking things wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy to playfully.
haha thats strange on my part, i;ve been missing the whole challenge period since saturday : (
don;t even feel like coming back!! it was so fun! and really awesome,, , , ,, , i hope that our zest and enthusiasm won;t die down. funny, the facebook account is so alive please. hhaa
i miss everyone, i miss being woken up by malay music on the radio, c@ibei throwing the pillow at me to get me up, watching z.ming doing strange things at the dining table, watching nic get suanned by almost everyone, talking to everyone on bus trips, playing bang bang bang bang bang who died !! kind of games, observing everyone trying to observe the game patterns and achieving the "ultimate" feeling, playing with everyone, play play play play play ~~~ taking pictures , taking funny pictures!! gosh filtering the different accents , listeing to my own accent change from left right centre SLANG!, haha , pose for pictures, acting cute freely for once! pose for more pictures!!! hahahaha talking to aya and ami on bus trips, listen to the funny things the hk guys say to each other, hahaha stoning , listening to the funny thigns that people say to each other, esp the d@niel and HER.man and d|cky saying strange things to each other ,, ahahah super funny!! LOL,,,,,,,,,,, omtiannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn i really don;t feel like coming home T_T
really miss it lah,,,
but well, its time to return back to reality,
better start mugging, prelims le leh, no joke .. . ..
realised how lost i am,, but i will find my way,
"its gonna take some time to realise~~ "
been having really strange dreams nowadays, though i;m feeling relatively at peace,, but its just that perhaps i;m too relaxed about everything else, don;t know why.
Strange dreams, i;ve been dreaming about stuff like falling into a deep abyss and then praying really loudly for God's Forgiveness. i;ve been dreaming about suffocating, i dream that i am aware that i am talking in my sleep but i can;t wake up or move at all . sometimes i think i am moving , but i can;t move ,yet i am fully aware of whats happening around me, strange things, really strange.... . i can;t really explain anything now
i must be patient for my time will come
i must be persevering, for then i will finish
i must be happy, for my own sake
i must, not expect too much from others
i must ~~~
must not give up. must not lose hope.
must fight on ! must!
: ) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
thank you for your compliment and your help! : )
what we could have been, 8:17 AM.
Saturday, August 2, 2008
sexy;s back!! hahahaha
i mean I'M BACK!!!!!!!!!!!! hahahahahhahaha
this is gonna be an informal and extremely brief recount from me k, not time la,
yes! was away from 29th july to first aug, i bet sh@ron has tonnes of homework to stack me to death with on monday !
AWESOME trip i tell you! it was really enlightening for me, and the experiences and things i ;ve learned and friends i;ve made,, all these things are so invaluable. The stereotypes i had with me before the trip are now gone, and so has my perspective towards certain things in the world have changed.
Yes and also , i don;t feel inferior anymore, my confidence is really built up and i really feel that every single individual have endless possibilities that they can create for themselves. My eyes- less slit like than that of some japs, and smaller than usual ones- have been opened and are seeing a little differently now.
one thing they taught us which was important
" don;t say the word cheap, use the word inexpensive"
my sister then said to me
" see, tell you say affordable liao."
hahaha~
macham paparrazzi like that,,
Wow there were so many cameramen and they were just snapping away! every minute every day!
people using the computer - snap
people researching furiously! - snap!
people eating - SNAP snap
people from different countries eating together- SNAP SNAP SNAP !!
-an embarrassingly flipping large pimple grew on my right cheek on the second day lah!!!! T_T!!!!!!!! super big i tell you. : ( given the number of photos taken , i don;t thing it was missed : ( my inferior camera could also capture it : ((
haha,~i;ve got to say so many things!! but i;ve got such little time! couldn;t afford the time to study or look at my notes there -0-! Great blessing in disguise, gotta thank God for that. I was really stressed and depressed before my trip, and now i feel super different, confident and really happy : ) Gosh i don;t regret agreeing to my sister one bit.
Thank FED3X and J@ for the opportunity , Ting for asking me in the beginning, thank you super awesome eye drop idea which got us the winning position in SG, thank you DJ and EJ for your advice from the beginning,! my dearest awesome family and friends who were so supportive of us from beginning to the end, thank you!!
last thing. MAN! sg and msia really near MAN!! take flight macham take bus to school . <45 onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjw6ZawnKjMxK0hEYAYMJdlphQqmC9zy8Cz8gSkVdjPn5i_g9xAOlXmC_hcCWzN4256NpqLOjUq1HIiUsnaluXUV3vOd1EP1xQtfHFW0JfSHabO3JYCAQ92TEnJpLf0sd10OBhFF2qjEhE/s1600-h/Image593.jpg">
STONE!
sleeping while queuing
stone.
STONE O_O
hh, STONE and -__-stone.
hh slit eyes and eye bags.
ok~ better go study noW~~ don;t worry, i will do a more formal recount and also put the rest of the pics, IF i have time : )
meanwhile , byebye!
i mean I'M BACK!!!!!!!!!!!! hahahahahhahaha
this is gonna be an informal and extremely brief recount from me k, not time la,
yes! was away from 29th july to first aug, i bet sh@ron has tonnes of homework to stack me to death with on monday !
AWESOME trip i tell you! it was really enlightening for me, and the experiences and things i ;ve learned and friends i;ve made,, all these things are so invaluable. The stereotypes i had with me before the trip are now gone, and so has my perspective towards certain things in the world have changed.
Yes and also , i don;t feel inferior anymore, my confidence is really built up and i really feel that every single individual have endless possibilities that they can create for themselves. My eyes- less slit like than that of some japs, and smaller than usual ones- have been opened and are seeing a little differently now.
one thing they taught us which was important
" don;t say the word cheap, use the word inexpensive"
my sister then said to me
" see, tell you say affordable liao."
hahaha~
macham paparrazzi like that,,
Wow there were so many cameramen and they were just snapping away! every minute every day!
people using the computer - snap
people researching furiously! - snap!
people eating - SNAP snap
people from different countries eating together- SNAP SNAP SNAP !!
-an embarrassingly flipping large pimple grew on my right cheek on the second day lah!!!! T_T!!!!!!!! super big i tell you. : ( given the number of photos taken , i don;t thing it was missed : ( my inferior camera could also capture it : ((
haha,~i;ve got to say so many things!! but i;ve got such little time! couldn;t afford the time to study or look at my notes there -0-! Great blessing in disguise, gotta thank God for that. I was really stressed and depressed before my trip, and now i feel super different, confident and really happy : ) Gosh i don;t regret agreeing to my sister one bit.
Thank FED3X and J@ for the opportunity , Ting for asking me in the beginning, thank you super awesome eye drop idea which got us the winning position in SG, thank you DJ and EJ for your advice from the beginning,! my dearest awesome family and friends who were so supportive of us from beginning to the end, thank you!!
last thing. MAN! sg and msia really near MAN!! take flight macham take bus to school . <45 onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjw6ZawnKjMxK0hEYAYMJdlphQqmC9zy8Cz8gSkVdjPn5i_g9xAOlXmC_hcCWzN4256NpqLOjUq1HIiUsnaluXUV3vOd1EP1xQtfHFW0JfSHabO3JYCAQ92TEnJpLf0sd10OBhFF2qjEhE/s1600-h/Image593.jpg">
STONE!
sleeping while queuing
stone.
STONE O_O
hh, STONE and -__-stone.
hh slit eyes and eye bags.
ok~ better go study noW~~ don;t worry, i will do a more formal recount and also put the rest of the pics, IF i have time : )
meanwhile , byebye!
what we could have been, 6:33 PM.
