hi blog,
soooooooo
i think i think too much about ALL THE UNECESSARY THNGSSSSSSSS haha





okokkoko time to study or i will regret later
: (




<3










to make someone, soooooooooooooooooooooo
breathless
haha
to make someone soooooooooo dependent
to make someone soooooooooooo wow .haha
this power cannot be mishandled .
: T



: )
okkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk
i will go study now
haha
i slept too much!! D: : (

dear blog
i want to break into a weak smile,. HAHA
knowing that i dont know, how,
haha



when i dont know how to react i just smile weakly. haha

kkk~ i am only midway in my rev for monday;s test :(
b ut its ok ~ gogo keeeeeeees

dear blog
i know my wrong ways and i will correct them
God forgive me and that i keep repenting, that He forgives me ,
sigh its so hard to control myself sometimes
gotta turn by back on my sinful ways




esp if someone know you full well, thats like ,haha
hard to hide. haha





i become childlike, sometimes
yeh most of the time i become childlike,
HAHAHA aiyaaaaaaaaaaaaa








anway yesterday i ahd MY LAST labbbbb of the semester,
not that lab is very useful, i find my self floating through lab and this semester quite a lot. just go and do things, barely learning things i guess , kinda KOK but its fine, at least during lab i get to laugh? HAHAHA

yeh ive been kinda kuku, haha like yesterday i messed up and my partner said " are you that stressed? " haha,, and well my partner left a reaction mixture on the table and turned, and the thext moment it was gone and he was so stunned. you know why? cos i ppoured away teh reaction mixture, HAHA


:)


ok so three weeks till finals
i dno if i can even catch up, there is a lot to be done and i am so kok abotu everything haha







HAVE ANOTHER TEST on mondays,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
and yesterday i came home at 6 and slept till 8 am this morning! HHAHA do i have such luxary to sleep? actually no, but my mind was so busy in my sleep that i couldn;t wake up! haha

yep aso anyway gotta get studying for monday;s test. D: .................
HAHAH I WILL DO WELL FOR THIS TEST
that means i gotta go study!



not been doing too well. : | but its totally alright
haha everything is gonna be ok
i hope :T

hi blog
i totally have no recollection of anything which has happened the past few days
maybe i amjust so tired or i just feel like i am drifting through this entire semester. hAHA
: )







ok sorry to waste your time,
i better go and sleep for a bit! get up and mug al ittle. haha
: )





<3 : ) i am happy, haha
i hope it stays like that

你要当我的蛋糕吗？
到底是谁在鼓励蛋糕？
猪。
朱古力蛋糕



哈哈。
今天有了个很不愉快的conversation. haha
3 years then go,
haha i always have this mentality whenever i feel tired trying,
but then again, the 4th year is important?
though i dont really know the significance of it but i guess that somehow it does play a part,
like the pay you get next time, ( cumulative of a few hundred more than if u grad with 3 years is quite significant over a few years).
yada yada. furthering studies?.. dno


then again, because my cap is in a dangerous position, don;t really know what to do then dont i.



haha. but its fine, haha just keeping up to the best;;just do what i can. haha







i do want to survive this semester adn all hell will be over in just 4 wEEKS FOUR HAPPY WEEKS : )
everything is ok , dont have to worry and dont have to be scared!! : )






haha,
OK JUST CAN PASS THIS SEM JIU HAO LE :::::::::::::
: )


goodie.time for lab report and then go read a bit then SLEEP <3
SLEEP baby:)

daear blog.
i dno waht to do?????

dear blog
you are not real,
i telly ou almost every thing, almost, haha
i am not too good with words,
you always remain so siletnt


i just want to be told that things are going to be ok, or that i will be ok, i will definitely be ok. we will definitely be ok. i dont want to hav to compare to others.
just tell me that i can definitely make it through,,,,,,,,,, and you will still be there to see me through all these things. Give me your shoulder to cry on, and then i will be better again.

I miss you, sometimes, i do. i really do. haha but no , i must bao chi a good distance i guess. haha





haha,
i hope i survive blog,
i hope i do :)
God has His plans,. im too myopic to see them
HW says that God wants to tell me so much things
but i dno if i am too deaf to hear Him

dear blog, am i really such a blur kok. haha
yeh it think i am.

haha
i dont know if it;s immense stress that i am feeling or what , AUNT has not visited me for the past 6-7 months. hahaa....


my body is going to not take it alr i actualyl feel exhausted and i am tired. haha



God please give me the strength to pull through this semester.
let me be content.






: ( happiness is short lived.
yesterday was my only day to play
i played and RESTED. now its over, i just have to continue what i was doing ~
T_T. moer tests till the end of the exam
kinda sux right,
haha










just want someone to say everything is going to be alright,
You;ve got Jesus with you.







its goign to be ok,
just give me a shoulder to cry on once in a few days, ahha

oakyyyyyyyyyyyy

SO the happy TUESDAY is overrrrrrrrr- - - - : (
haha,
that is really bad, cos why?
its really bad :(
haha

sigh means cannot slack le. starting today, HAHA
: (
gotta get to school soon sto study.. hahaa





yesterday i slept from 9pm to 9am!!!!!!!!!!!!!!: )
HAPPY till i dno what i know now that i still do feel like sleeping, haha you can never get enough sleep~~~~~~~~ <3
haha











oh dear.

BLGO
i want to cry
cos i still have TWO chapters to study
ANDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDdd
DO YOU KNOW HWOW MANY EQU?ATIONS ARE THERE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!









THIS GUY IS INSANE MAN
i want to slaughter hinm
: ( but also no use, saying COS I STILL HAV TO TAKE THE TEST REGARDLESS




: (
T_T
PHYSCISAL CHEM MAKES ME CRY

haha
soooooooooooo


is it safe to say that i think about you , a lot of the time?
probably not a good sign,
but you know, i just haha like the feeling, but i thank God that i can guard my heart and be careful about it : ) ,haha
BECAREFUL HOW YOU LIVE AS WISEEEEEEEE NOT AS UNWISE
haha










stupid right
obviously its not real because the signs are so obvious and they all indicate a straight NO.
haha oh well





and besides if both parties have agreed on one term then it should stay that way :)
haha











just 내겼테있어죠.







anyways i should um be studying, HAHA
can i tell you how clueless iam about this topic? hahaha
do you ever get the feeling that you have no clue what you are studying about ? haha......... yeh this is noe of the days










HAHA i just want to be sitting, ELSEWHERE BUT AT THIS STUDY TABLEEEEEEEEEEEE : (





someone told me that, their friends thoguht that i was psychotic :(
but its ok
what people say about me does not determine me.












oh baby i cannot WAIT TILL TUESDAYYYYYYYYYYYYYy
you can sms me at 10 am to congratulate me on the end of this BLIMMING test.
haha woooooooooooo
I JUST WANT TO PLAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY : )

hi blogg
i should stop being annoying, constantly
i should stop freaking out at small things



i canot wait for next tuesday
it is WHEN i can finally
just
take it slow
and then
work at MY OWN pace,
and catch up ( FINALLY) can yuo believe it "? its going to be the END of the semester then i can have thte time to catch up, ( so if you are part of the nus admin or can do something about the school system please help me and maybe consider interceeding for pooor slow students like ME, who really need the time, )

HAHA
YES so next TUESDAY ONWARDS.
after my test
well i do want to DEDICATE ONE DAY to playing.
start revisinG for all the subs, esp ORGCHEM


ok i can do it for next tuesday;s test!
GOGO baby

DEAR BLOG
i really feel like EMAILING the prof and ask him

" do reconsider postponing the test as THE CONTENT THAT HAS BEEN COVERED OVER THE SPAN O THE PAST THREE WEEKS HAVE BEEN SO HARD TO SWALLOW AND THAT WHY MUST HE HAVE THREE MID TERMS IN THE ENTIRE SEMESTER??? SERIOUSLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY AND i dont think that your purpose is to make us fail and feel inferior but to really grasp understanding, and the rate that this is going is really really hard to follow and especially this is so abstract...... having the test would not serve its purpose SINCE I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON.. AND BARELY HAVE THE TIME TO CATCH UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!





AH!
im so pissed with the lecturers sometimes seriously, they are so,unforgiving, makes me appreciate my other lecturers who are more lenient and give less tests, they seriously ROCK.


i would really love to study your module ALL THE TIME ( esp oh so constantly) and devote all my time to studying it,m but truth is, there are 4 other modules which are equally demanding and require my time and um, your tests are robbing away precious time to study!!!!!!!!!! ABND DONT FORGET LABREPORTS PLEASE TT............ totally ,. waste of time man lab reports, i m so gonna faint,




haha.. i guess even my body can tell that its super unconfortable maybe its becuase i am not used to this pace, or that perhaps i am just stressing myself up that ic annot understand,sianz. at times like these, you cannot do things like " why am i so sloww".. but to really just " do it though you are damn slow" . cos thats the only way to go about doing it.




sigh i just want to be able to SLEEP and EAT in peace....................... without my body rejecting everything that comes in. HAHA






hope lab would be fun tomorrow, i pray. haha

dear blog,
there are three people whom i have identified in my life to exhibit the same type of characteristics.
they are 3 pretty, cool, people, haha
stable, calm, awesome in their own ways, quiet, independent, bold, have their own thinking and direction and much more awesomeness, slim, haha and look nice in all types of clothing, talented in their own ways,

haha and i guess the reason why i am so in awe of thme is because they are exactly what i am not, or rhater they just exhibit favorable characteristics which i do wish to have, HAHA or im trying to learn to have.


they are so pretty, ! not that i am turning lesbianic or anything but i tend to envy girls, haha envy~


anyway, yeh i guess this is something which i wanna learn form them i guess,


oh well blog
sometiems i seriously dnot know what i am doing,
especially these lab reports,, i am totally KOK about it,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
its like whatrubbish am i typing on these reports? ,, haha,, and i rather use the SAME resource of ( time,,, ENERGY and TIME,,,,,,,, seriously ,one lab is like 5 hours and ONE REPORT is like 7 hours maybe? haha,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, LONG and tedious, and its super depressing : ( ) not to mention i am a total excel noob which makes calculation a pain in the X , luckily i haev the GC , which doesnt help much but .ohwell.. the point is , i rather use this time ( which is about like 12 hours a week in total i guess? TO DO other stuff!! LIKE STUDY THE SUBJECT FOR INSTANCE! AND NOT LIKE WORKING ON A NEW TOPIC IN THE REPORT) rahH!!!!





haha,, : ( well i really htink that the CHEMDEPT should CONSIDER GIVING US LESS LABWORK SO THAT WE CAN USE THE TIME TO STUDY AND HAVEE A GOOD GRASP OF THE IMPORTANT CONCEPTS TO LEARN ,, do oyu know how heavy a contennt the textbook can have? HAHA! T_T! i dno if they think we are superhuman or what, i seriously dont know how those who have gone before me have done it,
haha






enough typing, this time and resource should go to the lab report writing
-0-............

ssiganiubsuhhhhhhhhh

dear blog,
i am weak, and i not afraid to admit it,
its been hard, cos recently i guess i kinda over exposed a weakness that i had, and, um, iguess to some extent it makes me so vulnerable, at the same time, it can really strengthen something, like a friendsihp for instance,


its so scary sometimes, you never know whom you trust your entire, feelings and everything love is giving someone the power to hurt you, but trusting them not to . i kinda totally agree with this statement right now, love does not mean just BGR or what not, it could just mean FRIENDS in general, and yeh i guess i really love my friends, haha



i guess i myself do not know what i can offer people in a friendship, i cam be kinda boring sometimes, haha but i dno, i guess only my friends can answer that, haha

well , no matter how badly one is being treated we must rememebr that we are all precious in God's eyes, and that we should not be undervalued. or discount ourselves from the best.
haha





aynway
good day.
gotta finish my assignments and
having this feelign of repulse out of my body just feels WAY better
and seiously perhaps like last week was the lowest i ever felt in my life, haha
good grief. haha




ok
i rather be angry than REALLY broken






thank you God.
thank you
i pray for your peace that surpasses all understanding
i pray for your wisdom to do the right things, and to handle the things in my life,
i pray for your love that fills me ,teach me how to Love
thank you for forgiving me, and that i forgive others,
God give me more opportunities to love. teach me to love others just how you love me,
God i have the faith that, my prayers were answered and that nothing can take it away from me. and i know that You are a father who loves us and not a kill joy as what we may think with our small perspectives.
Help me draw strength from you each day.
i pray oto hear from you everday God. give me ears like samuel that i may hear You.

in Jesus name i pray
Amen

HI BLOG
i am kinda stuck on my geology report,
-0- i spent the past TWO DAYS trying to dig out info on a COMMON COMMODITY apparently. and um the info is not so common on the WEB.



so um yeah i did get into a kinda rough patch with a good friend of mine and i cried quite badly the past two days and seriously i really thought i would lose my good friend. but friends who tide though bad times and friction stay together. yeah which has proven itself positive ( with stef haha)....

hugs and people make things better really,. sometimes we expect the very person who hurt us to be able to heal us,, but today, at church, pastor spoke about forgiveness. i was so tired that i almost fell asleep in service and my heart was aching so badly that i kept stef;s hand over my heart. haha kinda like an external band aid for an internal wound.

pastor mentioned something about this

just imagine this




the person who hurt you one day, just come to your house. and then apologises for every hurt that they have caused you and everything and want to make it up to you. But do you think that they can really make up for the thigns they put you through? tears you shed, the graduations that they missed, the wedding dinner that they didnt go, the abuse they put you through?...
nope.

.
there are 3 steps in which we can get over a hurt
1) identify whom you are angry with
2) determine WHAT they owe you. What did they steal from you? you;ve got to know what the debt is. What was taken from you?
3) decide to CANCEL the debt..
i forgive _________ and from now you;ve got to get rid of it .


though i was hurting hours ago, saying this prayer ,, i was still partially hurt.

haha i think i irritated dozens with it though. i was heart broken seriously.



i guess dealing with the pain would take sometime.
haha

but i am glad that God had interceeded for me , and that He rellyy gave me what i prayed for last year.

Thank God.
im also so thankful for my church mates, who tell me that they are there with me always.



haha i keep saying this, that i;d rather have external wounds which one can see and try to do somethign about it, than an internal wound which no one can see and that you can't really do anyhtingabout it. but i guess the only person who has access to that internal wound, would be Jesus,

sometimes people dont see the worth of a crushed up bill. butab its still valuable. we shouldn't let one person;s actions towards us determine our value. We are valuable and loved and Jesus loves us enough to Die for us.


what a week.
chionging starts later.i better sleep first. haha

bye~

Labels: ou

i dont need anything


i just need a
you will be ok,
that is all







why cant people compromise for me /
AHHA COS I CNAT Expect them to be the same as i would be for them

dear blog
i really want to cry,
i really really want to cry,
but no i cannot
i must suck those tears back all the way back in
i feel so so so so sad,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,




i cannot believe that my close friend would choose to HURT me like that,i can just deny and say that no i am not hurt but yup
God please take this aching heart away,
ya, ok anyway i better do my stuff
i have 6 assignments due next week,
: (((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

dear blog
i am so sad
i let people close into my lfie and they
chose to hurt me ,
haha



maybe i am being too oversensitive

hi blog. so um
today went past really quickly?
i woke up about noon and realised that, um
time was running out
exhausted the time on physical chemistry, not too productive though

now i am up, late, i am going to get started on my report due friday! HAHAA oh dear


: (
i am so sad i really want to rest.

severely,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,


my mid terms just finished,
butstill have more assignments to come,
there is much to be done, by tomorrow.

i have many date dues
1)by this week i ahve to be doen with an organic report
2) finish a webcast
3) study 2 organic chapters and do the tutorial tomorrow.
4) read up inorg chapt 1-6
5) do the MC assignment for inorg


by next week i have an inorg report, and essay and an geology report due.
means that htisweekend, i have to
1) finsih my essay, ( due, i dno but lets say its monday) and ihav no idea what to write about.
2) do my geology report( due tuesday)
3) do an inorg report ( due wednesday)
4) read up chapter 11-14 for phy chem
5) first phy chem report to be handed up

not to mention that i still have no inspiration for my music piece
i just eralised that that means TONNES of things tobe done
HAHA dear lord i just realised that there are a lot of things to be done : (
and not to mention ah my morale may be pretty low by thursday cos i will get back me test papers:
have i mentioned that i hae not been doing to well/
guai girls can also do badly. haha





but its ok
becuase this is not the final exam and i will definitely excel.







GOGOGOGO KK : )
its okkkkkkkkk

T0T!!!!
I WANT TO SLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP TOMORROW :)
HAHAHAH
happy ~!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
kuai dian
i dont wanna be careless
actaully i realised that i hav to do damn well for this module cos its not SUABLE hahah which of course i dont intend to SU ahha








ok : )
byebye

hello,

can i tell you how much i cANNot wait for tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i have my last aLMOST last mid term tomrorow
which has been extremely excruciating cos ive been at it and studying for everything like for the past MONTH,.


: )))))))))))))))) HAPPY~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO sosos happy
hahaa



it stinks not to be good at something you love to do.
haha

but its ok : ) haha
anyway i cannto wait please congratulate me at 12 pm tomrrow i swear i will hug almost everyone i see hahhaha
and then its off HOME to um
rest and then
finis 5 assignments which i have.,
busyb usbyusbuusbusbyusbuys :)


God bless! :)

hi blog
my sistesr just went home





im really sad,
blog, i hav no friends
friends often break my heart
at the same time
i smoetimes do want people close into my lfie but i dont really want them to be either,





strange right , dno ,h
aha





now ib etter go read my notes or die badly tomorrow
haha






btyebye:)

dear blog
i hate social networks
i hate how
people
hurt my feelings by blasting at me by using a general statement and shoot me
why cant they just tell me





even though i have apologised
even though everything
even though
but its ok

ic anntot expect everyone to be SEnsitive,
people are so insensitive sometimes


and i dont feel bad
i dont feel bad and i dont want them to feel that way.
but it makes you feel @ that they feel that way.

yep


so much for that
bye!

dear blog,
im so tired, but everyday i have to force myself to wake up ,
i feel liek a hollow shell,
haha


sleep count? haha i slept at 5 and woke up at 730 today,
haha

aiyo, i still have tonnes to do,, and : ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((



my unhappiness count is really REALLY high
and there is much to be done!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i dno why sometimes i am so @#@.
esp taking this module, i feel that the use of elementary math is strangely tough,
i just can't think like how a normal mind SHOULD and WOULD.



: (










in everything i do i would ahve to spend twice the effort and time and everytihng


nope trying tominimize that now
: (





i really just
want
to
sleep and not worry :( !!!

i am a guai girl what
i dont skip school
i dont sleep during lectuer
i take down notes, lots of notes, basically everything that poroceeds out of ther mouth,
yet i don't understand!

i read it repeatedly and : (






T_T
God its so hard to understand
helo me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! : (














i want to cry already lah

hi blog
haha chiong week has started and i have 2 lab reports at hand and 1 test that is coming up.
i recently started drinking the usual hazelnutcoffee drink. it is an indulgence, and yet cos i have not had coffee in my system for ages, having to drink coffee now is extremely effective and haha i have only had 4 hours of sleep today <3 haha

yeh and i am suprisingly awake and have not yawned since then! : ) HAHA~
happy~

but anyway i think its taking a toll on my health, my appetite has not been too good, and i have been quite moody! : (

oh i just want this week to be overrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr : (





so deperessing,

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