Sunday, May 31, 2009
i am definitely angry with myself
angry at the fact that, i got angry,
and angry that i could be angry over such seemingly small matters.
but don't small things make great impacts.
if you are faithful with the small things then i can trust you with bigger things
things like that.
thats why i am so angry! i mean it was such a small tihng and i can't even trust you to do it.
get it
but its ok mabye i am being silly.
and i missed the boat!! DAMN,
its ok, i will be a better week
i will stop ocmplaining now haha
BTW i found a new love! hahahah
what we could have been, 7:30 AM.
Saturday, May 30, 2009
i thought i really wanted it
i thought it was really meant for me
but i was wrong.
but its ok,
perhaps its a detour
perhaps its something else.
hhh
the weather is merciless ain't it ?
what we could have been, 9:24 AM.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
I spent today for myself, not too bad i guess,
i watched YES man too! haha
constant thoughts of " i am not good enough" come to me,
what about introducing the thought that " actually, no one is really ever "good enough"".
because, "good enough" is just a mark which people place for themselves. or think that others have placed for them, or institutions place for you.
perhaps that is true. Because even "the best" seem to have their doubts.
But because people put in their best, that's why they become good at something.
are my ramblings making sense? i dno,
maybe i should try out the 한국말 [에스이피.]
호호호~~
할수있어요? ? ?
i really wonder about the day when my Korean progress any further than the few phrases
speaking of korean, I wanna meet K|m Y.B|n! : ) shes my 偶像~
-0-
haha i really admire those in the media industry, esp script writers,, for cartoons, and comedy acts.. i mean how do they actually come up with fresh ideas every single time, for every script, and for people to act and have so much chemistry and do everything in sync,,
佩服佩服。。
ANYWAY~~ today is THE DAY!
the end of my endless wondering, and pursuit of an answer, cos i finally MADE it : ) ~~ haha
I have already clicked it ! soooooooooooooooooo i hope i didn't make the wrong choice!!
i just hope that i won't be struggling in a rat race.
i watched YES man too! haha
constant thoughts of " i am not good enough" come to me,
what about introducing the thought that " actually, no one is really ever "good enough"".
because, "good enough" is just a mark which people place for themselves. or think that others have placed for them, or institutions place for you.
perhaps that is true. Because even "the best" seem to have their doubts.
But because people put in their best, that's why they become good at something.
are my ramblings making sense? i dno,
maybe i should try out the 한국말 [에스이피.]
호호호~~
할수있어요? ? ?
i really wonder about the day when my Korean progress any further than the few phrases
speaking of korean, I wanna meet K|m Y.B|n! : ) shes my 偶像~
-0-
haha i really admire those in the media industry, esp script writers,, for cartoons, and comedy acts.. i mean how do they actually come up with fresh ideas every single time, for every script, and for people to act and have so much chemistry and do everything in sync,,
佩服佩服。。
ANYWAY~~ today is THE DAY!
the end of my endless wondering, and pursuit of an answer, cos i finally MADE it : ) ~~ haha
Please select the course you wish to accept:
I have already clicked it ! soooooooooooooooooo i hope i didn't make the wrong choice!!
i just hope that i won't be struggling in a rat race.
내게 능력 주시는 자 안에서 내가 모든 것을 할 수 있느니라 (빌 4:13)
what we could have been, 5:30 AM.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
i am having some anger management issues man,
think i must learn how to let go of anger in a more, constructive manner.
let it go , forget it all..
---
I think i have decided,
every degree holds its own set of promising prospects.
there are so many takes on it ,
and now in this time, i think the journey is more important.
i think i will still pursue my interest in Nus,
and hopefully i will not be disappointed.
-----------------------------------------------------
hello indecisive me,
i really hate you you know that?
think i must learn how to let go of anger in a more, constructive manner.
let it go , forget it all..
---
I think i have decided,
every degree holds its own set of promising prospects.
there are so many takes on it ,
and now in this time, i think the journey is more important.
i think i will still pursue my interest in Nus,
and hopefully i will not be disappointed.
-----------------------------------------------------
hello indecisive me,
i really hate you you know that?
what we could have been, 7:39 AM.
Sunday, May 24, 2009
i'm sick of hearing comments,
quit trying to dissuade me.
no more questions
i think i am feeling more settled after yesterday.
hopefully something does not come along to shake mee hahhhhhhhh
take away my fear
give me strength and courage to face my challenges headstrong.
haha this week is going to be different!
i will make my decision, AND haha my mom is making me embark on a new project! which, hahaha my learning has not gone to waste!! woo hope it turns out well : )
quit trying to dissuade me.
no more questions
i think i am feeling more settled after yesterday.
hopefully something does not come along to shake mee hahhhhhhhh
take away my fear
give me strength and courage to face my challenges headstrong.
haha this week is going to be different!
i will make my decision, AND haha my mom is making me embark on a new project! which, hahaha my learning has not gone to waste!! woo hope it turns out well : )
what we could have been, 10:13 AM.
Thursday, May 21, 2009
.
으ㅡ,,나는 누구 입니까?
지쳤다. .
그것이 걱정된다.
아ㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏ
닥쳐.
They say the truth hurts.
i am disappointed, to say the least,
disappointed with them.
disappointed AT..
its just stopped there. motionless,
not even once.
wth is this,
like how people could abandon.
like how people could ignore and go on their activities.
nonetheless, i will still do things the way i do it,
like how i won;t want others to feel it too.
kkk going to sleep it off i guess
haha not a very healthy method to deal with things huh.
hahaha
으ㅡ,,나는 누구 입니까?
지쳤다. .
그것이 걱정된다.
아ㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏㅏ
닥쳐.
They say the truth hurts.
i am disappointed, to say the least,
disappointed with them.
disappointed AT..
its just stopped there. motionless,
not even once.
wth is this,
like how people could abandon.
like how people could ignore and go on their activities.
nonetheless, i will still do things the way i do it,
like how i won;t want others to feel it too.
kkk going to sleep it off i guess
haha not a very healthy method to deal with things huh.
hahaha
what we could have been, 8:05 AM.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
For the past few days, my prayers have been,
" if this is not my calling, please don't let me get it., "
Today, before my intv, my uncle gave me some advice.
" don't be nervous hor! if you know, Just answer from your heart,, if you don't know, just say you don't know. "
with that in mind, i went for the Intv. . .
i was early and i think i was the only one who tried striking conversation with the rest. Most of them were pretty steady, from what i inferred, i think they were students who scored more than 4 A'2 which made me feel a little ... , perhaps inferior.. ... ..aye..but its ok,,, i think i am quite fortunate to even be given this opportunity to try and fight.
There were 5 pairs of eyes that were judging and analyzing my answers. some seemed to brighten up when i mentioned certain points,, and some with doubtful and concerned looks.. hh..... One question shot at me after the other, and most of the time, i couldn't even finish my answer before i was given another question.
I tried not to think so much about my answers cos that would just be my brain doing the answering, and not the heart . Seemingly, i missed the essence of some questions cos they had to repeated two question in a simplified manner,, , : ( but its ok~
one thing which really set me thinking after the interview was when they asked me this.
" so, if you are not offered this scholarship, then what will you study? i mean have you applied for any university?"
i told them that i was still thinking about it. That chemistry and accounting seemed to be on par for me. then i said " i think i may do accounting actually. "
they seemed pretty surprised,, as to why i would choose accounting as Acc and H.Science are almost completely opposite professions, and asked me how come i won't study medcine..
haha... the latter has it obvious reasons.. then I told them " i think that the reason for getting education is to sharpen the mind,and perhaps ,equip me with necessary information. I feel that ultimately if i really do choose accounting, that i might not become an accountant as i view this education as part for me to make more informed decisions if i were to do business in the future."
i wonder where my answer came from. Is it really my heart doing the talking? or did i actually preplan an answer in my head? wouldn't i have said chemistry? what was i saying really?
seriously i don't know what i am doing, i wish to swim myself exhausted, sleep and not wake up. Yes i do want to shun from the reality of this situation. Do i really have to study until a PHD level for chemistry in order to do well? can i definitely score a 1st class honors ? Do i really see myself as a scientist? Do i really want to study accounting and do finance D.D , like i said so in the intv ?
Will they really approve my application ? if they do, then it is almost like my worst fears and passion all fused into one.. , like the study of biology, which i have never done,, the possibility of a strong-accent-barrier, being alone, and finally, comparing my standard of English to many, i feel almost incompetent. The latter is really a great challenge to me, as i still struggle with, what?, English. Tenses, phrasing. . .Vocabulary.. .. ? ? ?? and of course, patience. . which i feel that, yeah , it might take some time for me to really learn how to inculcate patience in me. . i am selective. i can wait in a queue, but i can't wait to express myself. ..
haha.. ok i am just thinking far ahead, there is still a high possibility of me not getting it anyway.,
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
I pray that if this is for me, take away my fear and let me go head strong with faith.
" if this is not my calling, please don't let me get it., "
Today, before my intv, my uncle gave me some advice.
" don't be nervous hor! if you know, Just answer from your heart,, if you don't know, just say you don't know. "
with that in mind, i went for the Intv. . .
i was early and i think i was the only one who tried striking conversation with the rest. Most of them were pretty steady, from what i inferred, i think they were students who scored more than 4 A'2 which made me feel a little ... , perhaps inferior.. ... ..aye..but its ok,,, i think i am quite fortunate to even be given this opportunity to try and fight.
There were 5 pairs of eyes that were judging and analyzing my answers. some seemed to brighten up when i mentioned certain points,, and some with doubtful and concerned looks.. hh..... One question shot at me after the other, and most of the time, i couldn't even finish my answer before i was given another question.
I tried not to think so much about my answers cos that would just be my brain doing the answering, and not the heart . Seemingly, i missed the essence of some questions cos they had to repeated two question in a simplified manner,, , : ( but its ok~
one thing which really set me thinking after the interview was when they asked me this.
" so, if you are not offered this scholarship, then what will you study? i mean have you applied for any university?"
i told them that i was still thinking about it. That chemistry and accounting seemed to be on par for me. then i said " i think i may do accounting actually. "
they seemed pretty surprised,, as to why i would choose accounting as Acc and H.Science are almost completely opposite professions, and asked me how come i won't study medcine..
haha... the latter has it obvious reasons.. then I told them " i think that the reason for getting education is to sharpen the mind,and perhaps ,equip me with necessary information. I feel that ultimately if i really do choose accounting, that i might not become an accountant as i view this education as part for me to make more informed decisions if i were to do business in the future."
i wonder where my answer came from. Is it really my heart doing the talking? or did i actually preplan an answer in my head? wouldn't i have said chemistry? what was i saying really?
seriously i don't know what i am doing, i wish to swim myself exhausted, sleep and not wake up. Yes i do want to shun from the reality of this situation. Do i really have to study until a PHD level for chemistry in order to do well? can i definitely score a 1st class honors ? Do i really see myself as a scientist? Do i really want to study accounting and do finance D.D , like i said so in the intv ?
Will they really approve my application ? if they do, then it is almost like my worst fears and passion all fused into one.. , like the study of biology, which i have never done,, the possibility of a strong-accent-barrier, being alone, and finally, comparing my standard of English to many, i feel almost incompetent. The latter is really a great challenge to me, as i still struggle with, what?, English. Tenses, phrasing. . .Vocabulary.. .. ? ? ?? and of course, patience. . which i feel that, yeah , it might take some time for me to really learn how to inculcate patience in me. . i am selective. i can wait in a queue, but i can't wait to express myself. ..
haha.. ok i am just thinking far ahead, there is still a high possibility of me not getting it anyway.,
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
I pray that if this is for me, take away my fear and let me go head strong with faith.
what we could have been, 9:13 AM.
Monday, May 18, 2009
i know that i am angry ,i really am ,
at the same time, i know that due to free will, i can't force others.
i feel really screwed.
nevermind the fact that within a matter of days i could be making a decision based on impulse.
or perhaps the fact that i am doing it, and it might be a total waste of time,
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
i want to melt in to the ground.
at the same time, i know that due to free will, i can't force others.
i feel really screwed.
nevermind the fact that within a matter of days i could be making a decision based on impulse.
or perhaps the fact that i am doing it, and it might be a total waste of time,
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
i want to melt in to the ground.
what we could have been, 9:25 AM.
For the past few days, my prayers have been,
" if H.Science is not my calling, please don't let me get through, "
Today, before my intv, my uncle gave me some advice.
" don't be nervous hor! if you know, Just answer from your heart,, if you don't know, just say you don't know. "
with that in mind, i went for the Intv. . .
i was early and i think i was the only one who tried striking conversation with the rest. Most of them were pretty steady, from what i inferred, they scored more than 4As. which made me feel a little (~)...inferior , perhaps... ..aye..but its ok,,, i think i can consider myself quite fortunate to even be given this opportunity to even try and fight.
There were 5 pairs of eyes that were judging and analyzing my answers. some seemed to brighten up when i mentioned certain points,, and some with doubtful and concerned looks.. hh..... One question shot at me after the other, and most of the time, i couldn't even finish my answer before i was given another question.
I tried not to think so much about my answers cos that would just be my brain doing the answering, and not the heart . Seemingly, i missed the essence of some questions cos they had to repeated two question in a simplified manner,, , : ( but its ok~
one thing which really set me thinking after the interview was when they asked me this.
" so, if you are not offered this scholarship, then what will you study? i mean have you applied for any university?"
i told them that i was still thinking about it. That chemistry and accounting seemed to be on par for me. then i said " i think i may do accounting actually. "
they seemed pretty surprised,, as to why i would choose accounting as Acc and H.Science are almost completely opposite professions, and asked me how come i won't study medcine..
haha... the latter has it obvious reasons.. then I told them " i think that the reason for getting education is to sharpen the mind,and perhaps ,equip me with necessary information. I feel that ultimately if i really do choose accounting, that i might not become an accountant as i view this education as part for me to make more informed decisions if i were to do business in the future."
i wonder where my answer came from. Is it really my heart doing the talking? or did i actually preplan an answer in my head? wouldn't i have said chemistry? what was i saying really?
seriously i don't know what i am doing, i wish to swim myself exhausted, sleep and not wake up. Yes i do want to shun from the reality of this situation. Do i really have to study until a PHD level for chemistry in order to do well? can i definitely score a 1st class honours ? Do i really see myself as a scientist? Do i really want to study accounting and do finance D.D , like i said so in the intv ?
Will they really approve my application ? if they do, then it is almost like my worst fears and passion all fused into one.. , like the study of biology, which i have never done,, the possibility of a strong-accent-barrier, being alone, and finally, comparing my standard of English to many, i feel almost incompetent. The latter is really a great challenge to me, as i still struggle with, what?, English. Tenses, phrasing. . .Vocabulary.. .. ? ? ?? and of course, patience. . which i feel that, yeah , it might take some time for me to really learn how to inculcate patience in me. . i am selective. i can wait in a queue, but i can't wait to express myself. ..
I pray that if this is for me, take away my fear and let me go head strong with faith.
" if H.Science is not my calling, please don't let me get through, "
Today, before my intv, my uncle gave me some advice.
" don't be nervous hor! if you know, Just answer from your heart,, if you don't know, just say you don't know. "
with that in mind, i went for the Intv. . .
i was early and i think i was the only one who tried striking conversation with the rest. Most of them were pretty steady, from what i inferred, they scored more than 4As. which made me feel a little (~)...inferior , perhaps... ..aye..but its ok,,, i think i can consider myself quite fortunate to even be given this opportunity to even try and fight.
There were 5 pairs of eyes that were judging and analyzing my answers. some seemed to brighten up when i mentioned certain points,, and some with doubtful and concerned looks.. hh..... One question shot at me after the other, and most of the time, i couldn't even finish my answer before i was given another question.
I tried not to think so much about my answers cos that would just be my brain doing the answering, and not the heart . Seemingly, i missed the essence of some questions cos they had to repeated two question in a simplified manner,, , : ( but its ok~
one thing which really set me thinking after the interview was when they asked me this.
" so, if you are not offered this scholarship, then what will you study? i mean have you applied for any university?"
i told them that i was still thinking about it. That chemistry and accounting seemed to be on par for me. then i said " i think i may do accounting actually. "
they seemed pretty surprised,, as to why i would choose accounting as Acc and H.Science are almost completely opposite professions, and asked me how come i won't study medcine..
haha... the latter has it obvious reasons.. then I told them " i think that the reason for getting education is to sharpen the mind,and perhaps ,equip me with necessary information. I feel that ultimately if i really do choose accounting, that i might not become an accountant as i view this education as part for me to make more informed decisions if i were to do business in the future."
i wonder where my answer came from. Is it really my heart doing the talking? or did i actually preplan an answer in my head? wouldn't i have said chemistry? what was i saying really?
seriously i don't know what i am doing, i wish to swim myself exhausted, sleep and not wake up. Yes i do want to shun from the reality of this situation. Do i really have to study until a PHD level for chemistry in order to do well? can i definitely score a 1st class honours ? Do i really see myself as a scientist? Do i really want to study accounting and do finance D.D , like i said so in the intv ?
Will they really approve my application ? if they do, then it is almost like my worst fears and passion all fused into one.. , like the study of biology, which i have never done,, the possibility of a strong-accent-barrier, being alone, and finally, comparing my standard of English to many, i feel almost incompetent. The latter is really a great challenge to me, as i still struggle with, what?, English. Tenses, phrasing. . .Vocabulary.. .. ? ? ?? and of course, patience. . which i feel that, yeah , it might take some time for me to really learn how to inculcate patience in me. . i am selective. i can wait in a queue, but i can't wait to express myself. ..
I pray that if this is for me, take away my fear and let me go head strong with faith.
what we could have been, 8:03 AM.
Sunday, May 17, 2009
this Tuesday could be my opportunity, a miracle, something being entrusted to me.. .
it could lead me to an experience which will take me into a different zone to humble myself, to inculcate patience in me,, and to learn so much more...
Or i could be, doing something ,, else..
kk,, but of course there is still a large possibility that i don't get it ..hh
thinking on local level, i have a big hunch that there might be a great diversion of plans, i'm not too sure myself. .
I am really sorry to you all,, for you having to put up with me talking about these all the time, that i feel that you might want to slap me ? Forgive me if i have occupied many of our conversations with this, i promise that i will figure this out soon and make it up to you. Its been an all time low.
hh i'm like scrubbing ever last corner of my brains trying to figure things out,, ow. . .
it could lead me to an experience which will take me into a different zone to humble myself, to inculcate patience in me,, and to learn so much more...
Or i could be, doing something ,, else..
kk,, but of course there is still a large possibility that i don't get it ..hh
thinking on local level, i have a big hunch that there might be a great diversion of plans, i'm not too sure myself. .
I am really sorry to you all,, for you having to put up with me talking about these all the time, that i feel that you might want to slap me ? Forgive me if i have occupied many of our conversations with this, i promise that i will figure this out soon and make it up to you. Its been an all time low.
hh i'm like scrubbing ever last corner of my brains trying to figure things out,, ow. . .
what we could have been, 11:00 AM.
this coming Tuesday, it could really be an opportunity.
i;m digging the depths of my soul, scratching every corner of my brains and thinking about it over and over again.
on one hand, i am being blessed with some opportunities, and the other ,i wonder whether i can cope with it. if i am really given this chance, it could be a challenge which i think i will have to fight and overcome.
I stumbled upon a blog of a person who took up the scholarship, who was thinking about this a few years back. After skimming through some events which he documented , i realized that , if i really am blessed enough to get it, i might not survive. ,.
if they really entrust me with this, it would be a miracle, a blessing, something so important entrusted into my hands . There are so many of them who want this, so many of them who want to do it, so many of them who are capable and qualified to do this! ? ,i could be dreaming.
,,some challenges i foresee,
the study of biology, which i have never done,, the possibility of a strong-accent-barrier, being alone, and finally, comparing my standard of English to many, i feel almost incompetent.
The latter is really a great challenge to me, as i still struggle with, what?, English. Tenses, phrasing. . .Vocabulary.. .. ? ? ?? and of course, patience. . which i feel that, yeah , it might take some time for me to really learn how to inculcate patience in me. . i am selective. i can wait in a queue, but i can't wait to express myself. ..
Taking on this challenge, means that i must really humble myself , and be willing to learn all over again. To every path i choose from now, its definite that i will face a tough challenge, all differing in their nature and type. . but this, could totally, put me in a different zone. .
But all these are based on the assumption that i really do get it, because after all, the interview has yet to happen. They said that they will let me know within a matter of day(s). . haha,,eek, , ,
haha i am thinking too far now,, just wait and see how it goes. . . OK YES i am thinking too far, two days early to be exact. . hahah well that's just me, , , ok yes, i am thinking to far ahead.. haha
because there is also a possibility of me not getting it.
oh well, back to thinking on a local level..
my sister says i should go for the next hi-tea and then decide.
i hope it makes me clear,
and,
I am really sorry to you all,, for you having to put up with me talking about these all the time, that i feel that you might want to slap me ? Forgive me if i have occupied many of our conversations with this, i promise that i will figure this out soon and make it up to you. Its been an all time low.
i;m digging the depths of my soul, scratching every corner of my brains and thinking about it over and over again.
on one hand, i am being blessed with some opportunities, and the other ,i wonder whether i can cope with it. if i am really given this chance, it could be a challenge which i think i will have to fight and overcome.
I stumbled upon a blog of a person who took up the scholarship, who was thinking about this a few years back. After skimming through some events which he documented , i realized that , if i really am blessed enough to get it, i might not survive. ,.
if they really entrust me with this, it would be a miracle, a blessing, something so important entrusted into my hands . There are so many of them who want this, so many of them who want to do it, so many of them who are capable and qualified to do this! ? ,i could be dreaming.
,,some challenges i foresee,
the study of biology, which i have never done,, the possibility of a strong-accent-barrier, being alone, and finally, comparing my standard of English to many, i feel almost incompetent.
The latter is really a great challenge to me, as i still struggle with, what?, English. Tenses, phrasing. . .Vocabulary.. .. ? ? ?? and of course, patience. . which i feel that, yeah , it might take some time for me to really learn how to inculcate patience in me. . i am selective. i can wait in a queue, but i can't wait to express myself. ..
Taking on this challenge, means that i must really humble myself , and be willing to learn all over again. To every path i choose from now, its definite that i will face a tough challenge, all differing in their nature and type. . but this, could totally, put me in a different zone. .
But all these are based on the assumption that i really do get it, because after all, the interview has yet to happen. They said that they will let me know within a matter of day(s). . haha,,eek, , ,
haha i am thinking too far now,, just wait and see how it goes. . . OK YES i am thinking too far, two days early to be exact. . hahah well that's just me, , , ok yes, i am thinking to far ahead.. haha
because there is also a possibility of me not getting it.
oh well, back to thinking on a local level..
my sister says i should go for the next hi-tea and then decide.
i hope it makes me clear,
and,
I am really sorry to you all,, for you having to put up with me talking about these all the time, that i feel that you might want to slap me ? Forgive me if i have occupied many of our conversations with this, i promise that i will figure this out soon and make it up to you. Its been an all time low.
what we could have been, 9:58 AM.
Saturday, May 16, 2009
I'm pretty bad at making decisions.
aye.. .
just when i thought that i was set on not studying acc,
i went for the S.Mu's hi-tea today.
When i walked out, i am considering accounting once again.
dang the guy's got some persuasive skills.
I really like the idea of studying at smu, but its just the STUDY that i am uncertain about..
suffering some identity crises now. .. . . .
save meeeeeeeeee
aye.. .
just when i thought that i was set on not studying acc,
i went for the S.Mu's hi-tea today.
When i walked out, i am considering accounting once again.
dang the guy's got some persuasive skills.
I really like the idea of studying at smu, but its just the STUDY that i am uncertain about..
suffering some identity crises now. .. . . .
save meeeeeeeeee
what we could have been, 8:18 AM.
Friday, May 15, 2009
so today, its one of those feeling, like. FML, you ever get those? haha
haha which by the way , the website is so funny, some of the FML's are so over the top and exaggerated, and some are quite dirty( damn ), you can ignore those, , and some too funny to be real. But at least its a tad entertaining . . I feel kinda evil that i am laughing at someone's adversities. you find a good one amongst many.
like ,
haha. ok i feel mean.
Anyway., i am so sick of always trying to strike up a conversation ,when the other person never seems to be interested in continuing it !! so annoying, even though my day is crappy or wtv and i meet someone , i will definitely try to SMILE ( cue two seconds) and ask about something,,, which they simply answer, and not try to continue the convo... .
very tiring leh, i am not a question booklet or anything .
nevermind, gotta understand that, they may just be tired.
oh well ,.
I have to decide by 1st june right . I am pretty certain that i won't be taking up accounting, . but ,i think i will do what i really like.. k k so it shall be nus science for me!! haha
i prayed for a sign, you know, those like if its not for me, let this and that happen. haha apparently it makes you go " my! is that a sign? " to almost everything...... but aiya seems like i am still questioning... so right now, i am preparing for my interview coming Tuesday! haha, which means i am talking to my imaginary interviewers in my mind again.. haha, ,if i really do get it , i hope that the final decision won't be very hard,, haha
just hope that , i won't end up as one of those ladies crying on 0prah saying how much they hate their jobs. :T
haha which by the way , the website is so funny, some of the FML's are so over the top and exaggerated, and some are quite dirty( damn ), you can ignore those, , and some too funny to be real. But at least its a tad entertaining . . I feel kinda evil that i am laughing at someone's adversities. you find a good one amongst many.
like ,
Today, I saw an old Caucasian lady drop her purse. Out of kind intention, I ran to pick it up for her. She hit me with a wooden cane she was holding in her right hand. Multiple times. I gave her the purse back. She hit me again and said "Fuck You Yellow Rat," before she walked off. I'm Asian. FM|
Today, I got fired from my job. I worked for my parents. FM|
Today, my girlfriend dumped me proc|aiming she wanted someone more like her "Edward". I asked her who Edward was. She held up a copy her "Twilight" book. She was talking about a fictional vampire. FM|
haha. ok i feel mean.
Anyway., i am so sick of always trying to strike up a conversation ,when the other person never seems to be interested in continuing it !! so annoying, even though my day is crappy or wtv and i meet someone , i will definitely try to SMILE ( cue two seconds) and ask about something,,, which they simply answer, and not try to continue the convo... .
very tiring leh, i am not a question booklet or anything .
nevermind, gotta understand that, they may just be tired.
oh well ,.
I have to decide by 1st june right . I am pretty certain that i won't be taking up accounting, . but ,i think i will do what i really like.. k k so it shall be nus science for me!! haha
i prayed for a sign, you know, those like if its not for me, let this and that happen. haha apparently it makes you go " my! is that a sign? " to almost everything...... but aiya seems like i am still questioning... so right now, i am preparing for my interview coming Tuesday! haha, which means i am talking to my imaginary interviewers in my mind again.. haha, ,if i really do get it , i hope that the final decision won't be very hard,, haha
just hope that , i won't end up as one of those ladies crying on 0prah saying how much they hate their jobs. :T
what we could have been, 7:55 AM.
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
is something wrong with me, ?
everyday thousands of thoughts clutter my mind, i could be there, counting medicine tablets when suddenly, a thought of the embarrassing time pops up and i feel embarrassed and go "oh man i wanna die, i really wanna die"
My aunt says that i am a cartoon character, perhaps she means animated. One moment i could be really angry looking , as if the whole world owes me something ( which it def doesn't) , and the next thing, i could be smiling like theres everything to be happy about.
like everything could be so positive, there is a possibility of everything, anything. like you could be anything you want to be, and that everything that happened REALLY seemed to be there for its purpose, and the next moment , i feel like punching a douchebag. being really irritated with everything else. or , cracking open my skull haha, sounds gory..
anyways, the CONSTANT thing keeps coming up in my mind, its about the whole uni,future,what will i be, will i like it, thing, and its really getting on my nerves. thoughts like
kk the chemist!
kk the businesswoman / accountant!
kk the Therapist!
and kk the teacher.
then i imagine myself with a name tag, holding names like
L.K.K , - -
or ,
imagining students calling me " MISS LOH!~!!! "
or ,
DR. Loh.KK.
or, conversations like
" yah. my accountant ,, that miss loh"
-_- hahaha
i want to pull my hair when i think about all these. haha But i am almost 90% sure with my decision already.. just,, have a little bit of insecurities and doubt,. but !! man @@. . .i'm mulling over it almost every free second i've got! and even if i am preoccupied with something, i am still thinking about it !@@ dang
get it out of my head@@@!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 바보같이
hahaha
but the upside of this is that, with this occupying my mind all the time , i feel that all the embarrassing memories are slowly slipping away, , ,haha
my mind is seriously in a mess . ,햇갈렸다 ㅠ_ㅠ
aiya, i should let it rest.
anyway ,haha this song GEE by SNSD is so funny .every time i hear it on the MP3 on the bus rides to and fro the north and east of Singapore, it makes me feel like breaking out into , it makes you feel like breaking out in a dance. haha,
ok here, if you want to hear the song., haha
Gee-SNSD.MP3 - Girlsgeneration
너무 반짝 반짝 눈이 부셔 No No No No No! ~!!
hhh
and oh!! i really feel like taking on the name ERIN! i really like it. hahahah @@ - -
haha ok i know this has really been random, but i can't explain the randomness happening in my mind so its so hard to really organise my thoughts.
anyway i hope all has been well,
love , laugh , hate , laugh and enjoy : )
잘자!
everyday thousands of thoughts clutter my mind, i could be there, counting medicine tablets when suddenly, a thought of the embarrassing time pops up and i feel embarrassed and go "oh man i wanna die, i really wanna die"
My aunt says that i am a cartoon character, perhaps she means animated. One moment i could be really angry looking , as if the whole world owes me something ( which it def doesn't) , and the next thing, i could be smiling like theres everything to be happy about.
like everything could be so positive, there is a possibility of everything, anything. like you could be anything you want to be, and that everything that happened REALLY seemed to be there for its purpose, and the next moment , i feel like punching a douchebag. being really irritated with everything else. or , cracking open my skull haha, sounds gory..
anyways, the CONSTANT thing keeps coming up in my mind, its about the whole uni,future,what will i be, will i like it, thing, and its really getting on my nerves. thoughts like
kk the chemist!
kk the businesswoman / accountant!
kk the Therapist!
and kk the teacher.
then i imagine myself with a name tag, holding names like
L.K.K , - -
or ,
imagining students calling me " MISS LOH!~!!! "
or ,
DR. Loh.KK.
or, conversations like
" yah. my accountant ,, that miss loh"
-_- hahaha
i want to pull my hair when i think about all these. haha But i am almost 90% sure with my decision already.. just,, have a little bit of insecurities and doubt,. but !! man @@. . .i'm mulling over it almost every free second i've got! and even if i am preoccupied with something, i am still thinking about it !@@ dang
get it out of my head@@@!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 바보같이
hahaha
but the upside of this is that, with this occupying my mind all the time , i feel that all the embarrassing memories are slowly slipping away, , ,haha
my mind is seriously in a mess . ,햇갈렸다 ㅠ_ㅠ
aiya, i should let it rest.
anyway ,haha this song GEE by SNSD is so funny .every time i hear it on the MP3 on the bus rides to and fro the north and east of Singapore, it makes me feel like breaking out into , it makes you feel like breaking out in a dance. haha,
ok here, if you want to hear the song., haha
Gee-SNSD.MP3 - Girlsgeneration
너무 반짝 반짝 눈이 부셔 No No No No No! ~!!
hhh
and oh!! i really feel like taking on the name ERIN! i really like it. hahahah @@ - -
haha ok i know this has really been random, but i can't explain the randomness happening in my mind so its so hard to really organise my thoughts.
anyway i hope all has been well,
love , laugh , hate , laugh and enjoy : )
잘자!
what we could have been, 6:15 AM.
Saturday, May 9, 2009
so since i was not laboring aka cleaning up my humble home on the labor day holiday. i spent today to clean up my home.
haha. kirei kirei~
busy busy
just got to keep trying to improve.!
haha. kirei kirei~
busy busy
just got to keep trying to improve.!
what we could have been, 1:43 AM.
Friday, May 8, 2009
Thank you for such a powerful statement
" do something you are passionate about , at least you won't regret "
hh....
haha busy busy busy!
" do something you are passionate about , at least you won't regret "
hh....
haha busy busy busy!
what we could have been, 8:26 AM.
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
its a tough decision,
i keep saying that i am almost decided, but i am not, really not.
its bugging me, a lot.
if i study local, its between ntu/smu's Acc.at and chem at nus
m0h is really giving me an opportunity, i am so excited about it, at the same time, reality strikes, as to,, studying overseas meaning that i have to be entirely independent and alone?... alone,,, yeah.. and also,, specialized... ...
hh.. i wish perhaps a future me will come back and tell me,., like in the movies,, or perhaps, a note falling from heaven and into my palm giving me an answer. or perhaps, crack open my skull like an egg and pour out its contents,, and read my brain like a palm... haha
now all these are just plain unrealistic,, and the latter is gross. haha.
everyone is asking or telling me, what do you like ? what do you see yourself as in the future? and what do you think you can handle?
hh i wish i knew myself better too, to know what i like,.and better to be. a dream chaser, yeah. that would be nice.
enough of that, its a tough call,,, some serious thinking to do again, the weight of the responsibility of having to decide for myself has faded slightly,, but its still the reality. coming up to me and giving me two slaps saying " you still have to do something about it !!"
haha
about this whole thing ,,, i am not complaining,, im just., what do you say. contemplating carefully...kk
all that aside..
i went swimming today.. didn;t stretch before i swam,, quite a bad idea cos my arm is cramping up.. hhh
oh well,., think well, laugh hard and sleep well.
ps, enjoy this song,, :)
i keep saying that i am almost decided, but i am not, really not.
its bugging me, a lot.
if i study local, its between ntu/smu's Acc.at and chem at nus
m0h is really giving me an opportunity, i am so excited about it, at the same time, reality strikes, as to,, studying overseas meaning that i have to be entirely independent and alone?... alone,,, yeah.. and also,, specialized... ...
hh.. i wish perhaps a future me will come back and tell me,., like in the movies,, or perhaps, a note falling from heaven and into my palm giving me an answer. or perhaps, crack open my skull like an egg and pour out its contents,, and read my brain like a palm... haha
now all these are just plain unrealistic,, and the latter is gross. haha.
everyone is asking or telling me, what do you like ? what do you see yourself as in the future? and what do you think you can handle?
hh i wish i knew myself better too, to know what i like,.and better to be. a dream chaser, yeah. that would be nice.
enough of that, its a tough call,,, some serious thinking to do again, the weight of the responsibility of having to decide for myself has faded slightly,, but its still the reality. coming up to me and giving me two slaps saying " you still have to do something about it !!"
haha
about this whole thing ,,, i am not complaining,, im just., what do you say. contemplating carefully...kk
all that aside..
i went swimming today.. didn;t stretch before i swam,, quite a bad idea cos my arm is cramping up.. hhh
oh well,., think well, laugh hard and sleep well.
ps, enjoy this song,, :)
what we could have been, 5:41 AM.
Monday, May 4, 2009
do you know the feeling,where, you are most happy about your achievements, or just some news, and yet when you are at the top of the world, you realize that there is no one else you can share it with.
i suppose that this could be an underlying fear when people who are successful realize that they neglect their loved ones.
so anyway, i have news, and yes i feel like theres no one.
but its ok, lets just say my opportunity is here again.
i suppose that this could be an underlying fear when people who are successful realize that they neglect their loved ones.
so anyway, i have news, and yes i feel like theres no one.
but its ok, lets just say my opportunity is here again.
what we could have been, 4:46 AM.
Friday, May 1, 2009
This week has not been really good, i guess,
maybe 情绪不稳,,just ultra sensitive i think, ,, really beginning to see how friends can let you down, and things like that. perhaps its just that some friends are not aware at all, so perhaps i am being too sensitive.. . .but its ok. . . nobody should owe anybody anything anyway. . .
Many people wish to be children again. I guess its due to the element of not having any worries. Children , are often fearless, ( about many things), like, they could touch some sharp object not knowing that it would hurt them, only after the realization of something called pain , that they stop doing such things again. the adults make the more important decisions for them. They screw up and the reason is " they are kids ,, they know nothing" .. They jump from great heights, they pick up spiders , some even attempting to put them in their mouths. They love, not knowing if love could ever hurt, or turn into a backstabbing affair. things like that. i love you , you love me, and i friend you you friend me.
As we get older, there are more things to be concerned about,, more things to be aware of, more to the list. House, bills, things, jobs, stability. whatever. you make the important decisions.. and what you do now, could affect more people than you think. friends are no longer just play mates but they play a bigger part in emotional ,, dependency? ,, things could turn ugly. backstabbing ,, , lovers become affairs. you don;t do things as daringly anymore, there is something called FACE.
as we step into adulthood. Can we ever have the same kind of fearlessness we once had as a child? Seemingly ,the more you know, the more you become fearful.. is it ? ... but i hope, that noe day, i can overcome more fears , just like a child again,, and hope that i the more i know, the less fearless i will be and just dare to be something...
then, does it mean that, if we ever say things like " i wish i could be a child again".. show that we just want to give up on what is going on now,, and just shirk responsibility? . feels like it.
on the side note, N.U.S finally replied! and they are offering me a place in their science faculty~!
and Smu and Ntu accepted me into their accounting faculties. ,I am almost decided! haha and i want to make a right choice,, . i really do. . . ._. because, right now ,, i am considering cognitive ( social) sciences,, and science.. . ., its a whole set of.. things to consider again. . . head spins when i think about it. . . .
but you know, just something about entering an entirely new school and having to make new friends again, it makes me feel quite weary,,, just,, something, . .
괜찮아요. .
할수있어@!
maybe 情绪不稳,,just ultra sensitive i think, ,, really beginning to see how friends can let you down, and things like that. perhaps its just that some friends are not aware at all, so perhaps i am being too sensitive.. . .but its ok. . . nobody should owe anybody anything anyway. . .
Many people wish to be children again. I guess its due to the element of not having any worries. Children , are often fearless, ( about many things), like, they could touch some sharp object not knowing that it would hurt them, only after the realization of something called pain , that they stop doing such things again. the adults make the more important decisions for them. They screw up and the reason is " they are kids ,, they know nothing" .. They jump from great heights, they pick up spiders , some even attempting to put them in their mouths. They love, not knowing if love could ever hurt, or turn into a backstabbing affair. things like that. i love you , you love me, and i friend you you friend me.
As we get older, there are more things to be concerned about,, more things to be aware of, more to the list. House, bills, things, jobs, stability. whatever. you make the important decisions.. and what you do now, could affect more people than you think. friends are no longer just play mates but they play a bigger part in emotional ,, dependency? ,, things could turn ugly. backstabbing ,, , lovers become affairs. you don;t do things as daringly anymore, there is something called FACE.
as we step into adulthood. Can we ever have the same kind of fearlessness we once had as a child? Seemingly ,the more you know, the more you become fearful.. is it ? ... but i hope, that noe day, i can overcome more fears , just like a child again,, and hope that i the more i know, the less fearless i will be and just dare to be something...
then, does it mean that, if we ever say things like " i wish i could be a child again".. show that we just want to give up on what is going on now,, and just shirk responsibility? . feels like it.
on the side note, N.U.S finally replied! and they are offering me a place in their science faculty~!
and Smu and Ntu accepted me into their accounting faculties. ,I am almost decided! haha and i want to make a right choice,, . i really do. . . ._. because, right now ,, i am considering cognitive ( social) sciences,, and science.. . ., its a whole set of.. things to consider again. . . head spins when i think about it. . . .
but you know, just something about entering an entirely new school and having to make new friends again, it makes me feel quite weary,,, just,, something, . .
괜찮아요. .
할수있어@!
what we could have been, 7:18 AM.
