Sunday, April 26, 2009
i was actually really angry.
i think there should have been a better reason as to why i was that angry,
i think there is something to learn.
i should be stronger and not be dented so easily.
when people are angry, they tend to do foolish things, they tend to become irrational,. i think they lose some form of control over themselves. they can;t really think straight.
i think one of the reasons that why some people who mention wanting to start life anew overseas, is to be able to leave everything behind , and then just start anew, and live the way that they think they should . To make it 'perfect' . when i was angry an hour ago, i was thinking like " just accept my application and let me leave everything behind and study overseas. " .. but i guess perhaps, for one to completely abandon the life before in one country thinking they can start anew somewhere else is simply irresponsible. i can't allow this thought to come to my mind anymore.
its ok,
i will Fight on
i will get there.
i promise.;
i make my own clothes,
i make my own stuff.
i don';t need approval.
i think there should have been a better reason as to why i was that angry,
i think there is something to learn.
i should be stronger and not be dented so easily.
when people are angry, they tend to do foolish things, they tend to become irrational,. i think they lose some form of control over themselves. they can;t really think straight.
i think one of the reasons that why some people who mention wanting to start life anew overseas, is to be able to leave everything behind , and then just start anew, and live the way that they think they should . To make it 'perfect' . when i was angry an hour ago, i was thinking like " just accept my application and let me leave everything behind and study overseas. " .. but i guess perhaps, for one to completely abandon the life before in one country thinking they can start anew somewhere else is simply irresponsible. i can't allow this thought to come to my mind anymore.
its ok,
i will Fight on
i will get there.
i promise.;
i make my own clothes,
i make my own stuff.
i don';t need approval.
what we could have been, 10:41 AM.
do people not know how to read body language anymore?
when i have heard your comments about me, and i do not change anything, it obviously mean that i do not really mind about the comments, and i still want to do the things i do,. and how i want to do it. its fine if you tell me once, or twice,. and if i don;t change the way i do it , then STOP FORCING your opinion on me get it ? why not you let me either figure out that HEY PERHAPS you were right? ?? THAN trying to make me change now ?
and can you believe its about STYLE that i am talking about ?
but nonetheless, it can be applied to anything.
by the way, derogatory and UNTACTFUL comments are seriously NECESSARY.
why do you have to say things like
" IF I WERE YOU I WOULD TAKE WINDSURFING INSTEAD OF WAKE BOARDING".
perhaps there is an implication, perhaps there isn't .
maybe it just means that you prefer windsurfing thats all, thats totally cool i understand , but i have already signed up for wake boarding, so why must it be " IF I WERE YOU?" if u really want to , then take windsurfing lah?
and , oh another FAMOUS comment.
" I WOULDN:T DYE my hair if i were you, it makes the hair really dry and such" . i am sorry ,did i ever ask you if i could dye my hair or what? who are you to make the choice for me ? and secondly , do you know how FKING embarassing that is ? ? like when you are out in the public ,and they say things like " OHHHHHHH you shouldn;t dye your hair" . but you know what., i ALREADY DID ? so now that you tell me this, it makes me feel inferior about my hair? and what am i supposed to do about it ? ?? i can't make it LESS DRY or anything ? . now this is what i call, necessary comments?!? or like, hair colour , or hair cut, like "OH YOU CAN:T cut a bob, it is ... . ", , so what can you do about it ? its super embarassing you know, ANd secondly, who is to tell you that you CAN, CANNOT or SHOULD or SHOULD NOT wear your hair the way you love., want or LIKE?! Wth
or, if i bought, a computer, that is WHITE!. so, you don;t like WHITE, and you say. " if i were you , i would buy green " ..o k. so, you like green, then you can buy it ?
you get it ?
or like, she MADE a dress, its red on the inside , and blue on the outside, and you keep harping how weird the red is. Do you know how embarrassed she may feel ? what is she to do ?
do you know? if i told you that you should lose weight, i don;'t keep harping on it right? and if you like to let down your hair , when it is dry or wtv, i also don;t comment that YOU SHOULD or shouldn;t . RIGHT? of course , as long as you don't look overwhelmingly Ridiculous , i won;t comment. its your style, your preference, your choices, i can't make them for you, i don;t tell you what is right or wrong.
you are raving about something you just bought, did to yourself , like perhaps, got a new haircut,. or ,, you bought a piece of furniture which you AbSoLuTely LoVEEeEE!~~~ woooooo . so ,, if i didn;t like it, and someone else commented on it like " oh thats TOTALLY ugly.. urhg guhruh ugh " .what are you to do about it ? you also can't sell it away or ,. exchange it ,, and in that case, CHANGE your hair cut immediately or anything right? i mean you like it, and so, no one can really change your opinion about it right. geez. so this is what i mean by, not mentioning any unnecessary comments.
i have said my piece.
i forsee lots of cussing in the minds of many.
but wtv.
* extremely irritated and angry.
and sorry, i am not being petty, its not the first time, and those examples mentioned above, are accumulated Observations i have seen that have been felt by other people and some by myself, and all have happened within the past 4 years.
when i have heard your comments about me, and i do not change anything, it obviously mean that i do not really mind about the comments, and i still want to do the things i do,. and how i want to do it. its fine if you tell me once, or twice,. and if i don;t change the way i do it , then STOP FORCING your opinion on me get it ? why not you let me either figure out that HEY PERHAPS you were right? ?? THAN trying to make me change now ?
and can you believe its about STYLE that i am talking about ?
but nonetheless, it can be applied to anything.
by the way, derogatory and UNTACTFUL comments are seriously NECESSARY.
why do you have to say things like
" IF I WERE YOU I WOULD TAKE WINDSURFING INSTEAD OF WAKE BOARDING".
perhaps there is an implication, perhaps there isn't .
maybe it just means that you prefer windsurfing thats all, thats totally cool i understand , but i have already signed up for wake boarding, so why must it be " IF I WERE YOU?" if u really want to , then take windsurfing lah?
and , oh another FAMOUS comment.
" I WOULDN:T DYE my hair if i were you, it makes the hair really dry and such" . i am sorry ,did i ever ask you if i could dye my hair or what? who are you to make the choice for me ? and secondly , do you know how FKING embarassing that is ? ? like when you are out in the public ,and they say things like " OHHHHHHH you shouldn;t dye your hair" . but you know what., i ALREADY DID ? so now that you tell me this, it makes me feel inferior about my hair? and what am i supposed to do about it ? ?? i can't make it LESS DRY or anything ? . now this is what i call, necessary comments?!? or like, hair colour , or hair cut, like "OH YOU CAN:T cut a bob, it is ... . ", , so what can you do about it ? its super embarassing you know, ANd secondly, who is to tell you that you CAN, CANNOT or SHOULD or SHOULD NOT wear your hair the way you love., want or LIKE?! Wth
or, if i bought, a computer, that is WHITE!. so, you don;t like WHITE, and you say. " if i were you , i would buy green " ..o k. so, you like green, then you can buy it ?
you get it ?
or like, she MADE a dress, its red on the inside , and blue on the outside, and you keep harping how weird the red is. Do you know how embarrassed she may feel ? what is she to do ?
do you know? if i told you that you should lose weight, i don;'t keep harping on it right? and if you like to let down your hair , when it is dry or wtv, i also don;t comment that YOU SHOULD or shouldn;t . RIGHT? of course , as long as you don't look overwhelmingly Ridiculous , i won;t comment. its your style, your preference, your choices, i can't make them for you, i don;t tell you what is right or wrong.
you are raving about something you just bought, did to yourself , like perhaps, got a new haircut,. or ,, you bought a piece of furniture which you AbSoLuTely LoVEEeEE!~~~ woooooo . so ,, if i didn;t like it, and someone else commented on it like " oh thats TOTALLY ugly.. urhg guhruh ugh " .what are you to do about it ? you also can't sell it away or ,. exchange it ,, and in that case, CHANGE your hair cut immediately or anything right? i mean you like it, and so, no one can really change your opinion about it right. geez. so this is what i mean by, not mentioning any unnecessary comments.
i have said my piece.
i forsee lots of cussing in the minds of many.
but wtv.
* extremely irritated and angry.
and sorry, i am not being petty, its not the first time, and those examples mentioned above, are accumulated Observations i have seen that have been felt by other people and some by myself, and all have happened within the past 4 years.
what we could have been, 7:51 AM.
Friday, April 24, 2009
,,,,
했갈려요 / / ㅠ.ㅠ
했갈려요 / / ㅠ.ㅠ
what we could have been, 10:00 AM.
Thursday, April 23, 2009
to be really honest,
i have been feeling really irritated/ angry/ annoyed with certain issues these days.
i feel very sad when i see it empty.
i feel extremely sad when i am reminded that i always had to be the one. . . .
i am really irritated when she seems blame everyone else for everything.
i feel really annoyed that i can;t find the answer that i am seeking.
and ,, when i look at my past photos, i feel really puzzled, and disturbed as to how people could victimize and call me FAT, and i feel stupid that i believed them and allowed self hatred to consume me.
all these things together makes me wanna cry.
I am very certain that i need not to bother about all these issues so much, that by letting all these emotions overcome me, it means that i am letting go of control over it.
But its so overwhelming sometimes, its ,, . . . ack.
its ok, ,
Ecclesiastes 7- 9Be not hasty in thy spirit to be angry: for anger resteth in the bosom of fools.
i will take control of my situation
i will emerge stronger.
강한여자@
i have been feeling really irritated/ angry/ annoyed with certain issues these days.
i feel very sad when i see it empty.
i feel extremely sad when i am reminded that i always had to be the one. . . .
i am really irritated when she seems blame everyone else for everything.
i feel really annoyed that i can;t find the answer that i am seeking.
and ,, when i look at my past photos, i feel really puzzled, and disturbed as to how people could victimize and call me FAT, and i feel stupid that i believed them and allowed self hatred to consume me.
all these things together makes me wanna cry.
I am very certain that i need not to bother about all these issues so much, that by letting all these emotions overcome me, it means that i am letting go of control over it.
But its so overwhelming sometimes, its ,, . . . ack.
its ok, ,
Ecclesiastes 7- 9Be not hasty in thy spirit to be angry: for anger resteth in the bosom of fools.
i will take control of my situation
i will emerge stronger.
강한여자@
what we could have been, 8:34 AM.
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
These few days,
i keep questioning parenting methods.
in our minds, sometimes we wish this, we wish that, we wish that they didn;t meddle so much, we wish that they didn;t do this to us, we wish that they didn;t stop us.
but many of these things actually molded us into the person we are today.
it may be good to a certain extent,. but sometimes i feel that the choice of words used by adults have caused some unwanted derogatory results. perhaps the things they say like YOU should this, you should that . YOU SHOULD. YOU MUST this and that.
i think it kinda inculcates some form of fear to do things.... sometimes somethings,, parents need to neither encourage or discourage their child from doing, but rather let them explore by themselves. Seeing how these things occur, i really can;t help but wonder what might happen.
but anyway, since we are already grown up and have a mind of our own, we can distinguish what is good and not good . so we could forgive and just move on, what has happened has happened and don't let the past control what you are going to do.
Anyway, the M0h is giving me a chance!!!!! and this saturday i am going for the test!! i am really really excited about it, feeling butterflies in my stomach when i think about it. Its really a lot to consider! and i hope i can prepare well for it , ,, there is so much i still don;t know, ,and so much to know still, so i really pray hard.@@
i must go on higher
and i must not stop myself
i must improve.
i keep questioning parenting methods.
in our minds, sometimes we wish this, we wish that, we wish that they didn;t meddle so much, we wish that they didn;t do this to us, we wish that they didn;t stop us.
but many of these things actually molded us into the person we are today.
it may be good to a certain extent,. but sometimes i feel that the choice of words used by adults have caused some unwanted derogatory results. perhaps the things they say like YOU should this, you should that . YOU SHOULD. YOU MUST this and that.
i think it kinda inculcates some form of fear to do things.... sometimes somethings,, parents need to neither encourage or discourage their child from doing, but rather let them explore by themselves. Seeing how these things occur, i really can;t help but wonder what might happen.
but anyway, since we are already grown up and have a mind of our own, we can distinguish what is good and not good . so we could forgive and just move on, what has happened has happened and don't let the past control what you are going to do.
Anyway, the M0h is giving me a chance!!!!! and this saturday i am going for the test!! i am really really excited about it, feeling butterflies in my stomach when i think about it. Its really a lot to consider! and i hope i can prepare well for it , ,, there is so much i still don;t know, ,and so much to know still, so i really pray hard.@@
i must go on higher
and i must not stop myself
i must improve.
what we could have been, 7:22 AM.
Friday, April 17, 2009
its been a while.
hahaha the other day i told wanT.ing. haha
at a male shoe sale, you will always see females, even if the shoes are not for them. At a female shoe sale, you will definitely see females, and you only see males if they are a) sitting on the couch, or b) they are the salesmen.
haha an indian man looked strangely when i finished my observation.
OH BY the way ,did i mention that proj. runway is so fun! and inspiring, hahhha fashion is really ,a funny thing. Something may look so impractical and weird and yet it is considered High fashion ( maybe its just me) ,.. and something may look so .@@@@@ and yet its so costly. u know what i mean? its strange how things work .
so many things have happened and it really proved to me that , everything you do is never really a TOTAL waste of time. As if, every single event, the good or bad ones, the big or small ones , the seemingly insignificant ones,just , they form a piece of a puzzle in my life, though they may just be a piece by itself, but without it ,you don't really get the full picture. , it just occured to me and proven itslf to be so true. can;t really explain it until you experiecne it for yourself.
anyway!! i am still waiting!!! praying really. oh!!N.T.U has offered me a placing in their acc school! i am really excited about it , at the same time i am really praying hard, and waiting to be answered. i hope that whatever i do will fufil what i want to achieve ., i can;t say that i have specific goals, but i know that i will get there its just,, the path to choose, , its hard to decide. . shed more light please
so many things to do, Every single day, little things, little stitches , little light , seems to open up something for me, another perspective to consider, a new skill to be learnt, a new approach to take, another challenge that presents itself to me, another method to improve. i suddenly understand some things,, , , i hope to see more. Following my parents around at work is really ,, , different,. . .kkk
something is still really bothering me, i can't seem to figure it. i think i feel ignored, or i think i feel neglected. but maybe thats just a perception,, the "i think ". it could be my fault. is what i do or say repelling people? ,. what is it wrong ?
nevermind, ,,just press on and fight, improve and change. When the going gets tough, the tough gets going!. fighting. . . . .
what we could have been, 12:08 AM.
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
so, i still waiting,
my sickness has been a blessing in disguise,
and going through everything today, i realized that really everything that i have done was for a purpose and a reason.
Never have i waited so patiently for someone to call.
Perhaps its just so that i wont take all news at one go.
i pray earnestly.
pray . . pray pray. ..
there is much i have to say , but so much i need to hide.
theres one more thing,
about cute guys .
so cute! hahahaha
my sickness has been a blessing in disguise,
and going through everything today, i realized that really everything that i have done was for a purpose and a reason.
Never have i waited so patiently for someone to call.
Perhaps its just so that i wont take all news at one go.
i pray earnestly.
pray . . pray pray. ..
there is much i have to say , but so much i need to hide.
theres one more thing,
about cute guys .
so cute! hahahaha
what we could have been, 5:08 AM.
Monday, April 13, 2009
so, the test tomorrow has been postponed, cos i think i replied them too late.
but its alright ~ i think its a blessing in disguise, cos i am sick now ._.
having sore throat and my head is throbbing . Hopefully i will be clear when i go down in the afternoon though.
anyway, something keeps drumming up feelings of embarrassment
i really want to hide my head in the ground when i think of that.
does anyone know how to forget them?? haha other than to stop thinking of them ?
i must change.
i must learn
and i must improve
fighting fighting!
but its alright ~ i think its a blessing in disguise, cos i am sick now ._.
having sore throat and my head is throbbing . Hopefully i will be clear when i go down in the afternoon though.
anyway, something keeps drumming up feelings of embarrassment
i really want to hide my head in the ground when i think of that.
does anyone know how to forget them?? haha other than to stop thinking of them ?
i must change.
i must learn
and i must improve
fighting fighting!
what we could have been, 6:42 AM.
Sunday, April 12, 2009
i prayed for a re. . .
just something.
Really really hoping earnestly for it .
so this week is going to be quite xiong! so!! i am getting geared up for it !
がんばって！～ 힘내자! 加油！and of course, keep on fighting!
when the going gets tough, The tough gets going!! haha
anyway if something doesn;t happen, i will be damn upset
so standby a box of tissues for me if -whatdoesnothappen- happens.
just something.
Really really hoping earnestly for it .
so this week is going to be quite xiong! so!! i am getting geared up for it !
がんばって！～ 힘내자! 加油！and of course, keep on fighting!
when the going gets tough, The tough gets going!! haha
anyway if something doesn;t happen, i will be damn upset
so standby a box of tissues for me if -whatdoesnothappen- happens.
what we could have been, 8:00 AM.
Thursday, April 9, 2009
freedom.
its difficult to control yourself when you are suddenly given so much liberty to do so.
the liberty to dream, the liberty to run about, the liberty to choose. Some just loose themselves, some just grow stronger.
Since young, we were beaten if we drew on walls, we were scolded if we wanted to do otherwise. We were " encouraged " to choose B when we wanted to choose A. We were scolded if we jumped on the bed, scolded for running around the house. , stopped when you were about to buy a shirt which looked "ugly" in the eyes of your siblings or wtv. I am now wondering if actually all these actions caused the formation of a kind of invisible boundary in whatever we do. of course i mean that its ok to stop if the action is really disturbing or inappropriate, But i am refering to actions that are harmless ( almost).
What is actually right then ? to allow one to fully develop their own characteristics by expressing themselves fully and experience the hurt when it is wrong. Or to stop something which may become wrong before it is being made? I watched the O. show the other day. they said " let your kids paint on the walls. meaning something like letting them be free to express and have fun. But when i come to think of it, most of the time, kids would be scolded for doing so, beaten ( i think in the past ) , haha i think banning of crayons would be too extreme. Hence my question. What is right then?
So now, when u want to fully express yourself online, sometimes limitation come to mind, like what if someone used your fears against you. or what if they used your words against you? things like that.
Back to my topic about being free again. Perhaps its the culture, or my upbringing, were taught to follow orders,rules, all the time, you can;t do this because you will be punished. You draw in this technique because if you don't , you will not score well. you must colour within the lines or else this and that / "its not nice" . ( but hello !! its artistic) . You have to do this working or else, you won;t score well. things like that. Perhaps its the constant discouragement/encouragement to do something that causes us to not know really.why not just " let them be"?
So perhaps its this, some grow strong through this invisible " bondage" or ... some just follow suit. That when we are finally let go with our pair of wings that we are so suddenly expected to grow up that we falter . But of course, i guess its a part of strengthening ourselves and adapting before taking flight. Just hope that nothing happens before we hit the ground.
Right now ,just planning the next step into my future, i do feel kinda lost still, but a little less lost than i was initially. I know that u must have a dream to be less easily deviated from your course and route, but i;m sorry that i have no dream, but i have interests. Hopefully just going with the flow will be ok still.
Today i received a call from the M0H scholarships , they called me down to take a psych0metric test this coming tues. I am so thankful for the opportunity! It caught me offgaurd. Please pray for me, that if its for me that it will go smoothly, cos i have never done a test like this~~ !! and if not it will close the doors. But of course, nothing is comfirmed yet, i still do not know what entails. But i am pretty excited still ! and in the afternoon, i am going down to smu! So i really pray hard! Thank God for the opporunities.
its difficult to control yourself when you are suddenly given so much liberty to do so.
the liberty to dream, the liberty to run about, the liberty to choose. Some just loose themselves, some just grow stronger.
Since young, we were beaten if we drew on walls, we were scolded if we wanted to do otherwise. We were " encouraged " to choose B when we wanted to choose A. We were scolded if we jumped on the bed, scolded for running around the house. , stopped when you were about to buy a shirt which looked "ugly" in the eyes of your siblings or wtv. I am now wondering if actually all these actions caused the formation of a kind of invisible boundary in whatever we do. of course i mean that its ok to stop if the action is really disturbing or inappropriate, But i am refering to actions that are harmless ( almost).
What is actually right then ? to allow one to fully develop their own characteristics by expressing themselves fully and experience the hurt when it is wrong. Or to stop something which may become wrong before it is being made? I watched the O. show the other day. they said " let your kids paint on the walls. meaning something like letting them be free to express and have fun. But when i come to think of it, most of the time, kids would be scolded for doing so, beaten ( i think in the past ) , haha i think banning of crayons would be too extreme. Hence my question. What is right then?
So now, when u want to fully express yourself online, sometimes limitation come to mind, like what if someone used your fears against you. or what if they used your words against you? things like that.
Back to my topic about being free again. Perhaps its the culture, or my upbringing, were taught to follow orders,rules, all the time, you can;t do this because you will be punished. You draw in this technique because if you don't , you will not score well. you must colour within the lines or else this and that / "its not nice" . ( but hello !! its artistic) . You have to do this working or else, you won;t score well. things like that. Perhaps its the constant discouragement/encouragement to do something that causes us to not know really.why not just " let them be"?
So perhaps its this, some grow strong through this invisible " bondage" or ... some just follow suit. That when we are finally let go with our pair of wings that we are so suddenly expected to grow up that we falter . But of course, i guess its a part of strengthening ourselves and adapting before taking flight. Just hope that nothing happens before we hit the ground.
Right now ,just planning the next step into my future, i do feel kinda lost still, but a little less lost than i was initially. I know that u must have a dream to be less easily deviated from your course and route, but i;m sorry that i have no dream, but i have interests. Hopefully just going with the flow will be ok still.
Today i received a call from the M0H scholarships , they called me down to take a psych0metric test this coming tues. I am so thankful for the opportunity! It caught me offgaurd. Please pray for me, that if its for me that it will go smoothly, cos i have never done a test like this~~ !! and if not it will close the doors. But of course, nothing is comfirmed yet, i still do not know what entails. But i am pretty excited still ! and in the afternoon, i am going down to smu! So i really pray hard! Thank God for the opporunities.
what we could have been, 6:46 AM.
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
for the past few days, i have had feelings of happiness, abandonment, neglect, hatred anger irritation all fused in to one. .
I can;t really explain to myself even why i feel this mad about things. Vulnerable perhaps.
Nevermind, i will get through this alone like always.
I am a Fighter , i must not forget.
I'm a fighter.
I can;t really explain to myself even why i feel this mad about things. Vulnerable perhaps.
Nevermind, i will get through this alone like always.
I am a Fighter , i must not forget.
I'm a fighter.
what we could have been, 9:53 PM.
Monday, April 6, 2009
i had the worst dream in the world last night!! whoa.
i shall just let it rest.
improve improve improve!
i shall just let it rest.
improve improve improve!
what we could have been, 9:26 AM.
Sunday, April 5, 2009
its been messy, really.
waking up in the middle of the night.
my dreams are so messy, so random, so strange.
perhaps this is a sign to slow down.
----------------------------
crossing lines.
its something that has been on my mind recently.
like how close can/should/must people actually be?
To what extent are things considered interfering ?
what what what
ah@@@
sigh its ok i will figure it out soon.
------------------
gentleness.
its something i will improve on.
keep on moving! keep on fighting.
waking up in the middle of the night.
my dreams are so messy, so random, so strange.
perhaps this is a sign to slow down.
----------------------------
crossing lines.
its something that has been on my mind recently.
like how close can/should/must people actually be?
To what extent are things considered interfering ?
what what what
ah@@@
sigh its ok i will figure it out soon.
------------------
gentleness.
its something i will improve on.
keep on moving! keep on fighting.
what we could have been, 7:36 AM.
Thursday, April 2, 2009
ah i am soooooooo .. . @_@...
why do people read so much into it / ?
i don';t really get it .
and secondly. if things are embarrassing, be thankful that some keep mum about it. if you knew about it , you would feel damn @@@@@@@ which hello, i am! and its not really an INCIDENT in the first place. i didn;t know that one could create such huge scenarios with it
can i just abandon all of it ? of course not, cos giving up is not a way to go .
asdf. i will just wallow in humiliation .
why do people read so much into it / ?
i don';t really get it .
and secondly. if things are embarrassing, be thankful that some keep mum about it. if you knew about it , you would feel damn @@@@@@@ which hello, i am! and its not really an INCIDENT in the first place. i didn;t know that one could create such huge scenarios with it
can i just abandon all of it ? of course not, cos giving up is not a way to go .
asdf. i will just wallow in humiliation .
what we could have been, 8:05 PM.
aiyoooo im so stupid
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
why must they read so much into it?!?!?!
T_T. . ..
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
why must they read so much into it?!?!?!
T_T. . ..
what we could have been, 7:56 PM.
