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Wednesday, October 28, 2009

I’ve got peace like a river,
I’ve got peace like a river,
I’ve got peace like a river in my soul,
I’ve got peace like a river,
I’ve got peace like a river,
I’ve got peace like a river in my soul~




why is a river described as peaceful?
haha perhaps its the trinkling of water~
drop by drop






man, i dont know what my next move should be .
should i do a minor? i think it would come in handy.. haha
think about it !! : )

what we could have been, 8:59 AM.
Monday, October 26, 2009

nothing is worth remembering, becuase at the end of the day, everything, is really just nothing.

i mean, so what if you got your way, and at the end of the day you offended everyone else.

so what if u earned all the money in the world, and yet you have no one you can share this with.

so what?




really all these is erally just nothing, whatever achieved ,is all just nothing.
really, so what ?



we must learn to let go more easily becuase at the end of the day, it is just a memory, and everything is just, there, haha so we must, live in the moment!! haha
really think about having a good journey : )n ot that everything would be a bed of roses man, but just how you deal with whatever that comes : )







so anyway, how am i ? i finally got like my full 8 hours of sleep haha apart from that, i realised taht people have been thinking that they can read my like a book, but i am not, i am not a book, lol no one should be treated liek a book, or a story... becuase what story books aer,, aer predictable, certain, can be comparable. and that , is not what out lives are.





haha
hmm GOTTA STUDY finals are comiNG!
gotta study

: )

what we could have been, 7:44 PM.
Sunday, October 25, 2009

HAHA : )
live, laugh and love.

nothing is worth remembering, becuase eat the end of the day, everything, is really just nothing.

i mean, so what if you got your way, and at the end of the day you offended everyone else.

so what if u earned all the money in the world, and yet you have no one you can share this with.

so what?




really all these is erally just nothing, whatever achieved ,is all just nothing.
really, so what ?


i wrote a report and i felt , wow about it ,cos i put in all my effort.

when i read it again just 2 weeks later, i realised that, gee , its really just nothing.



you do something nice for someone, and yeah its just the least you can do,, and ultimately, its really just nothing.


dont take me for being pessimistic, i am just saying that we should learn to let live, and just live in the moment : ) smile whenever possible and always remember the people who helped you. for the things achieved is realy just nothing .




hahaa ok this week is going to be great : )


Dear lord i just lift up all of these unworthy things that occupy my mind into your hands. all these insignificant things, ultimately i want to be fruitful with my time ,and do the things that are important. Help me learn how to let go easily.

amen






you, whom i loved, are gone, i learn to let go..
you, whom i trusted, are gone, i learn to let go..
smile : ) and love. haha

what we could have been, 8:35 AM.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009









a clean, tune this song has,,
and his voice is very gentle, haha
sounds sad right thigs song, , ,






a tad addicted to it,





oh well ,yay i am finally CATCHING UP! on tutorials and crap.
ONE LAST LAB REPORT TO DO : ) and i am DONE! with lab reports for the rest of the semester!! HAHA : )






haha

why you do this to me ?

what we could have been, 11:20 AM.
Monday, October 19, 2009

can I tell you a dream i had yesterday?
Haha I hope that it will repeat itself again,, hh
And that maybe tomorrow it could come alive?!hahaha

could i tell you , how i felt like i was floating on air, that feeling is nice to remember.

but of course, when you wake up, you know , man, it’s all surreal.

ha-ha, well that’s the great thing about imagination, you get to place yourself in situations you’ve never been in before, be a mafia boss, big shot actress. Flying a plane, in outer space doing somersaults, doing a moon walk, being so so so good that you can make people cry with the gentle strike on the piano keys. Things that, never really got a chance happen or you wish to happen.

Haha, i want to work hard towards fulfilling a greater purpose.

Study study, got tonnes to study, math tutorials to catch up on. Gotta recap the stuff I learnt last half of the semester. Forgot them all already!!hhh,








not everything is about school ? ? LET ME THINK ,, nope i cant think of anything. haha

what we could have been, 8:12 AM.
Sunday, October 18, 2009

finally finished my lab report. .one more to go next week and I AM DONE with lab chem lab reports for the semester. : ) : )







anyway, jap exam coming up,, mannnnnn i still cant count properly!!!



hahahaa
私はにほんごをべきょしていません~~!
gotta start studtying for finals too!! HAHA
jia you !! Woopie

what we could have been, 9:08 AM.
Friday, October 16, 2009

maybe a day or two to think it through, calmly of course.







yes i want to be a dream chaser,

i will be a dream chaser,
i will find something to chase,
hahaha












oh well,mean while
let me just concentrate on my chem, and everything , haha



so tired,, but i must continue : ) !
press on ! haha
finishing my lab report! HAHAHA

what we could have been, 7:31 AM.
Thursday, October 15, 2009

i cant really describe whatr i am feeling now

i am not angry, neither am i frustrated such that i am driving my head into the pillow.




its all this uncertainty, two types i am going to describe..

Uncertainty is good, in the sense that uncertainty with life makes it so exciting and unpredictable. We love predictability right, makes things stable,,, predictable,,,, safe... but uncertainty takes all of that away, it makes adventure,. forcing you to do things that youlve never done before, testing limist,, testing your boundaries,, which is why, you should accept challenges with open arms.




but,, an unceratinty which i really ,, erally dislike,, is uncertainty with who i am. uncertainty that makes me ,, so ,,,, unstable. strange right. I cant seem to figure out what kidn of person i am still. Still not konwing how i would really react in certain situations, what i really like. Even today, i bought a pair of shorts,A SIMPLE insignificant task really. and why do i mention such a small nitty gritty event? ,, becuause i couldn't even pick one that i like, Not that much goes through my mind when i buy it, , i dont even think about colour coordination. I dont know really, i like almost everything. But now knowing what i like really, that,, bugs me. this is the frustrating part.



my identityl Oh kK K K KK where are you ?? ?




cant seem to think out of the box.
i am not creative, like how people think i am .






i am not anything! for i am just , a human body, housing a soul, housing a brain, housing a someone, who ,, doesnt know what to do.







i am thinking of ,, switching majors to study life science.
how fickle right its been like almpst 7 months since the passing of the phase of " what do i wanna do" ,. but right now, i dont mind doing chemistry, itsjust that,, i dont seem to be so interested in it,, as much as i would like to,, the very reason what i liked chemistry, was when i discovered abotu the quantanery structures of protein,, and i found it so fascinating!! that how applicable it can be!! so fascinating! ,,, and right now,, what i am studying about how your molecular orbitals look like this,,




but,, there is still time for me tothnk about it. Changing course is a big risk. but like i said, the uncertainty,, its what makes it so exciting.. but at the same time, i am questioning if that is something i am truly interested in . . . - _ - . if i do decide to change,, then i must do it within next semester. LOL AND AM I REALLY changing due to the heat of the moment? haha like OH LOOKS INTERESTING, then i change? haha





please answer me, Stupid question. no one can right.




FICKLE fickle fickle minded.
can you be more decisive?
fear is not my only limit, if it was, i would have done it .Ability is my limit. can i do it WELL? is the concern about doing well?








ok if not~~~ i will just study a minor!! IN LIFE SCIENCE ! at least i am not really neglecting an interest, or~~~ minor in psyche/ F.S





haha, of course i am not even considering stuff like bidpoints or wtv, thats another limit, which i am not too concerned with.








seriously, i learnt my lesson, that doing something you dont even have a slight interest in ,, is very, is, ,very, very, bitter. in chinese, we say ku.. ( not about chemistry tho ) haha

what we could have been, 4:05 AM.
Tuesday, October 13, 2009

how much more dumb can i get?
really
really
really








so umb, so dumb dumb dumb ,udmb




why so dumb?
i cant seem to shut up!!
can i just please shut up really
everyone eles has ,,other concerns,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
dumbass really







i wanna be not the same, but at the same time i am so the same,












yes, i am jealous.





























keep turning , keep turning, away

what we could have been, 9:12 AM.
Saturday, October 10, 2009

can i tell you , how this week is once again, coming to an end,
and soon i will be back in school ,and the whole rush will come back again.




I wonder, i really want to do something i like, but could i tell you that what i like is what i cant seem to do? haha,but i cant figure out what i like exactly. I cant seem to be sharp and observant enough to be a good scientist, i dont know why. Becuase of this lacking ,i wonder how i can even survive in this world in years to come. I am searching, Searching very hard, i am still searching, searching,,, searching . . . searching for me .







but its ok, i will just continue!! i will fight on , because i guess, that is why i am here, to learn all these things. I am on this journey, which i will continue, and i will learn learn learn. Learn more things about myself , perhaps. haha


i should not keep letting what people say move me so easily, make me doubt so easily.
Gotta be firm in what i believe in!














haha meanwhile, i am learning, the ways,, i am writing a lab report . two due next week, and i am 3 tutorials behind time for mathematics. haha,,,, and i still have three bio lectures to re-listen to,, and yup! hahah


so thats all for a chiong week to come!~~













gonna press on!!keep on keeping on!!

what we could have been, 8:40 AM.
Monday, October 5, 2009

haha so its ,e learning week, which means that
i can do things at a more laxed pace, and i can just, spend some time on myself. haha



well a lot of things have happened. Did i mention that i am part of the planning C omm for next year;s camp ? haha sounds exciting really!




gotta go back to school to do laboratory work, : )








anyway, i really must change,
the fact that i was really too oversensitive, i think now i am insensitive. gonna change that.
gonna change my kua zhang behaviour,.
gonna change my vulgar mannerisms,
gonna remain strong!!






anyway. better go sleep now!! : )


i will change! i promise

what we could have been, 12:12 PM.
Thursday, October 1, 2009

fucked up
i am very angry



cant get the freaking answers!!!!!! damn it






okok, dont freak , just, continue and do whatever question you can do,,



I SO CANNOT WAIT FOR TOMORROW TO BE OVERRRRRRRR!!!







and i really want to sleep
this is really, haha against my will leh!
i want TO SLEEP
but ic ant cos i have to study,, cso i still dont understand!! hahah
this is the first time i am so unprepared for an exam






haha, oh dear lord.



SAVE MEeeeeeeeeeeeee~

what we could have been, 6:54 AM.

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