its so tough

my TTB for the next few days

my goodness

super sian

i really hope for big things

i;' m going to cry

so much to do,,,

ok ia m so lazy

sigh,

i dont know

just highlight the portions i agree with,



n general, ESFJs are helpful people who place a high value on harmony. Paying close attention to people's needs and wants, they work well with others to complete tasks in a timely and accurate way. ESFJs follow through on their commitments. They like closure and prefer structured, organized situations in which warmth and compassion are shown. They contribute to others by anticipating their day-to-day concerns and handling them with warmth and efficiency. ESFJs are at their best in organizing people to get a job .


Because ESFJs are caring individuals, they expect to give and receive in their relationships. Because others may not be as thoughtful as the ESFJ, it is a possible source of disappointment to them if they expect the same awareness and caring on the part of the partner. Being practical and realistic, they may not always like effusive shows of affection and prefer moderation instead. ESFJs may be more loyal to the relationship or to the institution of marriage than to the person. ESFJs may take the end of the relationship as a personal failure






Kind, sympathetic, cooperative and forgiving. Friend types are very concerned about the welfare of those around them and are generally kind and friendly to everyone. They are very sympathetic and tend to be emotional. They are generally cooperative and accommodating, but don't usually like to take the lead in social groups

my day just begun
i am not going to sleep till tomorrow TEN PM
i need to get my life back on track, instead of being awake at 12-6 am : (
i iwill wake up by 7 and i will sleep at 2 everyday

hah





haha reently ive been dreaming agani



in my life time
i wish to work with the mythbusters on a myth!
i want to meet youbin !! : )~ hahaha and learn from her!!
i want to help out in a movie set
i want to act at least once!
i want to live in korea for a short while : )
haha~~~~~~~~~~~~~








wow nothing to do with being a chem-myst right ahha
eee~




i wish so~~: )





ok i must study hard
if i do , it shows that i grasp hold of the concepts and that i will not face so much prpblems when i reach higher level. : )


haha






OK ~ : )
study hard!!: )smile though your heart is aching

i love this song,,,,

sigh,, so excruciating, its my upteenth time reaidng the same BASIC ntoes again,,,
starting SLOW and steady, , really way way slow,, but its ok : ) i will be strong and iwill win this race : ) haha




ok,, i am down with ,,4 chapters!! HAHA 12 moer to go,,,
and this is only for one moduleeeeee - - - . . . .. .
hahahaaaaaaaaaaaa
but its ok : ) ~~ okmy plan is to finish this revision for the 3 core modeuls within 7 days.. all of it!! then i shall attempt past year papers


hee, ,tehn after the 29th paper,, i will have about 3 days to cram for 2 papers : )
just read book and tehn,, umm , ok!! hahaha ~~ i will be ok : )



ok
할수있어요~


강한여자야~ ㅎㅎㅎ!!





sigh i almost forgot how romantic korean can sound.
~~ 내 겻테있어죠@
~ 사랑하는 사삼이 생겼읍니다!
보고싶다, ㅎ

ㅎㅎ maybe it does not sound so,, but haha ~ man when u hear it from someone,, man,, "*melt* w.ell the effect is diff when u hear it in english,hahaa







ho well!! ok 3 hours to school now,, been sleeping at 6am nowadays, - - .. haha
love night study,, the best! feels so timeless,., noo ne bothers you,,
hooho~~
: )
okjust hope i dont get moody in the morn due to sleep deficiency.. haha





: ) Smile~~~~~~~
heee~

my eyes feel like they are burning

i am just not efficient
can sit here do the same thing ONE blimming essay for 8 hours,,,
inefficeint?? highly,. really ,,,, sucks big time,, i dont know if its because i waste time,,, or what,, i highly doubt that.



i can study the same set of notes so many times ,but then i dont absorb or get the same kai-qiao in the same amount of time.

i dont know if i am useless or what
i can;t even help people with their work
and i always have to ask peoeple for help.,.






am i the only pathethic soul struggling and the only person who seeks help;
haha. dumbass,






oh well no use self-pitying, jsut gonna study
i hope my effenciy improves. it sucks to have to read the same notes X 10..
: (

scardy cat,
i don;t feel any peace at all






this feeling of uncertainty really sucks
God please take it away!!!!







i always feel that i don't need people to care for me,
i mean, i am independent, and i can do thinggs for myself ,and after all i cannot really contribute to anyone or anything, ,so why should people care for me right? wait for me and everything,,,, pay for me,, ? buy for me,,,, ask me for my opinion... ACCOMPANY me,,,,,,,,.sometimes i thnik to myself;; why should people care for me ? i am perfectly flawed in every way, so mean sometimes




but htne i realisd that i always get annoyed when epopel don;t seemingly care for me ... and then i do speak in a way that seems as if they owe me something,,or i act and behave in a negative manner becuase i am pissed that no one cares for me. or at the fact that i feel that something is unjust,,,, unfair rather.. but people dont know what is it about.


i then feel bad,, and feel like no one can love me! and no one cares for me . i then blame myself thinking that becuae i am selfish,, becuase i do not let people love others. i cannot be ahppy that others are more . "well loved" than i am,, or that i cannt be happy because i am jealous, haha... yup i feel like i am selfish, then i feel "no wonder i shoudlnt be cared for."




super sian, i guess it boils down to me being selfish la, cannot behappy for others, or i just keep comparing? i dont know, i think i am just too mean thats why,
ic annot continue to repel people from my life right,i should not keep talking like they owe me something,
: (





i am so mean , i keep deterring my friends.




my heart wants to break,
i;m so strong headed at the same time i am so vulnerable.
sometimes friendships behave like a double edged sword.
pierces you so deeply in,, at the same time,, so nice and shiny, suave looking thing. very enjoyable...... haha, sometimes,.
well i cannot connect with anyone else in uni,
u wanna be my friend?



i am so dead
you know that feeling that you cannot die ,? God does not want me to die so early yet i guess, there is much i must accomplish for Him thats why,, if not he would have let me die early, haha i think i am too easily affected by what other people do,, perhaps that is why i am always so resistant to other people, i mean i am ok in a group ,, but i suck 1-1 .. cos,,sometimes ifeel like my life may not be worth sharing . so sianzed right i eman my life is about school, and nothing else.. ,,, perhaps that is why i dont erally want 1-1 friendships, i mean, being so totally vulnerable to it,, that just sucks,,,,,,, when i do open up,and i realise that someone else is shutting in,,, i am just so,,, afraid.


then sometimes u just wnat to forget everything and bury youreslf in school work,, haha,, just keep yourself busy". . vicious cycle..


perhaps this is the lesson i am to learn,,
that i should not let school just determine my life,,,
that people around me sohuld deserve better,, and they dont owe me anything,
that i shiould share more with them.
so much more,,but what else can i share?
what can i offer?







sometimes i want to just , cage myself up in a box.
perhaps sometiems we let the negative of friendships get in our way.. of enjoying the benefits of it . you know what i mean?
haha,, but no its not how we should deal with things




i guess i am just gonna take my time and learn how to do everything more lovingly...
if people do not want to accompany me, its ok : )~
if people do not wnat to be my friend, its ok,
if people cannot answer me, its ok: )
if people offend me ,, its ok! just tell them lovingly
becuase sometimes people do not know that they are mentioning something sensitive about you? and i get angry and tel them and they shun from me afterwards.


how crazy is that?
then this seperates your real friends.










sigh,, but one thing that really bugs me is a friendship that is neither here nor there.. i mean,, you can enjyo your time with them,, but at the same time they can just turn their back on you,, ,and then you feel so insecure,, did you do something wrong?,,, then when they come back to you then you feel like ,ok :) thats fnie,, nothing happened, but the whole process is so f@@@ scary . you dont know when they are going to ditch you,, you dont know when they are going to turn ytheir back on yo,, all that uncertainty thaty you were feeling whilst they were ignoring you,,

THE FEELING SUCKS.



something about having friends in christ...,, i am so blessed... it is that, there is this assurance that they are here for you, this assurance,, wow i cant explain that, i am so thankful for this..








oh God, please give me peace,, there are important things out there i need to focus on now,, ( studies -_- how typical) ,, at the same time, help me to deal things with love,, and patience. Change me.

so much stuff to do!
the night is the best,, you feel like you have all the time to yourselffffff
then when the sun shines in,, ,damn it , it means that everything will become fast paced again,, haha,,,


and of course not to forget the after effects of staying up in the night,
stepping into the lift ,rushing to school, i see shadows casted under my eyes, and i was shocked,i thought it was just lighting,, but i was wrong... hahahaha ive never really seen eyebags in my life : (


haha........................
but its ok : )




study study~

i used to be so super duper hard working,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,


there wasn;t really no question i did not have regarding anything that was printed ofor me






and now tdoday i am here ,super lazy
how do you expect God;s angels to work if you dont even get up to work,




sometimes i get too judgmetnal, i get irritated becasue of everyone;s selfishness,, i feel that there is a lot of injustice going on becuase these people seemingly dont deserve something and then i get moody,,,

today i stand here, jealous of other people;s happiness,,, then i realised that i ymself am the selfish one, for i am not able to be happy for them.










sigh,
apart form thatl
there has never been something whcih i have not worked hard for, to ahchieve
sometimes it gets hard for me to come to terms with the fact that they could all be just ,given things. by grace, u no wot i mean?















i am talentless, easily bored,
bitter, and easily jealous,

PErhaps these are traits which i must change















i;m trusting this time,
i won;t be disappointed.
i will gain back my drive.

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