Monday, September 28, 2009
hmm i just had my first exam, and seriously,, , sigh
think i was pretty dumb becuase i was shuffling through and fro from my table to the side of the hall to get my caculator, then realising that i forgot my card and etc so when i was shuffling through the seats pretty much everyone caould see that i was the idiot who was moving around like some electron bounded in a small space.
i dont really care if people see the cool air around me or not, some just act cool and calm when they are anxious but i am expressive therefore you see that i am anxious, yes, and i dont really care about that.
so irritating, i feel like i have been wasting my time on the useless things , and they dont bring me much good. i have insomnia i think , ic ant seem t ofall asleep.
on the account that ifell asleep at four am yesterday morning , went for 8 am lecture, had school till four, came home to study, and went back to school at 8 pm to ten pm for an exam., and since the exam, i have been awake till now, . prbably a lot of things have happened, but i dont feellike they have happened. haha
it seems pretty do able, i think i sabotaged my chances of getting close to a perfect grade becuase i kept tricking myself,
perhaps, what man,, i cant stand it that i have to wrok twice as hard as other people just to achieve the same result , i dont know why, why i have to read a same set of notes more times than other people to graps the same concept. it is really irritating!!!!!! ah
but i cant compare like that, but i just cant help but just feel dumber than otehr people. but perhaps my purpose of being here is to show that if you are willing to put in twice the amount of effort, then you can still get to do somet tihngs. i guess.
quite dumb , lke who in the world values inefficiency in the first place. even if the carnot cycle has a certain degree of inefficiency,and produces work,, and have to take in more energy before producing a certain amount of work. ,and even in economics, inefficiency cannot be tolerated!! in some ways, haha
whatever.
i am so irritated at myself, so irritated that , i keep forgetting what i learnt so easily,, why why hwy . so irritating
not every problem has a simple ducking solution.
so freaking dumb becuas i studied almost the entire set of notes, tried to remember every freaking definition cos i dont want to miss out key words, and,, i skipped one set of notes , hahaha and,, -_- which, haha made me miss one important concept. dumbass
seriously dumb la
must study right'? becuse if i dont study right, then i can never do ok, people keep saying {" dont stress, dont stress" haha... -__- its like telling me to stop bleeding when there is a huge laceration on my hand and my red blood cells are spilling all over the place. what you can be is a bandage! you can try to alleviate my pain. yes. hahah
of course, i believe tht i would love to be less stressed out. perhaps i am stressed out becuse i am irritated that i cant remember things so well ,and for the fact that the pyhsical chemistry e,xam is only like 3 days away and i cante ven do the tutorial, am i dead or not, when i tried to study the same freaking FREAKING set of notes so many many many many many many fucking times. i think its the fact that i cant seem to be able to solve aNY question even though i have read the notes,,,,,,,,,, ZzzzZzZ
angry, but its ok
irritating,
please f off, cos you dont know what i am doing.
its gonna be a better day tomorrow
the day when he stops ignoring me,
the day when i make better use of my time and not come online and do better things like read the holy book. or read soem lecture notes
~~~~~~~~~~~~
time out, its three 22, i am still wide awake, bright eyed. insomnia,i survived on three hours os sleep hahaha.. not that iever viewed the time of when i slept as of importance,such a trivial matter isnt it ? ? just suddenly its quite amazing that i raelise that its insomnia, that its amusing.
i feel a challenge coming up , i should take this rish
think i was pretty dumb becuase i was shuffling through and fro from my table to the side of the hall to get my caculator, then realising that i forgot my card and etc so when i was shuffling through the seats pretty much everyone caould see that i was the idiot who was moving around like some electron bounded in a small space.
i dont really care if people see the cool air around me or not, some just act cool and calm when they are anxious but i am expressive therefore you see that i am anxious, yes, and i dont really care about that.
so irritating, i feel like i have been wasting my time on the useless things , and they dont bring me much good. i have insomnia i think , ic ant seem t ofall asleep.
on the account that ifell asleep at four am yesterday morning , went for 8 am lecture, had school till four, came home to study, and went back to school at 8 pm to ten pm for an exam., and since the exam, i have been awake till now, . prbably a lot of things have happened, but i dont feellike they have happened. haha
it seems pretty do able, i think i sabotaged my chances of getting close to a perfect grade becuase i kept tricking myself,
perhaps, what man,, i cant stand it that i have to wrok twice as hard as other people just to achieve the same result , i dont know why, why i have to read a same set of notes more times than other people to graps the same concept. it is really irritating!!!!!! ah
but i cant compare like that, but i just cant help but just feel dumber than otehr people. but perhaps my purpose of being here is to show that if you are willing to put in twice the amount of effort, then you can still get to do somet tihngs. i guess.
quite dumb , lke who in the world values inefficiency in the first place. even if the carnot cycle has a certain degree of inefficiency,and produces work,, and have to take in more energy before producing a certain amount of work. ,and even in economics, inefficiency cannot be tolerated!! in some ways, haha
whatever.
i am so irritated at myself, so irritated that , i keep forgetting what i learnt so easily,, why why hwy . so irritating
not every problem has a simple ducking solution.
so freaking dumb becuas i studied almost the entire set of notes, tried to remember every freaking definition cos i dont want to miss out key words, and,, i skipped one set of notes , hahaha and,, -_- which, haha made me miss one important concept. dumbass
seriously dumb la
must study right'? becuse if i dont study right, then i can never do ok, people keep saying {" dont stress, dont stress" haha... -__- its like telling me to stop bleeding when there is a huge laceration on my hand and my red blood cells are spilling all over the place. what you can be is a bandage! you can try to alleviate my pain. yes. hahah
of course, i believe tht i would love to be less stressed out. perhaps i am stressed out becuse i am irritated that i cant remember things so well ,and for the fact that the pyhsical chemistry e,xam is only like 3 days away and i cante ven do the tutorial, am i dead or not, when i tried to study the same freaking FREAKING set of notes so many many many many many many fucking times. i think its the fact that i cant seem to be able to solve aNY question even though i have read the notes,,,,,,,,,, ZzzzZzZ
angry, but its ok
irritating,
please f off, cos you dont know what i am doing.
its gonna be a better day tomorrow
the day when he stops ignoring me,
the day when i make better use of my time and not come online and do better things like read the holy book. or read soem lecture notes
~~~~~~~~~~~~
time out, its three 22, i am still wide awake, bright eyed. insomnia,i survived on three hours os sleep hahaha.. not that iever viewed the time of when i slept as of importance,such a trivial matter isnt it ? ? just suddenly its quite amazing that i raelise that its insomnia, that its amusing.
i feel a challenge coming up , i should take this rish
what we could have been, 11:40 AM.
