Saturday, January 30, 2010
: ) hahaha
what we could have been, 9:24 AM.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
just because i laugh and joke about things it does not mean that iam not serious
damn agnry
arep eople BLIND or what
its so annoying that girls that are HEALTHY or fit will say that they are FAT, ok fine i understand the occasional feeling that you;ve not done anything healthy becuase of a festive season and say that you feel fat, fine point taken,
but seriously. if someone keeps insisting that they are fat then,, i can;lt help them
. AND I AM NOT FAT. i am not shameless about saything this, because i am really not.
freaking shit man, whats wrong with people. Just becuase i look a little bit chubby, it does not mean i am FAT, and my bmi is a healthy 21 and i am HAPPY about it .
so shut the heck up about it !
i am just pissed at how people keep saying that i am fat and what is your point? dont come and tell me that i am fat just to insult me ,you only etll someone that they have really become fat when their weight really proves to be of a health hazard.
do you know how many people are actually killing themselves because of weight? slowly by just gaining more and more wieght.. hypertension, diebeties,, clogging their systems, not gaining enough nutirents, caNNOT even walk to school cannot even run around the track once, isn;t this a more worrying SIGHT? they are KILLING themselves slowly and do not even know it !
so what if i am not SKINNY ,it does not mean thtat i am FAT. i do drink a lot of water and i do exercise regularly. and EXERCISING does not mean that it is for the SOLE PURPOSE of losing weight, exercising is a form of leisure, release endorphins and even taming your oh so lazy flesh when you feel the least like doing it.
SO annoying, its ok to eat cihps or eat chocolate or WHATEVEr, there is no need to harp on the fact that those are not as healthy ( BECUASE SERIOUSLY you think about it almost everything else is not healthy when you compare it to that of a carrot stick ). if one does it everyday of course it would be fattening lah! if one does it once in a long while then its ok what,, you call them luxary or happy foods right, you dont indudulge in luxary every single day.
ok so let me eat my chooclate whenever i want, i do run and swim often and i am fit enough to run up the staircase to my house and can escape if there is a fire, so stop dissing me and say that i am FAT because i am NOT!
does one not think about me having insecurities ? obviously everyone struggles with problem areas slightly thick aruond the FACE or LEGS or what right, hence apple shaped pear whatever.
sometimes i feel like being an unkind person and just diss the person about everything else. duh there are so many other flaws that people are not happy baout with themselves and i shall not be mean and say anything.
EVERYONE comes in different shapes and sizes
just beucase one has a chubbier looking face , it does not imply that you can call them fat.
just becaeus one has a fleshier ASS it does not imply that you can call them fat
just becasue one has am ore CURVACEOUS HIP it does not imply that you can call them fat
just becuaes one has chunkier leg, it implies that you can call them fat.
people are blind cos they only look at the freaking FACE and judge immediately . wth. which duh immediately i get shot at .
now i know why tyra banks made a statement saying SO WHAT,
because no matter what, even though if you have very smooth nice skin, or very nice hands, or very wrinkled free face,, or a taught tummy or what not, people are bound to pick on your one freaking flaw and make you feel bad about it .
because all these things are subjective.
some people love a runway some people dont
some people love chunky legs some people don;t
you;ll never know!
damn agnry
arep eople BLIND or what
its so annoying that girls that are HEALTHY or fit will say that they are FAT, ok fine i understand the occasional feeling that you;ve not done anything healthy becuase of a festive season and say that you feel fat, fine point taken,
but seriously. if someone keeps insisting that they are fat then,, i can;lt help them
. AND I AM NOT FAT. i am not shameless about saything this, because i am really not.
freaking shit man, whats wrong with people. Just becuase i look a little bit chubby, it does not mean i am FAT, and my bmi is a healthy 21 and i am HAPPY about it .
so shut the heck up about it !
i am just pissed at how people keep saying that i am fat and what is your point? dont come and tell me that i am fat just to insult me ,you only etll someone that they have really become fat when their weight really proves to be of a health hazard.
do you know how many people are actually killing themselves because of weight? slowly by just gaining more and more wieght.. hypertension, diebeties,, clogging their systems, not gaining enough nutirents, caNNOT even walk to school cannot even run around the track once, isn;t this a more worrying SIGHT? they are KILLING themselves slowly and do not even know it !
so what if i am not SKINNY ,it does not mean thtat i am FAT. i do drink a lot of water and i do exercise regularly. and EXERCISING does not mean that it is for the SOLE PURPOSE of losing weight, exercising is a form of leisure, release endorphins and even taming your oh so lazy flesh when you feel the least like doing it.
SO annoying, its ok to eat cihps or eat chocolate or WHATEVEr, there is no need to harp on the fact that those are not as healthy ( BECUASE SERIOUSLY you think about it almost everything else is not healthy when you compare it to that of a carrot stick ). if one does it everyday of course it would be fattening lah! if one does it once in a long while then its ok what,, you call them luxary or happy foods right, you dont indudulge in luxary every single day.
ok so let me eat my chooclate whenever i want, i do run and swim often and i am fit enough to run up the staircase to my house and can escape if there is a fire, so stop dissing me and say that i am FAT because i am NOT!
does one not think about me having insecurities ? obviously everyone struggles with problem areas slightly thick aruond the FACE or LEGS or what right, hence apple shaped pear whatever.
sometimes i feel like being an unkind person and just diss the person about everything else. duh there are so many other flaws that people are not happy baout with themselves and i shall not be mean and say anything.
EVERYONE comes in different shapes and sizes
just beucase one has a chubbier looking face , it does not imply that you can call them fat.
just becaeus one has a fleshier ASS it does not imply that you can call them fat
just becasue one has am ore CURVACEOUS HIP it does not imply that you can call them fat
just becuaes one has chunkier leg, it implies that you can call them fat.
people are blind cos they only look at the freaking FACE and judge immediately . wth. which duh immediately i get shot at .
now i know why tyra banks made a statement saying SO WHAT,
because no matter what, even though if you have very smooth nice skin, or very nice hands, or very wrinkled free face,, or a taught tummy or what not, people are bound to pick on your one freaking flaw and make you feel bad about it .
because all these things are subjective.
some people love a runway some people dont
some people love chunky legs some people don;t
you;ll never know!
what we could have been, 5:15 AM.
Monday, January 25, 2010
everyone has their own weaknesses
insecurity isau very terrible weakness
i;ve never mentioned to anyone about it in specifics before, but i think it is also very blatant becauase you can tell from one;'s body language and the way they speak
in particular. in case you don't know, an insecure person is quite defensive.
which i don't deny. i am defensive.
sigh, i wanna know myself better, i really do,
i am not a ncie person, i am actaully mean.
haha i am not a good person to be around
horrible thing to have
but for now, just laugh like no tomorrow,
i wish to just put aside al these things,, but
time is running out,,,time is really running out : (
insecurity isau very terrible weakness
i;ve never mentioned to anyone about it in specifics before, but i think it is also very blatant becauase you can tell from one;'s body language and the way they speak
in particular. in case you don't know, an insecure person is quite defensive.
which i don't deny. i am defensive.
sigh, i wanna know myself better, i really do,
i am not a ncie person, i am actaully mean.
haha i am not a good person to be around
horrible thing to have
but for now, just laugh like no tomorrow,
i wish to just put aside al these things,, but
time is running out,,,time is really running out : (
what we could have been, 8:38 AM.
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
it used to be so easy
to just
wake up and smile smile and say hello to every one
and no now its not, haha
why? hahaha
its ok i will be fine again
i just need to ,,,,
stop letting things trip me so easily
i will get over this, again, by myself
~ no worries!
to just
wake up and smile smile and say hello to every one
and no now its not, haha
why? hahaha
its ok i will be fine again
i just need to ,,,,
stop letting things trip me so easily
i will get over this, again, by myself
~ no worries!
what we could have been, 7:22 AM.
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
ahah
shut up!!
ok
study study study! : )
shut up!!
ok
study study study! : )
what we could have been, 8:49 AM.
Sunday, January 17, 2010
shut up
shut up
angrhy
sad
angry : (
shut up
angrhy
sad
angry : (
what we could have been, 8:03 AM.
so so angry.
so angry : (
so angry : (
what we could have been, 8:03 AM.
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Things I want to do before I die
1) Be a host of an event
2) Speak on the microphone in front of audiences and get a good response
3) Perform on the piano for a public at least once or a wedding
4) Act in a movie or a show!!
5) To be a face for something like campaign :D HAHAHA
6) Top the cohort for a module. At least once! Just once is all I ask for
7) Go for an overseas exchange programme. Be a FOREIGN student at least once!
8) Go for a voluntary community service program
Haha and still others I;ve not written.
Well some of these have been things I’ve always wanted to TRY! But you know
Part of me has always been a coward. Part of me has always wanted to be in the limelight. Part of me has always been so scared of criticism. Part of me has always been feeling inferior. I never dared to be in front of a camera cos I never thought I would be pretty enough. Part of me has always been scared to even step up and take a microphone because I can’t even stand my own voice.
It is not because things are difficult
that we do not dare.
It is because we do not dare
that they are difficult.
~ Seneca
Part of me also have been surrounded by friends who are mostly skeptical of such activities.. I think I fear being judged by them the most. ... If my fear were just taken away and if I loved my own voice and my own image then that would be awesome. It just boils down to being more secure with myself. Who I am. Who I am . I can’t even say my name is _ _ _ w/o being ~~~ about it . .. .
Haha ok this year I want to learn how to be more secure in my own skin. To be more secure of who I am . to know who I am even more ! to know what I like, what I don’t like. I can’t seem to have a good stand on anything! It’s like to me, everything is ok,, because I am ALWAYS compromising! Perhaps its just me that I don’t dare to be ,, cos I fear that friends me or whatever if I am so opinionated. But I realized that…. Haha being so compromising all the time is so bad,, so so bad,, I mean people don’t trust me cos I change my mind so often.
I wont depend on others to make me feel secure. I will rebuild myself.
Its going to be a great year I will never forget : D
1) Be a host of an event
2) Speak on the microphone in front of audiences and get a good response
3) Perform on the piano for a public at least once or a wedding
4) Act in a movie or a show!!
5) To be a face for something like campaign :D HAHAHA
6) Top the cohort for a module. At least once! Just once is all I ask for
7) Go for an overseas exchange programme. Be a FOREIGN student at least once!
8) Go for a voluntary community service program
Haha and still others I;ve not written.
Well some of these have been things I’ve always wanted to TRY! But you know
Part of me has always been a coward. Part of me has always wanted to be in the limelight. Part of me has always been so scared of criticism. Part of me has always been feeling inferior. I never dared to be in front of a camera cos I never thought I would be pretty enough. Part of me has always been scared to even step up and take a microphone because I can’t even stand my own voice.
It is not because things are difficult
that we do not dare.
It is because we do not dare
that they are difficult.
~ Seneca
Part of me also have been surrounded by friends who are mostly skeptical of such activities.. I think I fear being judged by them the most. ... If my fear were just taken away and if I loved my own voice and my own image then that would be awesome. It just boils down to being more secure with myself. Who I am. Who I am . I can’t even say my name is _ _ _ w/o being ~~~ about it . .. .
Haha ok this year I want to learn how to be more secure in my own skin. To be more secure of who I am . to know who I am even more ! to know what I like, what I don’t like. I can’t seem to have a good stand on anything! It’s like to me, everything is ok,, because I am ALWAYS compromising! Perhaps its just me that I don’t dare to be ,, cos I fear that friends me or whatever if I am so opinionated. But I realized that…. Haha being so compromising all the time is so bad,, so so bad,, I mean people don’t trust me cos I change my mind so often.
I wont depend on others to make me feel secure. I will rebuild myself.
Its going to be a great year I will never forget : D
what we could have been, 8:45 AM.
Monday, January 11, 2010
:) schoo
what we could have been, 8:38 AM.
Friday, January 8, 2010
my heart feels like stone
an empty stone
an empty yet brittle stone
i can;t feel
i can feel . anything.
yet my heart feels so brittle
like you could just drop it and shatter it into pieces
i am depressed maybe
expressionless maybe
am i just dependent on the wrong things for insurance?
: (
an empty stone
an empty yet brittle stone
i can;t feel
i can feel . anything.
yet my heart feels so brittle
like you could just drop it and shatter it into pieces
i am depressed maybe
expressionless maybe
am i just dependent on the wrong things for insurance?
: (
what we could have been, 8:20 AM.
Thursday, January 7, 2010
no no meaning
meaningless
you gotta hate to tthink sometimes
i just hate to rake up so much emotions and not having any of that
chaos resolution moment
too much going on in my head
get it off get it off get it off
haha
if i had a little capsule i would like to just fill it up and bury it in the ground
i am not angry at anything
i just cant seem to feel for anything
i;m too disappointed. i must say
too disappointed
with everything! and myself.
omg just get me out of this
i dont want to die old and not experiencing friendship
i dont wnna die old bitter and cold hearted
i dont want to die, not being remembered
i dont want to die alone
i am a scardey cat
i am cowardly
God please take away my fear
Help me find myself.
help me find myeslf
meaningless
you gotta hate to tthink sometimes
i just hate to rake up so much emotions and not having any of that
chaos resolution moment
too much going on in my head
get it off get it off get it off
haha
if i had a little capsule i would like to just fill it up and bury it in the ground
i am not angry at anything
i just cant seem to feel for anything
i;m too disappointed. i must say
too disappointed
with everything! and myself.
omg just get me out of this
i dont want to die old and not experiencing friendship
i dont wnna die old bitter and cold hearted
i dont want to die, not being remembered
i dont want to die alone
i am a scardey cat
i am cowardly
God please take away my fear
Help me find myself.
help me find myeslf
what we could have been, 8:53 AM.
what is the big deal of not having any sleep
what is theb ig deal of skipping meals
what is the big deal of anything?
yeh i have lost my enthusiasm in so many things
i cant even be bothered to show expression! haha
this holidays i have been great becuase, hmm hahah
i wanna feel souless and wonder for a bit
yuo can say i have been robbed of my own opinion
i barely have any of my own opinion. you can just say that i am so used to conforming to other people;s opinion... .
peopel are not concerned wit my opinion most of the time
i really wonder why
they don't quote me.
what does this say about me?
i am not reliable? becuase i am so blur and unsure most of the time. is it . ?
and i heard everything about everyone else
and i dont think they have heard my point
or perhaps when i speak its just that they hear the same thing
which ! hahaha
dont be offended by my sianzed look now
cos seiously i cant be bothered. yup
cant be bothered
stop talking to me like that
hhhh
oh well
next sem
cap 5.0
i am prepared to go forward!
bring it on!
what is theb ig deal of skipping meals
what is the big deal of anything?
yeh i have lost my enthusiasm in so many things
i cant even be bothered to show expression! haha
this holidays i have been great becuase, hmm hahah
i wanna feel souless and wonder for a bit
yuo can say i have been robbed of my own opinion
i barely have any of my own opinion. you can just say that i am so used to conforming to other people;s opinion... .
peopel are not concerned wit my opinion most of the time
i really wonder why
they don't quote me.
what does this say about me?
i am not reliable? becuase i am so blur and unsure most of the time. is it . ?
and i heard everything about everyone else
and i dont think they have heard my point
or perhaps when i speak its just that they hear the same thing
which ! hahaha
dont be offended by my sianzed look now
cos seiously i cant be bothered. yup
cant be bothered
stop talking to me like that
hhhh
oh well
next sem
cap 5.0
i am prepared to go forward!
bring it on!
what we could have been, 2:36 AM.
Saturday, January 2, 2010
um yeh nothing to say
oh well
just
a little sad the past few days
but its getting better i suppose
just jealousy getting in the way
oh well! anwyay left 1 week of holzzzzzzz - - -
PLAYPLAYPLAY! : )-
oh well
just
a little sad the past few days
but its getting better i suppose
just jealousy getting in the way
oh well! anwyay left 1 week of holzzzzzzz - - -
PLAYPLAYPLAY! : )-
what we could have been, 7:56 AM.
