Friday, August 22, 2008
the part about being a girl.
---------------------------------------------------------
oh my tianZxXxs?
hahahahahahaha
the PCD song is really super super super super addictive
every single time, i tell myself that " this is a stupid song, don;t like it at all man"
but eventually, i will succumb and go
" OK !! fine the song is so addictive!!!"
hahaha~~
andddddddddddddddddddddddddddd
AHHhahahaha~~~ D.bell is super cute with glasses!! kk k k k k k!
SUPER CUTE!!!!!!!!
even though he may not look so attractive in the pics,, but videos don;t lie!! hahahah!
anyways. back to the nonsensical mundane things. . . k k
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
the part about meaninglessness.
Naemudai.. . . .. .
i came home today, my feeling is pretty happy. elated. what not.
i had an intention to visit my dad;s today too... .. but then,, someone asked me this recently. . .
" go also for what". . . ..
it just made me feel like my time has been wasted all this years. well though i didn;t feel so during all these years. but the reactions, i mean, my purpose of going, after so many years, is unclear and questioned by other people. it then shows that even others don;t see the point of me going there. so now, i just feel like its meaningless.
it just makes me feel that i could have better spent my time all these while.
but its ok, absence makes the heart grows fonder. or perhaps, in the present day, things are always known to work the other way. Perhaps a de attachment makes it easier for you to move away after many years. I guess this is why some people can work overseas for so long and not care about their parents in their home country. Sad case , but it happens right.
===============================================================
the part about dreams and a sad life
ok so anyways, when i came home, i really wanted to celebrate. or well, just unwind. or ,, i don;t know ,, just play., .. . go out or something. .. . i don;t know,, i wanted to look for some one to have dinner with or just plain catch a movie,,, with people, real people. i looked at my cell and i realised that " oh shit, theres no one i can call".
damn it. sad life.
so its fine. you can always return home to your trusty notes, they;re always there for you, they don;t move away at their own convenience and give you their listening ear. Even though they love to act like a hard to get b/gf, wanting you to figure them out most of the time.
or otherwise, like me, i chose to go to bed. The cushy looking exterior of it makes you feel comfortable whilst the total silence, and then you won;t feel like leaving its side. somewhat like a true friend. haha. so yes i slept for 5 hours straight, very good recuperation to my energy bank. But sadly, i keep having strange dreams. perhaps i was thinking too much,,,
had a dream about huge rollercoasters with the loops , due to much thinking of [ max GPE and min ke at top of the loop] or what not.
yep. i dreamt that it was more of a high way , people inside a trailer, from different countries, one holding a flag going against some ruling party in the next. i observed someone asking the guy to go into a room when the someone attacked the poor guy and drank his blood. Cannibalistic and gross.. . . . .
after the trailer crashed into a sea. Six of us survived. dad sis i and another family of three. One of them was my secondary school friend -_-. . . .. . . . . we were stranded on an island. at night , there was a high tide in which the water came ashore , totally beyond the coast line and disappeared.... and with a mighty sound of a gushing wave, the waves returned, gushing towards the open sea.
strange strange strange uncanny dreams.
not to mention, it totally exhausts you . . of energy and imagination.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
the part about teachers.
mmmmmmm
i;m feeling pretty relaxed since tuesday,
i think after my body returned to its normal functions, i don;t feel tensed up nemore
yeah,i think the natural order of my body was disrupted the past few weeks before this,, and the strain in my body made me feel so tensed ,, ,ahh i think it caused me to under-perform for math and chem paper 3 .. . .asdfjk
but its ok~.
mrs chan spoke to me the other day.,
she told me she marked the papers.
i could tell from her voice that i didn;t do very well for the paper 1.
was feeling like crap whilst doing the paper that day.
but its ok~ then i told her that i would definitely do well for paper two.
must work damn hard man!! maintain an a for math ah , , i;d be pretty devastated if i don;t
i learned that i canonot ignore that soft prompt in my heart.. super costly and super important lesson . . . .
you know, today , !! AHHHHHHHHHhh i was so lame!!!! to calculate amount in Mole, u should use grammes right? ?? yeah!! initially i did!!! and then i became suspicious and then i changed my answers! muddle headed -0-~~~~~~~ another question for chem involved reactions of X- ( halogen ion) with conc H2so4!biang. even though i thought of all the formation of HI gas and what not immediately. Stupidly, i dismissed the thought immediately and skipped the question.. . .. .. . ahhh should have wrote down the answer. stupidly scribbled " no rxn" and rushed to the next question.. . .. cannot be so lazy next time. .. . . . . . . . should think through more thoroughly . .
happened twice this week leh,, first time occurring with the uncertainty question for physics.
but its ok. i shan;t ignore that soft prompting in my heart/mind again.
kkk ,, shall spam math and physics this weekend.
i remembered something from year 2006.
" Mr t@n. yep! i promise, sure get A1 for physics ,,,i think still can "
i remember how he changed my life. i remember how he made me think through my actions, i remember how he told me not to be so impatient with myself. i remember so clearly.
i remember , , , kk
" sorry mr tan, i got an A2, even though i promised an A1".
He said it was ok,,, but now, i know that its ok becuase i realised that perhaps, the grade be considered a blessing. Considering the vast amount of things and how much i still need to find out and understand about about this awesome science, i think theres still much space for me to improve . Much space.
must be stricter to myself,
i will earn the grade which i work for.
if a gold medalist won a medal by sheer luck and without real skill, i think he won;t feel good bearing the medal anyway.
ok i am determined to get the A and then i will tell Mr.T that i finally did it .
i love physics and i always will love it, even though its tough, i love whatever i do and i do whatever i do because i choose to. . . i will earn what i work hard for. i won;t give up so easily.
the part about becoming older.
-----------------------------------------------------
as august draws to a closure, September is coming. . and so i almost forgot that i;m gonna be 18 this year. . . . ,, i don;t feel any sense of excitement in particular.so what if you can watch certain movies legally, its no big deal, considering that you don;t even get to watch movies often.
perhaps i;m starting to feel really discouraged by the fact that there is increasing number of people who are treating other people;s birthday celebrations without respect. i wonder if its just becuase i have never experienced it in my life? or perhaps its just that its always happening but i am just caring too much? or what not ,, i don;t know. .. . but its seriously sad to see.
yeah after witnessing countless numbers of birthday celebrations. . .. .
i remember
"what are you doing here today? "
and oh i remember
this guy was making a birthday wish and, oh some one decided to complain and sigh about his workplace right infront of the boy, whilst he was making a wish.
oh and i remember
people are playing the PSP whilst someone is blowing out the candles.
oh and i remember,
looking and talking and catching up with your other friends while he was sharing his wish with everyone. Can you imagine his feeling when he see;s you being disinterested in his very personal wish? ? ?
oh and i remember
making him have to do all the work on his birthday.
oh and i remember
having someone to keep calling and scold you whilst you are blowing out the candles!!!!! yay how exciting.
. .. . . . .
anti climatic i tell you.
super discouraged by such actions,,,, a little inappropriate can..
you can disagree with it, its fine with me as long as you don;t mind people being like this.
and i hope mom doesn;t start complaining infront of the table like last year.
super discouraging.
i guess this is one of the reasons of how disappointing people's actions can be
if at this point of time you don;t feel it , then i don;t think you can imagine the situation.
i guess this is one of the reasons why we stop injecting feelings into such things.
why we stop expecting
why we start to disconnect.
wake me up when september ends.
the part about improving myself
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
memorise definitions properly and throughly.
think throughly through the questions
be more certain.
practice more@
cannot so be easily disheartened
love what i do!
press on!!!
---------------------------------------------------------
oh my tianZxXxs?
hahahahahahaha
the PCD song is really super super super super addictive
every single time, i tell myself that " this is a stupid song, don;t like it at all man"
but eventually, i will succumb and go
" OK !! fine the song is so addictive!!!"
hahaha~~
andddddddddddddddddddddddddddd
AHHhahahaha~~~ D.bell is super cute with glasses!! kk k k k k k!
SUPER CUTE!!!!!!!!
even though he may not look so attractive in the pics,, but videos don;t lie!! hahahah!
anyways. back to the nonsensical mundane things. . . k k
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
the part about meaninglessness.
Naemudai.. . . .. .
i came home today, my feeling is pretty happy. elated. what not.
i had an intention to visit my dad;s today too... .. but then,, someone asked me this recently. . .
" go also for what". . . ..
it just made me feel like my time has been wasted all this years. well though i didn;t feel so during all these years. but the reactions, i mean, my purpose of going, after so many years, is unclear and questioned by other people. it then shows that even others don;t see the point of me going there. so now, i just feel like its meaningless.
it just makes me feel that i could have better spent my time all these while.
but its ok, absence makes the heart grows fonder. or perhaps, in the present day, things are always known to work the other way. Perhaps a de attachment makes it easier for you to move away after many years. I guess this is why some people can work overseas for so long and not care about their parents in their home country. Sad case , but it happens right.
===============================================================
the part about dreams and a sad life
ok so anyways, when i came home, i really wanted to celebrate. or well, just unwind. or ,, i don;t know ,, just play., .. . go out or something. .. . i don;t know,, i wanted to look for some one to have dinner with or just plain catch a movie,,, with people, real people. i looked at my cell and i realised that " oh shit, theres no one i can call".
damn it. sad life.
so its fine. you can always return home to your trusty notes, they;re always there for you, they don;t move away at their own convenience and give you their listening ear. Even though they love to act like a hard to get b/gf, wanting you to figure them out most of the time.
or otherwise, like me, i chose to go to bed. The cushy looking exterior of it makes you feel comfortable whilst the total silence, and then you won;t feel like leaving its side. somewhat like a true friend. haha. so yes i slept for 5 hours straight, very good recuperation to my energy bank. But sadly, i keep having strange dreams. perhaps i was thinking too much,,,
had a dream about huge rollercoasters with the loops , due to much thinking of [ max GPE and min ke at top of the loop] or what not.
yep. i dreamt that it was more of a high way , people inside a trailer, from different countries, one holding a flag going against some ruling party in the next. i observed someone asking the guy to go into a room when the someone attacked the poor guy and drank his blood. Cannibalistic and gross.. . . . .
after the trailer crashed into a sea. Six of us survived. dad sis i and another family of three. One of them was my secondary school friend -_-. . . .. . . . . we were stranded on an island. at night , there was a high tide in which the water came ashore , totally beyond the coast line and disappeared.... and with a mighty sound of a gushing wave, the waves returned, gushing towards the open sea.
strange strange strange uncanny dreams.
not to mention, it totally exhausts you . . of energy and imagination.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
the part about teachers.
mmmmmmm
i;m feeling pretty relaxed since tuesday,
i think after my body returned to its normal functions, i don;t feel tensed up nemore
yeah,i think the natural order of my body was disrupted the past few weeks before this,, and the strain in my body made me feel so tensed ,, ,ahh i think it caused me to under-perform for math and chem paper 3 .. . .asdfjk
but its ok~.
mrs chan spoke to me the other day.,
she told me she marked the papers.
i could tell from her voice that i didn;t do very well for the paper 1.
was feeling like crap whilst doing the paper that day.
but its ok~ then i told her that i would definitely do well for paper two.
must work damn hard man!! maintain an a for math ah , , i;d be pretty devastated if i don;t
i learned that i canonot ignore that soft prompt in my heart.. super costly and super important lesson . . . .
you know, today , !! AHHHHHHHHHhh i was so lame!!!! to calculate amount in Mole, u should use grammes right? ?? yeah!! initially i did!!! and then i became suspicious and then i changed my answers! muddle headed -0-~~~~~~~ another question for chem involved reactions of X- ( halogen ion) with conc H2so4!biang. even though i thought of all the formation of HI gas and what not immediately. Stupidly, i dismissed the thought immediately and skipped the question.. . .. .. . ahhh should have wrote down the answer. stupidly scribbled " no rxn" and rushed to the next question.. . .. cannot be so lazy next time. .. . . . . . . . should think through more thoroughly . .
happened twice this week leh,, first time occurring with the uncertainty question for physics.
but its ok. i shan;t ignore that soft prompting in my heart/mind again.
kkk ,, shall spam math and physics this weekend.
i remembered something from year 2006.
" Mr t@n. yep! i promise, sure get A1 for physics ,,,i think still can "
i remember how he changed my life. i remember how he made me think through my actions, i remember how he told me not to be so impatient with myself. i remember so clearly.
i remember , , , kk
" sorry mr tan, i got an A2, even though i promised an A1".
He said it was ok,,, but now, i know that its ok becuase i realised that perhaps, the grade be considered a blessing. Considering the vast amount of things and how much i still need to find out and understand about about this awesome science, i think theres still much space for me to improve . Much space.
must be stricter to myself,
i will earn the grade which i work for.
if a gold medalist won a medal by sheer luck and without real skill, i think he won;t feel good bearing the medal anyway.
ok i am determined to get the A and then i will tell Mr.T that i finally did it .
i love physics and i always will love it, even though its tough, i love whatever i do and i do whatever i do because i choose to. . . i will earn what i work hard for. i won;t give up so easily.
the part about becoming older.
-----------------------------------------------------
as august draws to a closure, September is coming. . and so i almost forgot that i;m gonna be 18 this year. . . . ,, i don;t feel any sense of excitement in particular.so what if you can watch certain movies legally, its no big deal, considering that you don;t even get to watch movies often.
perhaps i;m starting to feel really discouraged by the fact that there is increasing number of people who are treating other people;s birthday celebrations without respect. i wonder if its just becuase i have never experienced it in my life? or perhaps its just that its always happening but i am just caring too much? or what not ,, i don;t know. .. . but its seriously sad to see.
yeah after witnessing countless numbers of birthday celebrations. . .. .
i remember
"what are you doing here today? "
and oh i remember
this guy was making a birthday wish and, oh some one decided to complain and sigh about his workplace right infront of the boy, whilst he was making a wish.
oh and i remember
people are playing the PSP whilst someone is blowing out the candles.
oh and i remember,
looking and talking and catching up with your other friends while he was sharing his wish with everyone. Can you imagine his feeling when he see;s you being disinterested in his very personal wish? ? ?
oh and i remember
making him have to do all the work on his birthday.
oh and i remember
having someone to keep calling and scold you whilst you are blowing out the candles!!!!! yay how exciting.
. .. . . . .
anti climatic i tell you.
super discouraged by such actions,,,, a little inappropriate can..
you can disagree with it, its fine with me as long as you don;t mind people being like this.
and i hope mom doesn;t start complaining infront of the table like last year.
super discouraging.
i guess this is one of the reasons of how disappointing people's actions can be
if at this point of time you don;t feel it , then i don;t think you can imagine the situation.
i guess this is one of the reasons why we stop injecting feelings into such things.
why we stop expecting
why we start to disconnect.
wake me up when september ends.
the part about improving myself
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
memorise definitions properly and throughly.
think throughly through the questions
be more certain.
practice more@
cannot so be easily disheartened
love what i do!
press on!!!
what we could have been, 7:43 AM.
