Wednesday, December 16, 2009
prolly writing this at this time would not be so good,
sometimes we just want to leave our hurt or whatever just buried somewhere in there, just so unwilling to take it out, why so? we dont really wanna cry, we dont wanna be judged for it by sharing, we dont want this, we dont want that . But, well u gotta get it out, ii;m feeling fine for now, prolly at the end of this, i would feel pretty crappy. i guess.
so lets see,,, , what has been bothering me?
seriously, as for the issue of self esteem, its always been there, just somewhere buried in there, adn when the school term begins, it just gets set aside, which is totally cool by the wawy. but during holz like rightn ow, it gets worst sometimes, becusae i have more time to think about it . Self esteem , ,, perhaps its just that i get shaken too easily, self esteem ( not my physical looks u ___) in the sense that i dont know myself very much. . what i want or whatever. which pisses me off sometimes,Especially when it cmoes to pursuging whatever in life. i just, ,.. . am not too excited abotu it .sometimes i go yeh i am apursuing a science degree.. . and people give the D: look! which,, really just cna dampen it for me, iguess if its totally your passion , you woulld not be so shaken by what others say .u know what i mean? so pehrpaps soemtiesm i just suspect that, i could have chosen this course narrowmindedly. now i wouldn;t say what exactly. but u get my point. Sure this course is so interesting,, and whoa , it really opens up my mind to a lot of stuff. haha,, ,
secodnly, its just that, it annoys me so damn much when i am playing a piece or wtv. and people go YEH its not my taste. WTH how come people cannot live in the moment? i mean,, why do they always have to relate it to themselves? its very,,,,,,,,,, self centered. or why do they have to freaking compareeeeeeeeeeeeee to other freaking people ? piss off man .ITS A NICE SONG , so why dont they appreciate it ? they HAVE to say like " oh i prefer the other piece ( which was obviously played by someone else) .but duh its a different setting, piece , style altogher right....... man! or worst still is when they say things like YEH she plays better than you right!?!!?!? DUH LAHHHHHHHHH OK I GET IT I AM NOT GRADE XYZ....................... - - can you at least applaud my freaking effort. damn.
싸때기대린다...seriously..............
ok perhaps my examples are not concrete. sounds immature? but , its difficult to put it down in words soetmiesm.
EQ PEOPLE EQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ
damn it ,and to think people spoke to me like that when i was THIRTEEN?? wth, peopel seriously should stop being so,, ___ ,, quite dredatory for kids sometimes. Which reminds me , when isee people talking to me 13 year old cousins like WHOA~~~~~~~ YOU DID THIS ... ignorance they say! GOODNESS open your eyes please. and i wonder, man they are talking to them like they are 5 ,,, when i was 13 people spoke to me as if i was ... how cnat explain.. just nothing like THAT. hahaha,.. not that i am jealous. just that when i see it now, i realised that MAN , thats not how one should be treated when they are 13. haha,,
mannnnnnn
i pray for a dream
i PRAY For a dream
i pray for a dream
st 2010? man i dont know ! hahahaha
do you think i am up to it ? i think i can, but !! mannnnnnn i just hope i am not wrong about it
God please answer my prayers..............
i dont htink i wanna dig up any other stuff, cos there is just too much coming outttttt and it makes me feel like crap really.
school is such a depressing place sometimes. i went back today and this sudden DRAIN of energy out of me , and i feel so ______________________________ , sucks the life out of me really.
o its late.
just~~ sleep.
gotta go stock up clothingggggggggggggggggggg
MAN why are white clothes so hard to find!!!!!!!!!!!!!
sometimes we just want to leave our hurt or whatever just buried somewhere in there, just so unwilling to take it out, why so? we dont really wanna cry, we dont wanna be judged for it by sharing, we dont want this, we dont want that . But, well u gotta get it out, ii;m feeling fine for now, prolly at the end of this, i would feel pretty crappy. i guess.
so lets see,,, , what has been bothering me?
seriously, as for the issue of self esteem, its always been there, just somewhere buried in there, adn when the school term begins, it just gets set aside, which is totally cool by the wawy. but during holz like rightn ow, it gets worst sometimes, becusae i have more time to think about it . Self esteem , ,, perhaps its just that i get shaken too easily, self esteem ( not my physical looks u ___) in the sense that i dont know myself very much. . what i want or whatever. which pisses me off sometimes,Especially when it cmoes to pursuging whatever in life. i just, ,.. . am not too excited abotu it .sometimes i go yeh i am apursuing a science degree.. . and people give the D: look! which,, really just cna dampen it for me, iguess if its totally your passion , you woulld not be so shaken by what others say .u know what i mean? so pehrpaps soemtiesm i just suspect that, i could have chosen this course narrowmindedly. now i wouldn;t say what exactly. but u get my point. Sure this course is so interesting,, and whoa , it really opens up my mind to a lot of stuff. haha,, ,
secodnly, its just that, it annoys me so damn much when i am playing a piece or wtv. and people go YEH its not my taste. WTH how come people cannot live in the moment? i mean,, why do they always have to relate it to themselves? its very,,,,,,,,,, self centered. or why do they have to freaking compareeeeeeeeeeeeee to other freaking people ? piss off man .ITS A NICE SONG , so why dont they appreciate it ? they HAVE to say like " oh i prefer the other piece ( which was obviously played by someone else) .but duh its a different setting, piece , style altogher right....... man! or worst still is when they say things like YEH she plays better than you right!?!!?!? DUH LAHHHHHHHHH OK I GET IT I AM NOT GRADE XYZ....................... - - can you at least applaud my freaking effort. damn.
싸때기대린다...seriously..............
ok perhaps my examples are not concrete. sounds immature? but , its difficult to put it down in words soetmiesm.
EQ PEOPLE EQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQQ
damn it ,and to think people spoke to me like that when i was THIRTEEN?? wth, peopel seriously should stop being so,, ___ ,, quite dredatory for kids sometimes. Which reminds me , when isee people talking to me 13 year old cousins like WHOA~~~~~~~ YOU DID THIS ... ignorance they say! GOODNESS open your eyes please. and i wonder, man they are talking to them like they are 5 ,,, when i was 13 people spoke to me as if i was ... how cnat explain.. just nothing like THAT. hahaha,.. not that i am jealous. just that when i see it now, i realised that MAN , thats not how one should be treated when they are 13. haha,,
mannnnnnn
i pray for a dream
i PRAY For a dream
i pray for a dream
st 2010? man i dont know ! hahahaha
do you think i am up to it ? i think i can, but !! mannnnnnn i just hope i am not wrong about it
God please answer my prayers..............
i dont htink i wanna dig up any other stuff, cos there is just too much coming outttttt and it makes me feel like crap really.
school is such a depressing place sometimes. i went back today and this sudden DRAIN of energy out of me , and i feel so ______________________________ , sucks the life out of me really.
o its late.
just~~ sleep.
gotta go stock up clothingggggggggggggggggggg
MAN why are white clothes so hard to find!!!!!!!!!!!!!
what we could have been, 10:09 AM.
